I was talking to a guy at work today, and I mentioned how my best friend won’t move up here, and he’s driving me crazy. “Your best friend is a guy? That is SO cool…you guys must be wicked close. Doesn’t it drive you insane that eveyone assumes you’re dating?”
I’ve actually never thought anything of us. We talk. We share secrets. We laugh. We flirt. No matter what, he’s always there for me, and I’m always there for him. Sure we’ve hooked up a couple of times, but any kind of real relationship would be way too weird. He’s my boy. The fact that he’s a male has never really mattered to me at all. So, in your humble opinions, what do you think of friendships consisting of oppisate sexes? Doomed from the start, or the only way to go?
Most of my friends are male and no, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
One of the first pieces of dating advice I was ever given was to check out the girls friends. If she has no close female friends, or if she has no close male friends, be carefull. Since then I’ve looked, and I have noticed that people who have no friends from one of the sexes tend to be more screwed up.
Some of my female friends are failed romantic relationships turned into friendships. I wish they would leave me alone. 
I have had several close female friends over the years. Some of these friendships have involved some sexual tension, which is nice. Some have had no sexual tension, which is also nice.
I have no problems with my boyfriend having female friends, and likewise, he’s happy that I have a healthy number of male friends. It really depends on the mindset of both people in the relationship.
For instance, a former friend of mine, Helene, had been close friends with Liam for around six months, and they’d constantly flirt with each other. Helene also started dating Liam’s friend Matt, but wanted to have her cake and eat it too - she would be platonic friends with Liam when Matt was around, but very touchy-feely when Matt wasn’t. It was obvious to everyone except the parties involved that Helene was trying to play the two off each other. However, it didn’t work because Liam honestly didn’t view Helene as anything but a buddy. So when he began seeing another girl, Helene just blew up - she would complain that Liam wasn’t spending enough time with her, that he was too obsessed with his girlfriend, that he was a bad friend, to anybody who would listen. Eventually Matt figured it out and dumped her, and Liam began to avoid her as well.
So the moral of the story is: between two normal adults, opposite-sex friendships are fine. However, someone in the relationship expects something more (which can also happen with same-sex friendships, I guess), then it can become nasty and complicated.
I’ve never really gotten along with straight male guys…for some reason they seem to scare me. So I’ve always had gay male friends, and gay males have always wanted to be my friend.
I have two gay friends at the moment [a couple] and we go out every weekend, I absolutely love it because there’s no sexual tension and they’re just like talking to a best female friend.
I dunno… I have several female friends. I have thought, at least once, about what it’d be like to be in bed with them.
My wife does the same thing.
Yes, we talk about things like this.
It’s just a fleeting thought when it occurs, but it does occur.
That having been said, both of us have really good friends who are of the opposite sex. Neither of us have a problem with that.
So, are opposite-sex friendships doomed?
No.
But if you act of those sexual feeling, then proabably so.
Although I’ve heard that people in their late teens and early twenties are more likely to have “f**k buddies” than people in my age group. (I’m 40). That is, someone that you know, who is a friend, with whom you can have safe, fun, hot sex with; and not have to worry about disease or the whole relationship-thing.
Ah well, that’s IMHO.
My wife and I have several opposite sex friends. She has always felt more comfortable around guys, even with some very close female friends. I think it’s great that of all the cool guys she’s friends with, she like me the best. guess that’s kinda why she married me, huh?
Opposite sex friendships are great. For example, this past weekend, we went to one of her (female)friend’s wedding and hung out with our mutual friends there, who all happened to be girls. So not only was I getting to see friends who we hadn’t seen in a while, I was the only guy getting all the attention from a bevy of very attractive women. For a married guy, that’s such a great feeling once in a while. Even tho some of them are the closest thing I’ll have to sisters, it’s fun to play flirt–just keep it where it belongs and don’t cross any lines.
Just to add something else on this:
It’s when I’ve been going through rough times that I’ve really been thankful I’ve had both male and female friends. The men, who don’t open up so much, will say, “C’mon. Let’s go to the pub. I’ll buy you a beer.” So we go there, and just sit and watch the cricket. Doesn’t seem like it’s much help, but I’m sure the guys understand where I’m coming from. Somehow it works. Then my female friends will look me in the eye, and say, “What’s the matter? You wanna talk about it?” And that’s really cool too. The combination of both these techniques helped me more than either one alone ever could have.
When I was younger, that is to say, in my teens, I had no female friends at all. Then, sometime around the time I got out of High School and began working I just seemed to become very good friends with a number of women. Not failed relationships or f**k-buddies, just very good friends. Now as I am in my 30’s I have about an equil number of male and female friends, but I would say my best friend is a woman who lives 200miles away with her husband and daughter.