Show her you really love her with the gift that’s rarer than the finest star-cut diamonds, and ephemeral as a fragile blossom. Helicopter-collected whale snot.
However, Acevedo-Whitehouse refused to comment when questioned about the disturbing number of grey whales spotted recently with tiny robot helicopters embedded in their faces.
Clearly flustered by these allegations, the researcher reached into her handbag and sprayed the assembled reporters with a can of whale sputum; then activated the robot helicopter concealed in her umbrella and took to the air, cackling madly as she fled the scene.
Meanwhile, the Japanese Institute for Cetacean Research has enthusiastically embraced this new non-intrusive technology in their whale studies, deploying remote helicopters to more efficiently direct their explosive sampling harpoons, and evaluating entire whale populations from a distance for tenderness and flavor.
So what do you figure would be the going price for a gram of whale snot?
Figure you have to get a sea going vessel with full crew, a radio helicopter pilot, a couple of radio helicopters, a lot of petri dishes, and several days if not weeks of collection time including fuel, food costs, potential repairs, etc.
That must be some pretty massive snot, given that there’s basically a big fan (the rotor blades) blowing directly down and and away from the collection dishes.