Open Letter to Clueless, self-centered parents;

The BBQ Pit
41

Funny I should find this thread today. I just had a delightful experience with absentee parenting this weekend. I took my 15-month-old son to a local bakery/cafe on Saturday morning. He was sitting there, enjoying half my breakfast after having eaten his (having him along for meals is how I lose weight) and watching the other kids at the table next to us when two more came in with a parent, presumably their mom. Said children, who were apparently still tired or cranky or just little jackasses, promptly started running through the bakery, screeching at the top of their lungs. One of them smacked into my son’s high chair (which was out of the way), almost toppling it with my toddler in it. After I steadied my son and on this little brat’s next trip by, I said something to him and he told me to “back off, lady, you’re not my mom!” while his mom stood in line, completely ignoring her children’s antics. I think he must have been seven or so. I can’t imagine ever, ever having spoken to an adult like that when I was that age. Anyway, I wanted to slap him and his mother silly.

It took me a minute to cool down enough to say something, but by the time I had gotten up, the older man behind her apparently beat me to the punch because she glared at him, changed her order to go and said loudly something to the effect that it was a shame that so many people seemed to hate children nowadays. She left in a huff with her hellspawn a few minutes later. My son and I stopped by his table so I could thank that guy on my way out.

I wouldn’t have minded some noise at all had the mom actually attempted to stop her kids’ behavior. But that she completely ignored them while they disrupted the entire cafe (and almost knocked my kid over), then had the gall to get mad at someone who said something to her was just the icing on the cake.

42

For you folks who have to deal with this insanity during your jobs, I wish upon you nerves of steel and titanium-plated eardrums. I wouldn’t survive 10 minutes in a joint full of screaming, misbehaving hellspawn.

Come to think of it, said hellspawn wouldn’t survive me.

43

Not necessarily…
Most people who see a really irritating child do not get angry at the store manager–they get angry at the mother. They are pissed, but have enough logic to realize that she is the one who’s being a jerk,-- not the store manager in his office, and not the parent corporation’s CEO in New York.

So–people are upset, but not at the store. They still make the purchase they came for, and will return in the future. Result: money in the cash register, today, and in future sales.

But–if the manager asks the rude mother to leave, she will get defensive about her kids, will storm out without paying and never come back.
Result: the store loses money, today, and in the future

44

D’oh, I missed the part about it being a manager. Yeah, she really screwed the pooch on that one.

45

It’s funny, the day of my OP, i was telling my other co-worker, a man in his early 60’s about CP2 and Little Banshee, and his response was the same as mine…

We would have never gotten away with that sort of behaviour as kids, it would have earned us an "ass-whuppin’ ", now, he’s in his early sixties’s, I’m in my mid-thirties (dear Og, I’m a “Thirty-Something”…AIEEEE!!! :wink: ), but both of us grew up well adjusted and “normal” (no, Mommy, NO, not the Kabuki mask, NOOO!!! :wink: ) despite the threat of, and occasional use of Corporal Punishment (is he related to Major Damage?)

I remarked to my co-worker that most times all it took was the threat of a spanking to stop the errant and disruptive behavior, what I really feared was “The Voice™”, you know The Voice™, right, it’s when your parents spoke to you in that quiet, yet menacing voice, that voice that told you "Hoo boy, are you in trouble now!

given a choice, i’d clearly have preferred spanking to The Voice™, it was able to carry all the parental unit’s disappointment and anger far more effectively than a simple spanking, which was only momentary physical pain

but Nooooo, neither option is allowed now in today’s parenting environment, thanks to the new-age PermissiveParent™ school of “thought”…

if Little Banshee was spanked, or if the parental unit used the threat of spanking, or even The Voice™, the problem would have been solved, if you’re not going to enforce boundaries, please, at least remove your child(ren) when they become disruptive, it’s common courtesy

46

That’s right up there with not tipping the waitress because the chef made a mistake with your food; or yelling at a computer store clerk because the manufacturer left the power cable out of your box.

Your “payback” will annoy a bunch of patrons just like you that are unhappy to be at Sprint, and a bunch of employees who had nothing whatsoever with whatever policy forced you to go there. The decision maker with whom you’re really annoyed will remain blissfully unaware of your clever scheme.

