Our kitty is sick and we're not sure what to do

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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We lost one of our two Singapuras earlier this year. Now the other one is very sick. He just turned 14 last month, and when he started losing weight, we took him to the vet. Turns out, aside from the heart issues he already had (heart murmur that’s getting worse), he’s got high-grade lymphoma. We took him in to the oncologist last week and she gave him an Elspar treatment, but now he’s not eating or drinking. We got the test results back today verifying that it’s lymphoma.

She offered us three options: a very expensive treatment that would require us to take him in once a week, a less expensive (and less effective) treatment every three weeks, or we can let him go. The expensive treatment has components (steroids) that we can’t give him because of his heart, and we also have 5 other cats to think about and a fairly significant financial change after the first of the year (I’m trying to make a go at being a full-time writer, so my income will drop). The less expensive treatment might or might not work, and she’s not sure whether an appetite stimulant will make him more interested in eating or drinking. We can’t just keep him comfortable with the steroid (that would have been option #4) because of his heart.

He’s so skinny, and seems so sad, though he’s not completely withdrawing. He likes to be near us, and he’ll follow us up and down the stairs so he can hang out with us. It’s not like our other Singapura, who was pretty much hiding at the end.

We’re honestly thinking the best choice is to let him go. There’s a chance the treatment will work, but for how long, and at what quality of life? We feel so guilty not giving him this chance, but we wonder if we’re doing it for us more than for him. The vet said if it were her choice, she’d try the treatment, but she can’t give us any guarantees that it will work. She assured us that there’s no wrong choice, though.

We love this little guy, and we’re both miserable thinking we are going to make the wrong choice. Also, the Thanksgiving holiday is coming up which means the vets won’t be open. If we have to let him go, we want it to be at our house surrounded by love, not on a cold table at some emergency vet’s office.

Does anyone have any thoughts, insights, or comforting words?

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From an old thread:

That was almost 8 years ago now, and I still regret that I didn’t have the mental fortitude to make the decision to put him down sooner. Our pets can’t tell us when they are ready with words; it’s up to us to make the decision; for better or worse, that’s the deal.

My condolences to you, your wife and your kitty, Infovore. Our time in this world is a wondrous thing, but sometimes there are bumps in the road.

One of the reasons I joined the Straight Dope Message Board was because it provided me with a place to memorialize another of my cats, Mao. So know that y’all aren’t alone in what you’re going thru; many here have had to make the same kind of tough choices. You’ll not hear me criticizing you no matter what you do. I hope the time y’all have together is wonderful.

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Thanks, Snowboarder Bo. That’s definitely the way we’re leaning, too. We know Ozzy doesn’t know about the future, only about the here and now. We want him to know nothing but love and peace, not pain.

Apropos of nothing, it’s me and the husband, not wife. :slight_smile:

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:smack:

I’m sorry for my error. I’m doing too many things at once, clearly, and conflated you with someone else.

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Absolutely right. For him, it will be easy; for you, very hard. I wish I had let my last animal go a bit sooner. I would apologize to her now if I could. But I know you are working hard at this decision, just as I did, and you’ll make it the best you can. I’m sorry about your kitty.

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Well, I’ve been through this several times, with dogs and cats, different diseases, usually kidney with the cats, but once a heart problem. Once lymphoma with a dog.

My two cents: if he seems comfortable now, and seems to get some enjoyment from life, take this time over the holiday and enjoy your time with him. Ask the vet if there is anything he would need to ensure his comfort, (pain meds, anti-nausea). Maybe try the appetite stimulant if it’s not too expensive. Then I would hang out with him for the next week or so, as long as he’s seeking time with you and seems himself. When he withdraws and seems miserable, then it’s time.

One note - if his need to be with you seems solely to be comfort seeking, then maybe it’s time. I had a cat who had kidney failure who did not crawl off and hide. He wanted to be held by me and he was clearly miserable. If your kitty is curled up and happy snoozing in your lap, enjoy your extra week or so. If your kitty is in your lap and can’t get comfortable and is crying, then it’s time.

I hope that helps.

{{{hugs}}} It is so hard to lose our pets. You have my heartfelt sympathy.

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He’s not crying. He seems kind of down, but not actively unhappy. In fact, he actually showed a little spunk this morning. He likes to get in the shower stall after the spouse takes his shower, so he can sit in the warm spot. This morning, he used his head to force the shower door open while the shower was going, wanting to get inside! He only stopped when he realized the water was still running.

We talked it over, and decided if he still wants to fight, we’ll fight with him. We’re going to take him in tomorrow for the treatment. The vet has assured us it won’t be painful, and there’s only a very small chance it could be harmful (if it drops his white cell count). Otherwise, it will either work or it won’t. If it works, we’ll keep going. if it doesn’t, then we’ll at least know we gave our boy a chance. She’s going to give him an appetite stimulant then too. Until then, we’ll keep syringing kitten food into him so he gets something to eat.

I just hope we can at least keep him happy over the holiday weekend. I really don’t want to have to say goodbye to him at a strange vet’s office (our normal vet will be closed).

8

My parents are in the exact same situation with their cat: high-grade lymphoma. The difference is their cat is only 8. They are going with an expensive weekly chemo that is supposed to maybe buy her 9 months maximum. Before that started, they were taking turns staying home from work because her chest kept filling up with fluid and affecting her breathing and they’d wind up at the emergency vet for a fluid tap every few days. But on chemo she’s doing pretty well, still cuddly and still eating. But they are watching her like a hawk for any signs that she is miserable or suffering and if that’s the case they will stop chemo and have her put down. It was worth going to the extreme because she’s relatively young for a cat and they can afford it, but they are under no illusions as to the prognosis and just want her to have a few more good months. If she’s not enjoying life, there’s no point.

It’s a horrible position to be in. Your cat is 14, not 8. I think it’s always better to do it a bit too soon than a bit too late. If he’s not eating or drinking, that’s not a good sign at all. Cats are very good at hiding and faking things until they suddenly crash, so I would be suspicious that he’s feeling worse than he’s showing you.

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My sympathies. We’ve gone through a similar situation and knowing when it’s time to stop is difficult. But it is sometimes the right thing to do and you’re not giving up for making the call.

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(well, damn. I wrote something out and the stupid squirrels ate it. I hope I can remember everything I said.)

Ozymandias C. Nosewuffle, 10/31/02 - 11/22/16

We took him in for what we thought would be his first chemo treatment yesterday–we figured we’d see if it looked like it would work and go from there. But the vet called back shortly after we dropped him off, saying his temperature was “scary low” and she suspected he was in kidney failure. She wanted to do another blood test, and when the results came back, it was confirmed - there wasn’t anything else they could do at this point, except for “heroic” stuff like blood transfusions that would still only be temporary.

We didn’t want to put our boy through that. It was time. I called the spouse and we both hurried over to the office. They brought Ozzy out in a blanket and put him on the table, covering him with this neat electric heater thing that blew hot air into an inflatable comforter. He snuggled there looking rather smug and pleased with himself (“Look, Mom and Dad! I’m not cold!”). He looked comfortable, not in pain or distress.

We stayed with him for a while, hugging him and telling him what a good cat he was, and how he didn’t have to fight anymore. Then we called the vet in.

The process was so peaceful. No struggling, no discomfort…as we held him and stroked him, it was literally like he’d just dropped off to sleep. One second he was there, and the next he was gone.

Afterward, she left us with him for a while. I picked him up in the blanket and held him close, and we cried over him a little before gently laying him back on the table and covering him up. He looked like he was sleeping.

We loved that little guy. Last night, it was hard to go to sleep without him, since he usually liked to snuggle up to us, poking and prodding one or the other of us until we got into the “Ozzy position” for his optimum comfort. Pushy little guy. The other cats were there, but there was still an Ozzy-sized hole on the bed. At the beginning of this year, we had two wonderful Singapuras. Now we have none. I seriously want to turn 2016 in for a refund.

Goodbye, Ozz-Paws, Baby Guy, Nutro-Burning Funny Kitten. We’ll never forget you.

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So sorry to hear. It’s so hard to let go. You did what you could. We miss our little friends so much because they made us better people. RIP Ozzy.

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Run free, Ozzy. I’m so sorry for your loss.

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(I hate seeing sick animal threads bumped up to the front page for exactly this reason.)

I am keenly aware of how hard the loss of a family member can hit you, regardless of minor details like species.

I try to tell myself that it is better to have known an amazing, loving companion than not to have known them at all. The pain feels like a high price to pay right now, but look at all you got out of the relationship – so many great moments for both you and your companion.

May you all find peace.

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Damn, I am very sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. I think Snowborder Bo was right when saying they let us know when it’s time.

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Sorry, don’t know where my head is, I mean Snowborder Bo was right, we need to make the choice for them sometimes. Sorry about the mixup, I agree with Snowborder Bo.

16

So sorry, I know how hard it is, even when you know it is the right thing to do. I seem to have something in my eye…

17

I am so sorry for your loss.

18

Oh crap. Infovore, my heart goes out to you. I’ve had to put cats down before and am currently trying to save a relationship with a wonderful cat. Sounds like you did the best thing possible. I’m sitting eating lunch in a machine shop, fighting back tears. :frowning:

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I am so sorry. I am going to cry with you now also.

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I’m sorry that it came to that, Infovore. But I’m so glad that you and your husband had a chance to know and love Ozzy, and that he was privileged enough to somehow end up with y’all as his humans. I know the grief is still strong, but everyone’s lives were better than they might have been because y’all had each other.

Amen to that.