Oops! I shoplifted!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So last night I went out to pick up a few things. On my route up and down the aisles of the store, I spotted something I thought my fella would like, so I threw that into my cart, too, thinking it’d make a nice little “stocking stuffer”.

I got to the checkout, slapped all of my goodies onto the counter, put the empty basket away, and began the process of extracting my wallet and debit card, fumbling around with the swipey machine, making polite chit-chat with the cashier (mostly about the gift for my SO–she loved it, too), etc. Soon I was on my way, with a bag full of goodies.

I headed over to my mom’s house (having been promised a smothered chicken dinner), and took the gift for my SO inside to show her.

She decided that SHE would like to give it to him (she’d been looking for a little something extra for him, and decided that this would be perfect), and so offered to give me the money for it so that it could be a gift from HER. She asked me how much she owed me, and I pulled the receipt out to check . . .

Hmm, that’s funny, I thought. If I subtract what I paid for the SO gift from the total amount, that means I got bath gel, conditioner, nail polish, a couple of boxes of “feminine hygiene” products, and two tubes of lip gloss . . .

. . . all for about eight bucks.

And we’re not talking generic stuff, either.

I studied the receipt more carefully.

Turns out I got the conditioner, the nail polish, the bath gel, and the lip gloss for FREE.

Wow.

Just so you know, I’ve already called the store to let them know I’ll be back today to pay for the stuff today. . .

The truly sad part is that no way am I telling my grandmother (who is in town, and was at my mother’s house when I realized I’d made off with a butt-load of free booty–she was quite pleased with my haul) that I 'fessed up, because she’ll yell at me for it. :frowning:

2

Winona? Is that you?
:smiley:
Well, at least you 'fessed up, and your conscious will be clear.

3

Yeah, don’t want to piss off Santa at this point . . .

And I thought about paying homage to Winona in the thread title, but I didn’t have any drugs in my purse at the time, so I wasn’t sure it was apropos . . . :wink:

4

I guess you did the ‘right’ thing, but I can’t say I’d have done the same.

Mostly I wanted to point out that I like the phrase ‘butt-load of free booty.’

5

When my daughter was a toddler, one of her favorite movies was Ducktales: The Treasure of the Lost Lamp. This movie has a character in it who is the stereotypical middle-eastern sneaky thief guy, whose MO is to stuff whatever treasure he steals down his pants.

My wife went shopping at a department store with our daughter in the kiddie seat in the shopping cart; my daughter was wearing sweat pants. As my wife was strapping her into the car seat, she noticed that our daughter had stuffed her pants legs full to overflowing with jewelry, bangles, and bracelets…

My wife pulled them all out, put them into a bag, and took the bag back into the store, and just left it on a counter.

6

Thank you, thank you . . .

I was hoping you would.

And I have to tell you that as broke as I am right now, I was tempted to take my Nana’s attitude and think of it as a gift . . . but I’m gunning for a new job right now, and I want my karma to be nice and squeaky clean! :smiley:

P.S. I looked at an apartment in El Cerrito once . . .

7

Heh. I love it!

Um, as long as the baby’s diapers were clean . . . :stuck_out_tongue:

Yet another example of how violence on TV affects our nation’s youth. :wink:

When I was a toddler, I swiped a Snoopy eraser from a card/gift shop. I had no idea that I couldn’t just take it, so there I was, happily and brazenly playing with it when I got back home . . .

Half an hour later, I was back in the gift shop, handing money to the cashier, with my mother standing behind me, prompting me to say “I’m sorry . . .”

8

I was at the dollar store the other day buying seven items. When the cashier rang it up she told me “$6.50.” I told her “It should be seven-something.” Rather than re-count my items she looked at the screen and said “$6.50” and gave me a “don’t tell me how to do my job” look. THAT I consider a gift, lol. I tried to pay for it but she wouldn’t let me!

Once I bought a scarf at (I think) a Venture (no longer in business.) When I got it home I unfolded it and another scarf fell out. I went back the next day with the extra scarf and boy were they confused! 3 customer service people were standing there scratching their heads at this scarf. “You mean you don’t want any money back?” Weird experience.

9

I agree, vv. If somebody’s going to argue with me about it, I will just take the loot and walk. I’m not fighting to give away a buck. And, frankly, when I called the store last night, the person who answered the phone didn’t seem to give a shit. But I’ll go in there tonight and see what happens . . .

And wow–how long has it been since I’ve been in a Venture??? Memory Lane, man, Memory lane . . .

10

I once walked out of a store with a pair of jeans over my arm. I had been looking for a sweater or something and completely forgot I was holding the jeans. I got outside the door, looked at the jeans, and SCREAMED! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! Everyone turned and saw me run back INTO the store swearing up and down I didn’t mean it. They believed me. Phew!

11

auntie em, that is so cool. Most people would not have bothered.

12

Thanks, Khadaji, but I didn’t really have a choice. I think the “free lip gloss” guilt would have turned me into a Poe character if I hadn’t 'fessed up. :wink:

13

You, sir, are a better man than I. Well, woman.

–Cliffy

14

You did good, auntie em. Hope Santa rewards you well :wink:

Earlier this month, a customer picked up some custom-made curtains from the store where I work (as extra Christmas help). It was a big load with lots of fancy sewing, so the total came to NOK1500 and a bit. Somehow the cashier rang it up as NOK40 :smack: She had so much other stuff, and was in such a hurry, that it didn’t strike her as odd until she was on her way home. Thankfully she was honest enough to call as soon as she discovered it. She came back to pay the difference - I think I heard they gave her a generous discount as a thank-you, too.

15

LOL. A woman with honor AND can make me laugh… I think I’m in love! :smiley:

Have a great Christmas auntie em!

16

Silly girl. You should have acted as a good thief, ignored the moral ambiguities of keeping what is not rightfully yours, gone back to the store the next day and bought your SO yet another gift with the extra money you just came into.

See? That would have been the holly-jolly thing to do. :stuck_out_tongue:

17

Sttooooppppp it! A gay man already won her heart. :slight_smile:

18

Hmm . . . which one? :stuck_out_tongue:

19

If I’m not mistaken, a certain freckled assed Air Supply fan, who shall remain nameless*, has managed to steal her from me.

[sub]*BTW I have already picked out the toaster I want when I convert him. Seeing as how he has Care Bears and matching dish patterns.[/sub]
I once got home from shopping at a Lowe’s and realized they hadn’t rang up about $75 worth of stuff. When I called the manager to tell them, he said “Merry Christmas, don’t worry about it.”

As it happened, I actually need to exchange one of the “free” items. The Customer Service folks gave me a really confused look as I explained why I didn’t need a refund, but actually needed to pay for the exchanged item.

20

Right after I sumbitted that post, I thought, “Awww… maybe she won’t do it.”

But ya’ did. :wink: One of these days I’ll learn. And when I do, Homebrew really CAN have you. :stuck_out_tongue: