This brings up one more question for me. What is the chain of command. I talked with my son this afternoon, the one that lives in the general area, and made sure he understood what I would want. If he was first on the scene and gave the ok, would I have to deal with somebody’s last minute change of heart. (well, no, I’m dead, but my wishes) I think we are talking only a few hours here to get going on this, right?
Unless you have a power of attorney, your next of kin has the last word on what’s done with you, even if your next of kin is a person you haven’t seen in thirty years and who hates your guts. Your spouse is your next of kin. If you’re not married, your children are your next of kin. If you don’t have kids, your parents are your next of kin. If you don’t have parents, your brothers and sisters are your next of kin.
Where we’ve had trouble is when a person’s next of kin is several adult children or siblings who can’t agree on what to do. If you’re not married and have just one child, that kid will be the one to (hopefully) carry out your wishes. If you have more than one kid and they disagree on what to do with you, a big mess will ensue. You can give one of your children power of attorney.
If you’re not married but have a significant other whom you’d like to make those healthcare decisions for you, you’d best get that in writing. I’ve seen several cases where the person who knows and loves the patient best is legally pushed aside when the next of kin, who doesn’t know the patient or even particularly care about him, is making the decisions.
Good question, again, Jim.
Things vary by state (each has it’s own laws addressing this)
Precedence usually runs as follows -
Spouse (Ex’s have NO say whatsoever, unless you have granted them a medical power of attorney)
Adult children
Parents
Siblings
then it gets murky real fast.
Generally, the hospital will want to contact everyone at the same precedence. One adult child, for example, can block a donation approved by the other children, but could not override a spouse.
Sue from El Paso
Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
Ok, I think Im not getting the timing of all this. Doesn’t the hospital need to get going quickly to salvage as many organ as posible?
If I have one son here locally that knows very clearly what I want, do they have to wait and get in touch with my other 2 kids in Missouri and get all 3 to agree?
I’ll give this thread back if anyone wants to jump in here, but since I have these people’s attention I’m gonna use.
It depends on your state’s laws, Jim.
But, yes, they might have to at least attempt to track down your other children & get their telephonic OK, before proceeding with collecting your organs. In the meantime, you would remain on life support to keep the organs perfused (potentially could keep organs viable in your body for up to 48-72 hours IIRC, though this is far from optimal from the transplant success rate standpoint, costs YOUR estate a great deal of money, and ties up an ICU bed.)
If you know what you want & have far-flung family, a medical power of attorney, as Holly described, is a good way to ensure things happen as you would want. Designate your local son as authorized to make decisions if you are unable to. Make sure he knows about this AND knows under what circumstances you would want care withheld or withdrawn.
Sue from El Paso
Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.
Sue, You, Holly, and I all seem to be in Texas but the advise is good no matter what. I understand the process a lot better now.
Thanks, y’all.
I don’t know if it’s done the same way all over Texas, but at our hospital, once the family decides to donate, Lifegift (the organ people) pick up the tab from the moment brain death was declared. This is good, because it costs thousands of dollars between the time of death and the time the donor goes to the OR.
As for tying up an ICU bed, we’re more than happy to give that bed to an organ donor. A donor requires a one-on-one nurse, and I always feel honored to get that job.
I didn’t realize that. I thought that financial responsibility ended when consent was obtained. But I’ll admit that working in a military hospital, and not directly with trauma (I’m an Internist & Endocrinologist) leaves me probably less informed about this than you are.
Thanks for clarifying that.
Organ donation has certianly come a long way. There are states that now PAY a fee ($300.- $3,000.) towards the burial/funeral bill to the person’s family that allows it.
(Pa. http://www.life-101.org/penn.htm
Vir. & see : Hawaii http://members.cyberz.net/mikelinka/Paying-For-Organs.htm
“Does love have a limit? Neither does forgiveness”
Handy, I * would * donate my extra kidney, or part of my liver while I was alive, should someone I know need it.
If your mother or brother or best friend needed it, I certainly hope you would find it in your heart to donate one of your extra kidneys rather than subject them to a life of dialysis.
I am an organ donor. They can take anything and everything they want. I’ve never known anyone personally who needed an organ, so I don’t know why I feel so passionately about this issue, but people who refuse to be donors for any reason other than religious beliefs totally and completely piss me off to no end. I hope that anyone who refuses to be a donor will also refuse to accept an organ if they are ever in need. IMO, if you are not willing to give an organ that you are no longer using to someone, then you don’t deserve to recieve one either.
I realise that my views are very harsh. Too bad. I think that refusing to donate an organ because you are squeemish (trust me, you won’t be when your dead) or because you want a nice looking body at the funeral is the epitome of arrogance and selfishness.
“I should not take bribes and Minister Bal Bahadur KC should not do so either. But if clerks take a bribe of Rs 50-60 after a hard day’s work, it is not an issue.” ----Krishna Prasad Bhattarai, Current Prime Minister of Nepal
And unless you’re lying in your casket naked, or you have some pathologically morbid family members, no one will be able to tell by looking at you that you’ve donated organs.
I agree with the above posters who say that organ donation allows part of the person to live on. I just dealt with this issue - a cousin of mine recently had a heart attack and died. Very traumatic for the whole family, as he was only 32 or so. His mother was very happy at the thought of his organs being donated, because she could then think of part of him as still living, and helping someone else. My mother says the same thing - when my sister was killed in a car accident at age 22, something happened where she couldn’t donate any organs (too badly mangled or it had been too long, something like that.) My parents still maintain that it would have been a little glimmer of good in a whole bucket of bad to have been able to have donated her organs.
Since the subject has come up, I’ve wondered about what religions forbid organ donation, and why.
Forgive me if this is totally wrong, but I seem to recall that Jews are forbidden to donate. Is this true, or am I confusing Judaism with something else?
I also read recently that Japanese culture considers organ donation taboo. Is this a religious taboo?
I, too, am a doner. My mother’s kidney trasplant 10 years ago (she’s doing great btw) brought me around.
In, fact, I’m rather militant about the subject. I think any living person has greater rights to organs than dead people.
It’s not easy any way you look at it, but I think it’s a crime that organs of dead people go wasted every day, when living people can use them.
I think we are ass-backwards on the issue… if you DONT want to give up your organs, you should have a little sticker on your drivers license.
Majormd:
3. I knew person Y who was hurt, and because of organ donation, his family had to have a closed casket funeral. Organs are removed surgically, and with every effort to respect the body of donor. If a closed caption funeral must be held, it would because of the trauma the caused the death, not the organ donation that followed.
If nobody at the funeral is deaf, close captioning is a waste of time and money. 
**Back to serious: another misunderstood donation is blood donation. If you are negative on the disqualifications, please donate. **
If you happen to be O negative (like me), you’ll never feel so popular because the blood banks will call you about every 8 weeks.
I’ve donated more that 2 gallons, and I only feel slightly dizzy.
Everybody got to elevate from the norm - Rush
A friend of mine is (was?) Mormon. She has a strange genetic disease that the NIH wanted to study. As part of it, samples of the strange growths caused by it were collected. Some uppity-ups at the LDS told her she’d either be incomplete in Heaven or wouldn’t get it because of the samples.
Everybody got to elevate from the norm - Rush
handy, you’re remark about donating organs while alive was foolish. I suppose that if a close friend or relative needed one right now, and we were a match, I would consider it. But to randomly donate one would be a waste of time.
When you’re dead, however, why would you care what’s going to happen to your body? It’s going to rot and decay sooner or later; what difference does it make if a team of surgeons chop it up for useful parts? You won’t know the difference. Once I’m dead, I’m done with my body; do whatever you want with it.
I knew a man who thought that becoming a organ donor meant that you were automatically made a DNR (do not resusitate). I hate to speak ill of the dead (he passed away last year), but the man was an idiot.