My nominees for the category of otherwise good songs ruined by one small artistic misstep:
Guided by Voices “I am a Scientist”
Great vocal melody, intriguing lyrics, and a driving rhythm section ruined by domr of the most inept and out-of-place guitar playing ever. A least these guys maintained their indie cred by not making this a hit.
Michael Jackson “Billie Jean”
I guess the lyric is supposed to be “She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son,” but he is clearly singing “She says I am the one, but the chid is not my son.” Now what the fuck a “chid” is I have no idea, but this grates on my nerves to no end.
Simon and Garfunkel “Dangling Conversation”
Admittedly, this song is a wee bit pretentious, but even worse is that it sounds like a chimp snuck into the studio and banged a cymbal on every single beat. I can just see him there clanging away in his bellhop uniform. Did no one in the control room notice how unmusical this is?
Other nominees?
I always thought the flute solo kinda ruined The Troggs’ Wild Thing.
Also, the Beck song Novacane is really enjoyable until he mixes in that awful distortion so loud that I have to rip my headphones off. I’m sure that was his point, but still…
The song Electronaut by VNV Nation is awesome, but near the end, there is a synth line that is accompanied by the most annoying high pitched squeal. It feels like it’s cutting into my eardrum for god’s sake - the human equivalent of a dog whistle.
Pink Floyd’s Time would be FAR more listenable without those goddam chimes and alarms and crap going off in the beginning. In fact, I can’t listen to Dark Side of the Moon anymore because of that and crap like it.
This is going back, back the Carpenters’ soft, melodic song “Goodbye to Love” has a totally incongruous fuzz guitar solo in the middle. Richard Carpenter defends it here:
The guitar solo in the Golden Earring’s When the lady smiles is one of the most unimaginative and dull 20 second stretches in music history. Decent track apart from that.
I agree with Neurtok. Time by Floyd is an amazing tune and I always feel guilty when i fast forward past the chimes. Those are some haunting fricking lyrics but the chimes the chimes!
I’ve been listening to quite a bit of obscure Japanese pop music, and a lot of it would be 100% better if the singer used a voice that actually sounds like they made it past puberty! In this case, I’ve heard the singer use her normal voice before, and it sound INFINTELY better than this… falsetto. Completely ruined so much for me.
I’ve been looking everywhere for the version of Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” without that weird, electronica, techno interlude in the middle. I love the song, but not that weird part.
I was in a car once and somebody got so fed up with that he ejected the tape and tossed it out the window. It was more of a last straw for the whole album.
But I like the donkey noises. It’s not as if that album goes off the rails at the end… it loses the plot in the first five seconds and never looks back! I have to hear it right now.
“Tangled up in blue”, a cover version by the Indigo Girls is a great song, but after 2 or 3 verses the whole song changes to a blues for a verse or two and then changes back to the original folk. I have nothing against blues, but it’s just not my kind of music … so I always fast forward that part.
Much of The Charlatan’s early work is hurt by bad keyboard instrumentals. Sometimes they work, mostly the don’t – Chewing Gum Weekend (on Between 10th and 11th) is a case in point.
Otherside by the Red Hot Chili Peppers makes me switch the station whenever I hear it coming. It’s all about the chorous:
*How long, how long will it slide
Seperate my side
I don’ * (no “t,” rhymes with “bone”) I don’ believe it’s bad
Slitting my throat is all I ever …
“Ever…” Ever what? There’s only one way to end that sentence sensibly and make it rhyme - “ever had.” Is that so hard? “Had.” Say the damn word.
Their By the Way has another stupid trick like that, but they take the last word out of the thought (and render it meaningless) with the result rhyming.