You might actually come up with something decent if you threw away the cream and just used the cookies. As is, I don’t have high hopes for this one.
The oreo’s are a bit much for me… but maybe a graham wheat beer would be nice? Why not bran, germ, and endosperm… all to malt?
Beer is fermenting nicely. As predicted, no head whatsoever. Looks like some sort of dark layer at the bottom as well. The trub seems to be forming on top of that.
I’ve got a brownie recipe that uses Oreos crushed into a grey dust as a chocolatey flour; if this recipe comes out okay but not chocolatey enough, you might consider increasing the surface area of the Oreos.
I agree. Were I to do this experiment, I’d ditch the cream, too. I can’t possibly see any reason to introduce fat into a beer. And if I wanted to retain some sweetness, I’d introduce some lactose. How many gallons are you brewing? It seems like you’re woefully short on fermentables there, but I could be wrong.
edit: I missed the part where you mention 3 lbs of dry malt. Looks like you may have just enough for a lighter stout.
I was actually counting on quite a bit of sugar from the cookies. I think the cream was the main source of fermentable sugar based on the way the cookies themselves behaved. I may very well have a light headless stout on my hands. Nevermind that, the science must go forward. I wonder what my next beer will ferment?
Have you considered marijuana and/or psilocybin mushrooms? 
I’m fascinated. Appalled, but fascinated. Please keep us updated! Personally, I wouldn’t want an oreo beer any more than I’d want a hot fudge gin and tonic, but if you dig it, more power to you.
Cheese! the first Cheese beer! The world will thank you… (well, those who drank gladtobeblazed’s “Old Dopeshroom” will)
If Drew made “Buzz Beer”, would this be “Sugar Rush Beer”?
I would have suggested boiling the cream into the wort, then skimming off the excess fat.
Also, may I suggest using bottles that you would not mind pitching after they’re empty? Since glass is porous, the fat might stay around and ruin any other beers that follow. (See: Why you never pout beer into a milk glass.)
I really need to get a new brew kit.
That is a very good point that I hadn’t thought of.
For your next beer can I suggest trying Skittlebrau? You could become a hero to beer drinkers and Simpsons fans around the world.
Actually, my guess is that it will give it little or no head.
Skittlebrau: Waste the Rainbow.
Or should that be “Get Wasted by the Rainbow” …
Sounds like he’s looking for something to wash down his Oreo Pizza
Glass is not porous, that’s the point of using glass in brewing. Plastic is porous, which makes it a pain to clean, along with being easy to scratch during cleaning. Sufactants (soaps, and other things) will stick to glass some, but a good cleaning with a good sanitizer (and/or a soak in Oxyclean) will remove the oils.
To the OP. You’ll not get as much sugar from the kreme as you’d expect. Once you’ve scraped the kreme, expect about 6oz per package. It’s also too much sugar vs malt for a good product, you’d likely get a cidery thin stout, with no head.(Cite from Cockeyed’s “how much is in series”) Assuming 5 containers x 6oz, gives 30 oz of kreme. Let’s assume half of that (by weight) is sugar, that gives a pound of sugar (more or less), counteracted by 3# of malt. It’d be pretty low ABV.
The cookies might add some chocolaty goodness, but it’d be easier to add some cocoa to a secondary (also adds fats, but they tend to float up to the top, syphon off, leaving the scum in the secondary.) I’ve added 16oz of cocoa to a stout in the primary, but didn’t get much chocolate flavor. I’d add to secondary if I do it again. You’ll also likely need some lactose, or non-fermenting sweetener to restore the oreo type balance, if it all works.
If you’re really set on this recipe, up the malt extract to 6.6# of liquid, or 6# of dry. Quickly running it through Qbrew (brewing program, freeware), with 3# dark DME & 1# table sugar, I get an ABV of 3.5% (OG 1.036) Fine for a session beer, low for a good stout. With 6# DME, I get 6.2% with an OG of 1.062.
Hops look good, depending on how you add them. For a stout (dry), I get a guideline bitterness at 45IBU max, 2oz of Northern Brewer for 60 min gets you 59IBU, and 1oz @60, 1oz @15 gives you 38, which is more in range, and will give some hop flavor. A sweet stout has a lower upper limit guideline.
It’s really not that bad. It does create somewhat of a mentos-and-Diet-Coke reaction, but on a much smaller scale.
For what it’s worth, Oreos don’t have lard in them anymore. Growing up, they were one of the classic non-kosher snacks, and I well remember the huge fuss when they became kosher, when I was in tenth grade (about a decade ago). It was matched only by the M&M frenzy three years earlier. They’re still full of fats, so no guarantees on your beer chemistry.
What was the M&M frenzy?