47

Not quite. Somewhere on this board, I posted about my leaving JoAnne Fabrics because of 3 young boys running and yelling through the aisles. Mom was clueless–I couldn’t even identify mom. The checker told me she had had to shoo them out of the ladies’ room! I don’t blame the store, but I did NOT finish my shopping there-I didn’t want to listen to the noise. So, JoAnne Fabrics lost some money that day. I do think that the manager should speak to the parent or directly to the child at times like this. No threats, but one can say something like “you don’t want to get hurt by falling. No running now.” Where’s the harm in that?

I no longer go into Burlington Coat Factory, K-mart or Toys R Us because of the poorly controlled children present there. None of these stores are any great loss to me and mine, but I wouldn’t say that disruptive kids do not effect the bottom line in my view.

48

Unless one of the annoyed employees tells me where to find Mr. Decision Maker, this is all I got.

The way I see it is this, if it annoys an employee enough that he quits to work elsewhere, I have hurt the company. If some other patron cancels their service, I have hurt the company. It is all little petty bits, but it is all I have access to, so I settle for it. Sad but true.

Ripped brochures, stressed employees turning inefficient, annoyed customers leaving, dirty waiting room furniture that will need to be cleaned or replaced, smudgy windows, it all hurts the company. They will try to pass those expenses to the customers, but that will cost them customers.

It is all pennies to the dollar to my waste of time, I know. I just don’t feel strongly enough about it to go to prison/hell for setting fire to their wastebaskets or anything that would come closer to my perceived loss.

ETA: and I never have done/will do any of the two things on your first paragraph. I see them as very different.

49

Being rude to your fellow customers and the line drones? You can write or email the CEO of any company, you can find his address on line. And- don’t like Sprint? Cancel and take your business elsewhere. Don’t like cable? Get Satelite.

Your version of revenge is useless, spiteful and ignorant.

50

Yes, yes, and yes. I explained why I am reduced to that.

As for taking my business elsewhere, not such luck here on the island. Competition here means race to the bottom. I am already at the end of the chain of mediocre cable companies. My next step will have to be stealing DirecTV, like it seems everybody does. At least then I will get what I pay for. I am fighting that choice real hard, though.

As for leaving Sprint, you know how contracts go. Between their incompetence costing me $200 and costing them 20 cents, I will take their 20 cents any time.

Believe me that being a jerk is as annoying to me as it is to the poor people at their offices. I would prefer to solve this from home, by phone or internet. If I were back in the 50, I probably could (or at least I would have where else to take my business). Here, they like it when they see you wasting a morning waiting for a 3 minute transaction. I suffer, they suffer. Petty, pointless, spiteful, and mostly useless. Yes, I know. Nothing to be proud of. This is the new me aging in the tropics.

51

Your tolerance for bullshit grows exponentially @ $55/hr.

52

There’s no amount of money I would take for having to work in an environment like that. Nope, no bloody way.

53

Dear Clueless Parent

Why the FUCK do you think you can bring your kid to a professional office environment and then exert no fucking control over them whatsoever? Bringing kids if you have to is only barely, I repeat barely tolerated under office policy. But bringing them in in the middle of the day and letting them run wild through the office is insane.

And yes, I know you don’t believe in corporal punishment. That’s super, provided that your system actually works. If it doesn’t work, then you need to re-evaluate your system to consider that it might not be the best thing. If endless “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” ing and threats of a “time out” just. Don’t. Work, then go with what does. Such as…spankings?

So I’m sitting in my office trying to talk to some whale of a client that has a $3M project with us, and all I can hear is:

Kid 1: “Waaaaah!”

You: “Shhhhhhh…shhhhhhhhh…shhhhhhhhh”

Kid 2: “DADDY I WANT THAT I WANT AIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

You: “Shhhhhhhh…I warned you Tyler, when we get home, I’m thinking about giving you a time out.”

Kid 1: "(unintelligible, but loud, some sort of chthonian gurgle)

Kid 2: (screams, then runs from the cubicle down the hall) “YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA-YA…!!!”

