Oprah: I don't think that helped.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Hoping this doesn’t go to the pit.

I’m home with 'flu at the moment, and I was unfortunate enough to watch Oprah the other day. It’s probably a very, very old ep, but anyway, it struck me as more wrong than Oprah usually is.

The subject was a teenage meth addict from the midwest. They did a “Day In The Life Of” film and then her family staged an intervention. The teen happened to be white, pretty and blonde, with an equally photogenic family.

Throughout the whole thing, she kept saying “I know I’m going to die if I don’t quit, but I don’t think I can.”

As she was being lead off to rehab, Oprah says something like “you can do this for you, and for America, and for all the other people out there in your position. You can be an example to all the other kids out there”.

And I thought:
Wow Oprah, way to add pressure to her. Now if she relapses, she’s not just letting down herself or her family, she’s letting down you, the whole of America and every other person who has ever been in her position.

This girl has doubts about her ability to stay clean as it is, I don’t think it was a good idea to add to that, because with addicts, the danger is that they’ll have a “I couldn’t quite even if I tried, so I might as well not try” attitude.

It’s supposed to be about focusing on YOUR recovery because it’s the right thing for YOU. Not because it’ll make Oprah happy.

Or are the pain meds and fever just making me over-react?

2

Nope.
50/50 odds the kid kills herself.
The pressure will be inhuman.
I can’t say what I think of Oprah, outside of the Pit.

3

Silly girl, don’t you know?

Everything is about Oprah. No shit, just ask her, she’ll tell you. :wink:

4

It would help me. I’m the type of person who won’t do a hard thing for myself, but if it will help someone else, I’m all over it. I finally quit smoking for good when pregnant, and it was easy, even though cigarettes still smell wonderful and I really want one. Now I have an infant who has delicate lungs, and is at greater risk for asthma growing up (due to her extreme prematurity). This can be triggered by smoke on my clothing - even if I never smoke with her in the room. So I now know I will be a non-smoker until the day she moves out, at the very least. I couldn’t quit for me or my life - tried dozens of times - but it’s easy for my daughter.

If I knew millions of people were looking to me to succeed, and would be horribly disappointed if I relapsed, yeah, that would help me not relapse. I couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing so many people.

And I suspect Oprah herself couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing millions of people. You don’t become a TV celebrity with her level of success without being concerned about being liked. Of course she wants to be liked. So I think she was using the tactic that would work on her.

But I doubt Oprah got to know this girl well enough to know if she was like me (and Oprah) or not. Chances are probably just as good that she wasn’t, and it was a horrible tactic. I could see someone close to her, who has known her for years and knows how to push her buttons, knowing that this sort of pressure might be helpful, I just don’t think Oprah was in a position to know one way or the other. So she should have erred on the side of caution and not put the pressure on.

5

Is the fact that she’s white and photogenic relevant somehow? I don’t mean that to be contentious, I’m just curious if you’re making some sort of connection here.

Anyway, I agree, I think she was being a tad bit overly dramatic at the expense of the girl.

6

SHAKES-Sorry, the white photogenic thing was relevant because THAT was why Oprah was saying she had to be an example to the rest of America.

There was a lot of stuff from the girl’s mother about how she couldn’t believe it would happen in a family “like mine”, and Oprah telling her it was important to get the message out there to middle America that their kids could also be meth addicts. I think the fact that,before the crystal meth took over the girl was a cheerleader came up a couple of times too.

Oprah was going on about how the poor girl could show everyone that not only could nice, middle class white girls become meth addicts, but that they could also GET CLEAN!

Basically it was “Hey honey, guess what, you’re now the Oprah poster-child for recovering Meth Addicts, whether you like it or not.”

I found it…distasteful.
Whynot-I get what you’re saying. You decided to give up smoking because you were having baby, and that’s great. I’d be the same, having to think about others is a good motivational tool. Knowing that if you took a puff you’d be letting the whole country down, rather than just your daughter and yourself, might be overkill though.

This girl was dragged on a chat show, sat through an intervention by her family in front of a live studio audience, got that charming speech from Oprah and was then lead off to rehab. To be honest I’m not sure how much of it was about her sincere desire to change, and how much was about giving in to enormous external pressure.

7

Roger that. :wink:

8

Speaking as a recovering person and former hopeless junkie, I have to say that I have mixed feelings on this.

On the one hand, giving warm fuzzies, lots of hugs, and unqualified support to an addict generally just feeds their addiction. Being tough, honest, and up front with them, and telling them things like you may love them, but you really don’t like them at all anymore, is far more likely to break thru the denial.

On the other hand, focusing the eyes of the nation on them, and telling them they must succeed to be an example to others, is setting them up for failure.

Of course, if you wait for the addict to want to change, most will die before they find that willingness. You can lead a horse to water, you can’t make him drink, but damn, you can wait, and feed him salty food until he gets thirsty!

9

Thanks QtM-That’s sort of what I meant.

The intervention I could handle (didn’t have to be live, or in front of an audience, but yes, it should have been done), sending her to rehab was a good move, no argument.

It was the unnecessary pressure of “the whole world is counting on you” I didn’t like.

10

People are generally motivated far more by internal urges and desires than external ones, like other people’s perceptions of them. Also, people say one thing and then turn around and do another all the time.

That said, unless Oprah’s producers are complete idiots who cannot determine in advance whether a specific meth addict is someone will likely be motivated by a desire to be seen as " a role model" – this strikes me as a particularly boneheaded tactic.

11

Just poking my head in - I see that you’re in Ireland. Here in the states, we’ve had one “follow-up” visit with the girl in rehab on Oprah. She was doing well at that time, FWIW.

Some people do well with added pressure - others explode. We’ll see. :dubious:

12

I didn’t see the show, but in defense of the tactics, if it’s true that drug addicts have low self-esteem, maybe they don’t think enough of themselves to quit (“I’m not worth it”), but they might do it for others. ??

13

AuntiePam-that was what the family intervention was for. Her sister and mother told her how much they loved her, how they were scared about her future, and how her addiction was hurting them. I don’t think that Oprah’s comments were particularly helpful on top of that, is all.

Having said that, I’m glad the girl is clean and I fervently hope she remains so.

14

Yow-ww. I’m with the OP, what a way to freak the poor girl out.

Kinda balances out the whole “Everybody gets a car!” in the karmic sense. :slight_smile:

15

Not in my experience.

Us addicts tend to have false self-esteem. Either rating ourselves too high or too low, depending on the mood, the situation, or the day of the week. We are often either the greatest things on earth, or the worst, and often on the same day. It’s actually a form of unbridled grandiosity to decide that we are the lowest of the low.

What many addicts sorely need is a sense of true humility: An accurate ability to assess one’s own worth, complete with pluses and minuses.

IMHO, of course.

16

I’ve got to think the Frazier episodes that had the woman who took over Frazier’s show and started calling herself Doctor Whateveritwas based her character on Oprah.

17

That’s an incredibly perceptive remark.

No strong feelings on the thread but I wanted to say that.

18

Not much doubt about it. Life magazine did a piece on snobbery in immediate post-WWII period. Included were the “we’ve got it worse than anybody” and “I’m the worst possible case” snobs.

19

Not much doubt about it. Life magazine did a piece on snobbery in immediate post-WWII period. Included were the “we’ve got it worse than anybody” and “I’m the worst possible case” snobs.

I’ve been to AA meetings that began to seem like contests to see who could claim to have sunk the lowest.

20

I remember a number of years ago on Oprah, there was a father who had lost his son to carjackers. I can’t remember the fine details, but the nub of the gist was that he was car-jacked while on a fast food drive-through line, they made him stay and get his food, they drove him out to the woods, shot him, dumped his body, and then drove away, eating the grub. The father was a big burly man, and it was incredibly moving and pathetic to see him break down and cry as he recounted his son’s killers’ callousness.
The audience was stock-still, watching the man grieve. Oprah, in a stirring moment of sensitivity said in a low, emotional voice, “Wow. I can’t believe they ate the burgers.”

:smack: :rolleyes: :mad: :frowning: