All I have to say is parfait 
Likewise, it gave her a scare
When I first tried to kiss her “down there.”
But soon she gave in
And now it has been
A week since I’ve come up for air!
(this one was supposed to appear ABOVE that one)
My girlfriend’s a delectable peach
But certain things I had to teach:
“No, sweetheart, no…
You don’t really blow…
That’s only a figure of speech!”
I went up to South Caroliner,
for some rest on a recliner.
Mouthbreathers I saw
they were chewing their chaw
and eating biscuts at the diner
Myrtle Beach is quite the town
they’ve torn most their trees down
and replaced them with theme parks
Dolly’s dixie stampede for larks,
I went through with a perpetual frown.
There once was a little seaside town
That, if you let it, could get you down.
The sand there is itchy,
The sights are all kitschy,
But hey-- life’s a beach! (and then you drown)
Hello to aim’n’rock.
(also see “facts” in General Questions)
Peace,
TN*hippie
There onc was a thread 'bout new limericks
Begun by a Tennessee beatnick
He said with much glee
“Do, come sit on my knee,
We’ll dally with with rhythm and tantric”
And then, there’s a function called “preview”
Disregard of which is a no-no
Before you reply,
You must dot every “i”
Or the grammar nazi’s will flame you.
Today at my job I was bored
And I thought of the Straight Dope Board;
So I wrote this rhyme
Just to pass the time
And ignored the work I abhorred.
You hear dissonant chords if you strain
from the yet distant evening train.
Next the rails will hum
with a quickening thrum
the melodious clanking refrain.
The rumble grows ever more clear
as three engines pull scores of cars near
till the glorious roar
thunders by the front door
with the caboose clanging by in the rear.
As the hinter car pulls out of sight
the sounds fade away in the night.
The late freight has flown
and its last whistle blown
till the next train arrives at first light.