No, it isn’t exactly the same as tips tipping for waiters and waitresses in a restaurant. Those are practically mandatory baring exceptionally bad service. Tipping bartenders at an open bar is completely discretionary. You don’t have to do it on every order and no one keeps track of it all. If your specific group is a bunch of booze hounds, it is wise to tip well in the beginning because it can get you stronger drinks or special courtesies like faster service if there isn’t a specific line. I used to work fancy weddings as a bartender. The money was great because of the tips but everyone got what they wanted if they tipped or not and we didn’t keep track. The law of large numbers dictated that some people in almost every group would tip well enough to make it worthwhile (with a few memorable and obnoxious exceptions).
I do.
I should have made it clear that I was paying for the event. So, it is not a question of tipping the bar tender, but rather if a tip jar begging to be fed by my guests is tacky. At a private affair? I think it is tacky. If they were tending bar in a public place (a lounge or bar & grill), that would not surprise me.
Also, what if the guests are not real drinkers? I hear the bar tenders expect to rake in $100 minimum per bar tender. If they don’t, should I cover the difference?
Were you tipping the staff yourself? If so, I would say it’s up to you whether or not they get to put out a tip jar.
I can understanding thinking it’s tacky, yes. However, in my experience in Chicago, open bars at private events are expected to have a tip jar. I literally cannot think of a single open bar event that did not have one, and I go to about 30-35 of them a year.
I don’t think I’ve ever been to an open bar where there wasn’t a tip jar…and it wasn’t subtly placed on the back of the bar but rather right out front. It’s so common out here that it didn’t even occur to me that the host could tip the bartenders separately.
Hosts do tip separately sometimes but it isn’t universal. If there is one piece of advice I can give to struggling college students and other young adults who need cash but don’t want to work in the sex trade, it is to become an upscale event bartender. If you get hooked up with the right outfit, the money is extremely good compared to most any other job and it is fun. I sometimes cleared $200 - $500 a day or more cash in college doing upscale weddings.
I once worked as a banquet bartender at the Town Lake Hyatt in Austin, TX.
Open bars always ticked me off because even though the hotel charged gratuity on top of the tab, I usually made much less on those nights.
However, some of those open bars made for a good laugh. One night was a cocktail/hors d’eouvres thing hosted by a lobbyist group when the state legislature was in session. In attendance were a large group of legislators (both parties) and a large group of Catholic priests. I got exactly $2 in tips from the guys in the suits and almost $200 from the guys with the white collars and black robes in two hours.
ETA…Shagnasty is right. I made SOOOO much more money working banquets than any of my friends did waiting tables or bartending in the college type bars. They may have thought their jobs were more fun, but most of the time I was off work by 11pm with alot of dollars in my pocket, and got to go be a customer in their joints where they were still slaving away for half the tips.
You know…the guys with the vow of poverty. 
Well, when it’s not actually YOUR money, it’s easier to let go of it… 
I think, if you are hosting the event, then it is up to you to tip the bartender.
However, if your guests wish to leave a dollar or two for the bartender as they get their drinks, then you shouldn’t stop them.
The only exception would be an event at a fancy country club where cash is never used, and consequently, there are no facilities for handling cash–members sign their tabs to their accounts and are billed at the end of the month. In that case, the host should tactfully advise guests that cash tips will not be accepted, and the host should be prepared to add a decent tip to that month’s bill.
Either way it was very tacky. If you want to give someone a gift fine, but I’m not giving towards it. Especially when I gave a gift (that wasn’t cheap).
If you don’t mind giving someone a gift or money, and then giving toward a family member’s gift that’s your choice. Well not really, because we didn’t know until well after the fact.
So you’re topping their pay up to the level they might have got for tips? Then it’s definitely fair enough to not have a tip jar out. It wouldn’t be fair to not allow them to top their pay up, because the IRS assumes they got tipped and taxes them on it regardless of whether they made the money or not. And some people will still tip in person, but at least you wouldn’t have the tackiness of a tip jar.
If the host gives a gratuity beforehand, then I don’t think it’s right to have a tip jar out. If I see a tip jar, I assume that the host has NOT tipped the servers/bartenders. A tip jar implies that the server/bartender has NOT been tipped, and needs the tips to make a living wage.
I also don’t like tip jars at places where the employees are making at least minimum wage, and where there’s no real service other than handing the customer a sandwich or a drink. If I am picking up my food at the counter, just what extra service is the worker providing? Is the worker coming around to see if everything is OK, or refilling my drink? Nope, s/he’s not.
Having said this, I DO tip the bartender at the beer company’s hospitality room. I figure if I’m getting a free beer/malt beverage, I can toss her a buck each time. I’m not sure whether she’s paid or not, she might be working only for tips.
At open bars I always tip. The tip is usually larger than normal considering I’m drinking for free.
You weren’t giving towards the gift, they were giving their earnings to the host. I mean, if the same bartenders were working an event down the street and had said “Cousin, I hate to miss your wedding but I have to work. Tell you what, I am going to dedicate my tips tonight to you. Whatever I make is yours.” Would the guests at that event be hoodwinked into contributing to a stranger’s wedding gift? I just don’t see how this is different. Family members often provide wedding services as a gift–bartending, catering, flowers, photography–and if you had offered to tend bar at your cousin’s wedding as a gift, it would be weird NOT to turn the tips over.
I sprung for my daughter’s wedding reception. The four hour open bar cost $32.00 per person and the contractual tip was 22%. This was not a service charge. There were 88 guests and two bars, one upstairs and one down, so the bartenders shared an up-front tip of $619.52, or about $75.00 per hour each.
They accepted, but did not solicit tips, by which I mean they didn’t make a big scene about refusing a buck or two, but they didn’t have a tip jar out on the bar either. I’m sure they made a least a couple hundred each over and above the minimum. Not tacky at all, and good for them.
edited to add: Damn, I’m a member! When did that happen?
You have your opinion and I have mine. Thus, why I don’t personally tip at big events that have tip jars. People can, and will, do what they want with their earnings. I feel jipped. I felt like the bride and the groom were double dipping.
It’s a very different situation*** IMO*** when someone is funding your gift who didn’t give a gift already. Maybe when I get married, I should be in the invite “I’m so special I DESERVE more than one gift. Bring two or my cousins will shake you down!”
I want to add I no longer deal with the couple and a few people were miffed when they found out.
But you only gave one gift to the couple. The tip was a gratuity to the bartender. Once you’ve done that it was no longer yours and the bartender could do whatever he wanted with it. If the couple had charged the bartenders for the right to tend bar and collect tips you’d have a legitimate gripe, but if they freely gave the tips to the couple, it’s none of your business.
It is my business, because I wasn’t told where the money was going. If everything was on the up and up why didn’t they tell people where the tips were going?
I am not being snarky, but I honestly don’t see why that matters. I mean, if you found out later they spent them on hookers and blow, would that bother you?