Order of Birth

In My Humble Opinion
1

The heck with horoscopes, you’re fortune is in the birth order! Most of my friends are first-born, and some are lucky enough to be an only-child. Without exception, these people have done EXTREMELY WELL for themselves. Many are opportunists with a knack for being cut throat and callous.

The “second child” children are most fretful, insecure, and lost in the crowd. Being lost in the shadow of #1, these are the risk-takers and attention-getters. These people are coy in their ways. Sometimes a good friend, but not always dependable. All in all, a free spirit.

And the rest of us? I WAG we’re perhaps quiet and introverted. We’re loyal friends. We are doomed to struggle to find our way through a life of complacency.
Yes, I’m the baby of the family, but by no means “babied”.
I guess we’re used to fighting for everything we have in this world, and still never quite used to always coming up last! :frowning:

I guess I’m generalizing, but also venting…
I’m curious to hear other Dopers take on this. Where do you stand on the family tree?

  • Jinx
2

My older sibling perfectly fits your younger sibling description; I, the younger, perfectly fit your older sibling description. I guess we’re the exception that makes the rule? :slight_smile:

3

Baby of the family, the youngest of four sons, with 10 years difference between me and my next oldest brother.

Quiet and introverted? Used to being babied? Nope, not me. Particular, fickle, and hard to please? That’s me in a nut shell.

I’m also loyal to a fault and have worked my ass off for everything I have.

4

I’m the firstborn of 5 - compelled to be an over-achiever by an over-achiever mother. Thirdborn is doing even better than I finacially, tho in his personal life, he’s had probs. Youngest was much-beloved, pampered, outgoing, fun, witty, married and divorced a substance abuser, never achieved much of anything - some self-esteem issues there. Secondborn doing OK, good hearted but not extremely intelligent. Fourthborn is Mother-clone with a pair of bratty offspring.

There’s a soap opera in there somewhere.

5

Nope, not at all in my family.

Firstborn – more quiet, less ambitious than the rest of us. More of a caretaker. Married to the same person for almost 40 years.

Middle child – The outgoing extrovert of the family. More ambitious than the rest of us. Also more independent, the first to leave home. Two bad marriage choices, now happier alone.

Youngest – not really of this world, more an artist/intellectual. One bad marriage, one fairly successful one.

My wife’s family.

Oldest – the most independent, but (surprisingly) not ambitious or a risk taker. Married later in life, but has made it work.

Middle – the caretaker, the one Mom always calls. Married right out of college and still going.

Youngest – was the spoiled baby for a long time, now making up for it by being more ambitious and working harder at it than anyone believed possible. A very bad marriage, although not ruling anything out in the future.

6

I think you have just invented a new field of study for people in the study fields.

Why all the fuss over twins separated at birth?

Why not see if siblings split up at 1 or 2 years show different strengths if first or second born?

Talk to the right donor, and they will name a chair after your. The Jinx Chair of First or Second Born Studies.

7

Not in my family either:

1st Born: Currently in Jail (common)

2nd, 3rd & 4th All successful.

5th Stay at home Mom

6th: See first

8

My family…

First born: Only one married (didn’t happen until he was 30), Ivy league school, has done pretty well for himself, but he is the classic over acheiver. BTW, married to another first-born. Didn’t date a lot until after college. Has some introvert qualities, but they’re well hidden.

Second: The “black sheep” but only to a point. He always made us realize he was there, and he isn’t a screw up. My bet is that he’s better off financially than the rest of us. But we don’t talk about money too much. Dated a lot through high school, has become slightly more introverted with time, but still more of an extrovert.

Third, baby for 8 years, only girl(me): introverted, not a big dater until I moved away from my brothers (ok, so they were a little protective…) Struggled to form my own identity for, but finally found who I am and what I was happy with.

Fourth, the baby: He was truly spoiled-pretty much got whatever he wanted, from all of us. I think the better toys and such were just because Mom and Dad had more money by the time he was about 5, so they could afford to give him more things. He’s a good kid (20 now), but he has no real ambition. I think since we were always there to do things for him, he hasn’t really figured out who he is or what he wants. Has currently failed out of two colleges, yet to finish freshman year.

