It’s time to go Digital!
You forgot the emergency blow up doll.
The bed in the apartment I rented as a grad student had a bookcase in the headboard. That’s the best bed feature I’ve ever had.
That’s the emergency bed air bag, you perv. It just looks like Betty Boop. 
Was it one of these?
https://www.ultimatesmartbed.com/
I do not have this. I have a lovely wood-frame 4-poster bed in what I think is an Art Deco style (although I could be wrong about that). It has no USB ports or power plugs or anything like that.
Cue mandatory joke about USB ports: John hated having to turn the bed over in order to plug the USB connector in.
I wonder how long it will be before USB ports become an expected feature for electrical wall outlets, and LED table lamps come with a USB plug. (Obviously microwaves & coffeemakers - high amp devices - will continue to need the current plug.)
Nope, just a high end tempur-pedic. no speakers. It does vibrate, but no massage chair. we didn’t opt for the one which would have monitored us and our sleep. Seemed too big brothery
Yeah. You’d hate it when the bed woke you up each day, saying “Good morning, Mr. Amor. Everything is going extremely well.”
I assumed the bed was shaped like a racecar.
Sure, a racecar that hold 4 people comfortably, you bet!