If you were at an affair and the bar was free, would you expect the bartenders to have tip jars out? Should I really expect my guests to have some loose dollars to throw their way? …Isn’t this an imposition on my guests? (As a guest, would you expect to be tipping at an open bar?) What’s the “etiquette” about these things?
Always tip the hired help. Anything else is gauche.
Of course. Even in the UK where bar staff are paid a proper wage, it’d be odd to have them serving at a wedding and never get a tip even if they took an order of four cocktails, three Guinnesses, 19 lagers of 5 different kinds, 3 bitters and a Coke.
I’m trying to imagine a tip jar at a fancy affair and am failing. Wouldn’t it look tacky?
There’s been one at every wedding, corporate event, birthday party and shindig I’ve ever been to with an open bar. Now, I don’t hang out with the Gateses or anything, but some of them have been upper-middle-class events. I think it’s just the way it’s done nowadays.
I think if you want to avoid it, you’ve got to upgrade to servers walking around taking drink orders. Even there, many people are going to tip their server, it’s just a little less obvious than a tip jar.
Moving to IMHO.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
This is my experience as well. Even if you don’t put a tip jar out, a lot of people are going to throw the bartender a few bucks anyway, because I think it’s generally the done thing.
Now at an business party or event where the servers are circulating with trays of drinks, or coming to you to take your order, maybe I wouldn’t tip the server because it would be kind of awkward. And in this case I assume the sponsor is including a general gratuity in the cost of the party.
I don’t tip at events that are open bars. I once I went to a wedding that had a tip jar and I later found out the bar tenders were cousins of the groom. They took the tips and gave them to the couple. :eek: So, I guess the money and gifts people gave weren’t enough.
Good job, Colibri. Here’s a dollar. 
OT: I’ve been to a fair number of open bars. Even if there isn’t a tip jar, we tip anyway.
Similarly, I’ve eaten at restaurants for free (either coupons, or friends that work there, or just nice servers who decide to comp me). I always tip the servers there, too.
-D/a
I’ve seen tip jars at open bar affairs, and I’ve always left a tip.
…But if tip jars annoy you and you’re the one paying for the affair, I’m confident that you could make arrangements ahead of time (for a bit of extra cash on your part) to preclude tip jars.
I’ll bet you could even walk up to the bartender just as the event was starting, pull out a wad of cash, and tell him that you’re putting it in his tip jar right now as long as that tip jar disappears behind the bar for the rest of the night. He’ll probably be very happy doing just that.
Always tip the bartender. Always.
I always tip the bartender at an open bar. Sometimes if I don’t have loose bills, I’ve given the bartender say a 20 or whatever, and tell him with a chuckle that that should cover me for the night.
Normally, when I go to a party with an open bar, I give a large tip to start off with, normally while saying something like “I’ll probably forget at the end of the night”. Since I’m not paying per a drink, I wouldn’t want to open my wallet every time.
Plus, it’s always gotten me better service, even less wait time at a crowded bar (they come right to me), and/or stronger drinks when asking for a mixed drink.
If only they let me do it that way. No, in one case there was a required 20% gratuity, (not service charge) due in cash one week before the event. Tip jars came out until I complained.
In another, I rented a hall from a fraternal organization. Just the space- no food, no liquor. I was required to use their “volunteer bartenders” to serve the liquor I provided , although I didn’t need bartenders at all . I had to “tip” the volunteers about 25% of the cost of the hall rental mostly to hand out cans of beer and soda. They also put out tip jars until I complained.
As far as I’m concerned, the hosts should be tipping the bartenders/drink servers just as they tip those serving food. I’ve seen tip jars both at events with open bars and with beer/wine/soda , but I’ve never seen a guest tip the people serving the food.
I have been to open bar events with tip jars, and I tip. I’ve also been to open bar events where the host took care of the tip himself and there were no tip jars. I also tipped. It’s not really hard to hand the bartender one larger bill at the beginning of the night, or a smaller bill when I receive each drink. It’s a rare bartender who hasn’t made some arrangement to contain bits of cash that may be offered to him through the night!
I tip. I have been to places where the host puts a small sign at the bar stating not to tip as he will take care of the bartender’s tip afterwards, so I did not tip those times.
Is it terribly gauche not to tip the bartender? I’ve been to a few weddings with an open bar and I’ve never brought cash (I often have no cash in my wallet), and I haven’t tipped. Did the bartenders hate me for a cheapskate?
Every single time. I’ll even make sure that I stop at the bank that morning so I have a good amount of singles on me before arriving.
How do you know that it wasn’t the choice of the bar tenders to do so? :dubious:
I bartended and managed a bar at a country club for a few years awhile back and I always had my tip jar out during weddings and events where the hosts had an open bar and nobody ever complained. But in a place or during an event like that, you don’t put the tip jar out on the bar in everyone’s faces or anything. It should be behind you on the bottle shelving somewhere, somewhat unobtrusive.
It also shouldn’t have a big tacky handmade sign taped to it that says “tips”, either.
I agree: always tip your bartender.