9

I’m 4th of 5 and middle boy. I’m the “white sheep” of the family:

1st (sister): On third marriage, has essentially disowned daughter who has a racially mixed baby. Quit school in the 10th grade (abusive father NOT helpful) Age: 44

2nd (brother): Quit school in the 12th grade! Can only get menial labor jobs. Has no original teeth (well, this IS the South :D) age: 42

3rd (sister): Quit school in the 11th grade. Treats daughter (from an “encounter”) like trash so that her son (from current stupid, stupid husband) won’t feel as stupid as he will become. age: 41

4th (YAY!! ME!): Graduated high school in top 10%. Degree in (now defunct) computer programming. Married. Debt-free (except for mortgage). Have a wonderful wife and family. Will ultimately be executor of parents’ estate (which I am NOT looking forward to) age: 38

5th (brother): Allowed to quit school in 9th grade by mother who STILL sees him as her “baby” (sorry, there’s no vomiting smilie. Yet.) Been in jail 4 or 5 times. 4 DUI’s. 3-5 kids (some are of questionable lineage). Has trouble getting or keeping jobs. Has a thing for skinny, stupid blondes. Just finished 4th marriage. A real winner. age: 35

So, take that and run it your psychiatric flagpole and see who salutes.
It should be noted that BOTH parents quit school in the 12th grade (!) to get married and start this whole mess.

Whew! I feel MUCH better now.

10

My family (of two):
Oldest - pushy, demanding, often hard and unforgiving, strong willed, focused.
Youngest - spineless, directionless, weak willed, gentle natured, a pushover.

My SO’s family is a bit more complicated. For 11 years, they were a two child family with my SO as the youngest, then suddenly two little girls came along. So my SO has been the youngest of two boys, and also an older brother to two girls and therefore a middle child. But to describe them:
Oldest: Scattered, frequent user of “soft” recreational drugs, easily influenced, directionless, soft hearted but quick to anger, intelligent
Second Child: Extremely focused, used to employ oldest child (fired him - twice), kind but impatient, slow to anger, mature, determined, intelligent
Third Child: (still a teen) A bit scattered, soft hearted, no temper but emotionally yo-yos, irresponsible, young for her age, intelligent and focused at school
Fourth and Youngest Child: (nearly a teen) Determined, focused, sensible, stable, possible temper, intelligent

In fact, children one and three, and children two and four are very similar in disposition and outlook. Three is not as damaged and isn’t likely to go off the rails like one. Neither one nor three have shown much willingness to work (they’re fussy about their jobs), while two and four have a strong work ethic and will do what needs to be done. I guess both one and three are in essence the oldest, and both two and four are in essence the youngest, but two and four better fit your profile of an eldest child, and are more like the eldest child in my family.

11

If you want to see some serious research into birth order and possible affects, I would recommend Michael Shermers The Borderlands of Science. There is a chapter in there relating some research done to determine if birth order correlates to a willingness to accept new scientific ideas.

I didn’t necessarily find it all that convincing and the book as a whole is terribly written, but you might find it interesting.

12

I want to add my comments to this:

Sounds like you had to fight it out against your older siblings on your own, which would probably be the case in a lot of families, and would explain why all youngest children who had to take the leftovers from their older siblings have some things in common - but not all youngest children are in that situation.

I’ve described myself and my brother in my earlier post. I’m a fighter, he isn’t. Since I was female and he was male, he didn’t get stuck with so many hand-me-downs and things like that when we were kids, so he’s never experienced that. But the biggest influence on both our personalities was my mother. She thought that because I was older, I was better able to take care of myself, so she would always side with my brother against me because he was “little” and I was “picking on him”. Everytime the two of us competed for anything, Mum would side with him and take it from me. So I had to fight harder and harder for what I wanted, and I had to do my best to show that I was more deserving, that I needed it more than he did. That’s hard to do. While she was worried that the three year age difference gave me an unfair advantage, she didn’t see that she was actually making me compete with her, and she was 20-odd years older than myself.

Eventually I came to hate him, and to consider her the enemy, and I moved out of home young. My family couldn’t understand why I was always so angry. A few years on my own did me good, gave me a chance to live in a place where I didn’t lose every battle that came my way. When trouble comes up now, I fight with everything in me because I was taught to fight on an uneven battle ground as a kid. Meanwhile, my brother won’t stand and fight because he’s never had to fight his own battles, and doesn’t know how to start.

Sure, I’ve grown to love both of them now that I’m an adult and not competing with him for everything from posters to the larger bedroom to love. Mum and I get along well because we’re a lot alike. But I spent a lot of years wondering why she liked him so much better than me, and why it was never my turn. I think now that I got the better end of the deal because I can make my own way through life but my brother still needs someone to fight for him. Of late, that someone has been me. I’m strong enough for both of us.

13

This needs explaining. My dad was married twice (his first wife died in childbirth). I am the 6th of a total of 7 or 4th of 5 in the second family.

1st in 1st family. Female. Married 4 kids (2 boys 2 girls) all successful. Stay at home mom, but married successful chemist.

2nd in 1st family. Male. Married twice, 1st wife died also. 2 kids (both by 1st wife, both boys). 1 semi-successful: salesman type, changes jobs often. 2nd son retarded. He married late in life (both were in their 40s when retarded child was born).

1st in 2nd family. Female. Married twice 1st husband died. Both husbands successful. Mostly stay at home, but did work in early years. Kids 5: 1 girl 4 boys. Mostly successful (one super successful, Naval Academy, etc.)

2nd in 2nd family. Oldest twin girl. Married railroad man, 4 kids 2 married both very successful (1st and 3rd). 2nd and baby are both babies. Youngest lives at home.

3rd in 2nd family. Youngest twin girl. Married civil servant. Rough few years when he changed jobs and cities with regularity. 3 children 2 boys 1 girl. All 3 divorced. Youngest son (divorced but no kids) finally straightening himself out. Jail, divorce, dui, wanderlust all contributed to his downfall. Now picking up pieces. Other 2 have kids from the divorce, so are busy raising them and straightening out too.

4th in 2nd family: Me. Mildly successful, but not early on. Now in computers and making good money. 7 kids 5 married 2 still live at home, though way too old for that (It’s the economy, stupid!). Our kids: oldest married 2 kids, professional man, accountant, but shes a stay at home mom. She had twins also, the girl is fine but the boy’s been diagnosed as autistic. Married after they met in the Air Force. 2nd son, not married, lives at home…teacher. 3rd daughter married 3 boys, she’s a teacher, husband a correctional officer (prison guard). 4th daughter, 3 kids 2 boys, 1 girl. stay at home mom. Husband programmer for local company. 5th boy twin, teacher lives at home. 6th girl twin, teacher, married no kids, but expecting one in January. 7th youngest, After a hitch in the Army has come home completed degree in Accounting and works for Aera energy (formerly Shell Oil). 1 child. Wife does not work yet.

My wifes family: her. Only child, extremely shy, very motherly (as your probably noticed) she also digs cats and has taken in many strays. Worked as a teacher before we were married, as a nurse during.

Baby in 2nd family, my ‘little’ brother. Probably the richest, in terms of money, of all of us. Joined Pacific Bell as a pole jockey and worked his way up to engineer. Wife’s a nurse. 2 kids 1 boy 1 girl. Girl unmarried, teacher. Boy, married divorced, remarried same woman again. 1 child.
There you have it. Hope it helps!

In case you wondered, yes, we’re Catholic! :cool:

14

Nope. My younger sister is every bit as successful, cutthroat and callous as I am. Fretful? Insecure? Lost in the crowd? Not a damn chance. She’s leading the way and proud of it.

I think your theory needs a little research. :slight_smile:

15

hmmmmmmm…the implication being that stay-at-home moms aren’t successful?

16

Im the fourth of five.

First born - died at age 6

Second born - became a perpetual student. Excelled in high school, then went on to get two college diplomas and two university degrees. She is assertive and somewhat aggressive but an over compensator as a mom. She has awesome kids.