You: (after retrieving kid…meanwhile, Kid 1 has now walked over to a table of engineering drawings, and pulled one off onto the floor, creasing it which means it’s going to need to be re-printed) “I’m warning you, daddy is not happy. Do you want a time out? If you’re not careful, you’re going to get a time out…”

Client (to me): “WTF? Are you running a day care center there?”

(repeat for 3 hours)

54

The beauty is that once the kids realize you will follow through then you have too less often. My kids knew that Mom made empty threats so they laughed about getting over on her. They knew I didn’t so when I quietly said “I’m not going to tell you again” it got results 95% of the time.

I’m flabbergasted by parents who are offended when their kids misbehave in my store and I have to speak to them. This is someone else’s place and property so I expect your kids to behave the way I’d want mine to behave at your place. Our expensive merchandise is not here to for them to play with while you look around much like your china and knick knacks are not there for them to play catch with. They should be taught to look and not touch without politely asking for permission. If they treat me , our merchandise, and other customers with a little respect and consideration they are welcome. If teaching them to do that is too much for you then leave them in the car, or at the very least, don’t give me the evil eye or any sass when I correct them. Most of the time it’s not a problem because we speak firmly but politely to kids and parents. The ones who can’t take it leave in a huff and life goes on.

I’ve been tempted a few times to inquire " Has anyone told you about our child beating services? Completely free of charge , while you continue to shop we will take Jr to the designated area and lay a few good ones on his heinie."

I’m curious how many customers would look at me in horror and how many would say. “Oh yes!! Thank You!”

Remember the thread we had about the restaurant owner who put up a sign asking parents to control their children. Some customers were offended and others were grateful.

55

Tolerating bad behavior for potential profit is bad policy IMHO. If more stores were firm but polite in not tolerating parents with unruly kids then parents would begin to get the hint.

I’ve worked at the cooperate stores where employees and management feared the complaint to the district manager who almost always sided with the customer. “Oh, we’re very sorry our manager was so rude to correct your little demon spawn”

It’s BS.

In most cases if we have something a customer needs and our location is convenient they will forgive and forget and shop with us again. If they just can’t control their kids and have no intention of doing so then it’s okay for them to go somewhere else. The potential profit is not worth the aggravation or the damage done by careless kids and parents. Many parents no longer expect to pay for the merchandise Jr. accidentally dropped when he was fucking around.

The same goes for the customers who think that because it’s a store and we want their money they can get away with being verbally abusive to the staff. If you have a complaint we’ll try to fix it. If you can’t control yourself and communicate in an adult manner then there’s the door. Come back when you learn how, or don’t come back.

56

So nobody walked over to the parent and said. “I’m sorry, but your kids are disruptive. I’m afraid you’ll have to take them out and come back some other time.”

57

Well the more people who do it the more they’ll have encouragement to speed the line up.
It’s Pavlov response. The more common it is, the more people there are going to associate dealing with sprint with a crying annoying kid giving them a head ache, and probably try a different carrier if they get a chance.

And why the fuck should they make people wait long enough for it to be an issue?

Anything long enough for his kids to be an issue, except in unpredictable circumstances (like a bus coming out of nowhere full of people), is terrible bad customer service and sprints fault for making them wait with him and his kids that long.

58

Being part of management I agree. It’s my job to protect the stores assets and to try an insure a pleasant experience for the greatest number of customers. We have expensive displays that I know are tempting for kids but we still expect them to be respectful and for their parents to help them learn this stuff is not their toys.

We expect customers to keep their kids close by and under reasonable control. If the family with six kids can do it successfully because they taught their kids correctly then I expect the parent with two kids to be able to as well. I always say please and thank you to the kids and/or parents when asking them to not touch or be very careful. I’ve had a few parents leave because I’ve asked them to keep their kids with them rather than let them run around the store. I’m okay with that.

59

:eek: You don’t have children, do you?

FTR, I take my screaming child out of the store immediately (she’s 17 months) and let my husband pay for our stuff while I deal with her in the car.

60

No - half the people were chuckling at the Joy that Is Having Children in the Office, possibly because it distracted them from the misery they live in every day. Including their supervisor. I’m high enough above the person with the problem children that I could have forced the issue, but it would have been politically incorrect.