Third born - took 3 1/2 years of a 4 year degree and then quit, breaking her mother’s heart. She went on to take HOrticulture, married a hippie type with a great job. She quit her high paying job to stay home with the kids and has turned into a school’s worst nightmare, hanging about all day long. Her kids are absolute brats, rude to the core

Me - I go with the flow but have ended up the family strength bug and peace keeper. I always end up being the one giving the bad news, taking care of things, organizing events, remembering special occasions and bearing the weight of the world on my shoulders. I’m a sap as well. As a mom, I think I’m a good one. I love my child no matter what, but I also teach him and expect him to be respectful of others. You can generally find us curled up under a blanket reading or on the floor playing trucks. Flour fights while making perogies are our specialty.

Fifth and only boy - He started out as an overachiever, easy going and has become very opinionated and temperish. He is single and a loving brother and uncle who I hope finds a great lady some day. He is in a good line of work, owns his own house and loves spending time with the boys. He’s a sports nut and nothing interrupts a hockey or football game.

17

I have an odd family, I am the youngest of my Mom’s kids and the second oldest of my biological father’s. I grew up with Mom and my Dad who is not my biological. Since I didn’t grow up wiht younger siblings around I was the baby of my family. I am no more insecure than most people I suppose. I was not overly babied as I have an older sister who I have always felt very protective of. To her I was always a toy to torture and pester as she saw fit, I saw her as delicate and needing protection. I still see her that way. There are things I won’t tell her in case she can’t handle it.
I am more of a loner, I don’t need people around me all the time. I thrive in crowds and around people. I am not really shy, I am laid back but can be very agressive. I am a tue friend to those who consider me a friend, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them. I am loyal and honest to a fault. I don’t see myself as the typical second child. I am overly loving but that really came from being a Mama. Before Mamahood I was more reserved and hesitant to love.
I think your theory is lacking more research. Grouping people is never easy especially when we are all so different.

18

Maybe it just takes a couple decades to know for sure if the stay at home was successful.

19

My family:

1st born - Son - 31 years old, married for almost 11 years, 2 daughters, age 7 and 4. He didn’t date at all until he moved out of our parents house. He dated two girls before he met his future wife… she’s his one and only. They’re both first borns, he’s a welder, she’s a Dietician. They make good money, have a nice house and seem to be really happy.

2nd born - Son - 27 years old, married for almost 6 years, 1 son, 5 years old. As a child he was always pampered because my mom felt her middle child needed more attention so he wouldn’t feel left out of not being the “oldest” or “youngest.” This is the child that could do no wrong in my parents eyes and it’s still that way today. He had lots of friends in school but didn’t start to date until he was about 20-21. Then he met his future wife and she’s his one and only too. He works at the same company as my other brother and makes good money. His wife is the bookkeeper for our local grocery store and does o.k. His son is basically a good kid but is by far the favorite grand child of my parents.

3rd born - Daughter (me) - 26 years old, divorced after two years of marriage, had a daughter in that marriage and a son with my current SO. I was (and still am) the black sheep of my family. I clamored for attention and discovered that if I got in trouble… I got lots of attention. The more I acted out the more I got noticed. It worked for me back then. I was introverted as a child but once I started high school I came out of my shell. I had lots of friends and dated a lot during high school. Have had numerous partners (although my parents don’t know about more than 3 or 4 of them) and relationships. I’ve worked my ass off for everything I have now and am very independent. I put myself through school and currently work for a large insurance company and make good money and I have a beautiful home and a wonderful family.

I really don’t think birth order has anything to do with how successful you are later in life. I may think my life would be a lot different if I hadn’t felt the need to act out the way I did but I can’t change the past. I’ve accepted my lot in life and I love my life. Everything that I went through as a child/teen has made me the person I am today… regardless of what order I was born.

20

I was the first of my [King James Bible]father’s seed[/King James Bible], and the first from my mother’s womb. Later some older step-siblings entered the picture, so they may queer the results.

Me in a nutshell: Creative, regimented, ambitious, motivated, perfectionist, control freak, short-tempered, works his ass off, often times impulsive, somewhat socially retarded. I prefer to be left alone but will put on a good face when the situation warrants it. I’m loyal to a fault to those who are closest to me; and if you treat me with kindess & respect & patience I’ll give you the same.