Our new bed has 8 USB ports. How many does yours have & what do you use them for?

The last bed the Mrs. and I bought for ourselves was purchased in 1995. It served us well, but was just worn out. So we did our research (well, the Mrs. did anyway) and we ended up with a king size Tempur-Pedic product. We waved off all the bells and whistles like the electronic monitors that checked how well we slept, how much we sweated, what the ambient humidity and temperature was, etc. But we did opt for the ability to raise the heads and/or feet of the bed. Seemed handy, with the challenges of old age now happening to us.

What neither of us had anticipated was the presence of 8 USB ports on the damn thing. We had expected zero, or rather never considered they’d be on there in the first place. Yeah, I know, we’re old. There are 2 each on each side, and 4 in the middle, where they’re accessible via the small mattress separation.

The bed doesn’t seem wi fi capable at this point, for which I’m grateful. It appears to just have the USBs as convenient places for us to plug in and operate/ recharge our bed-intensive devices. We immediately thought of phones, iPad, iPod, kindles, etc.

But now we’re told that there’s a wealth of special equipment that’s handy in bed AND has a USB port. We were directed to websites to several of these, and they do seem to focus on what we called “marital aids” back in the 70’s. Well, that was an eye opener. And got us thinking along different lines . . .

Anyway, how many USB ports does your bed have? And what do you plug into them?

Ours doesn’t have any, but I installed a power strip on the bedframe that includes four USB charging ports. I use them to power homemade LED nightlights, one under each corner of the bed. they light up the floor under the bed just enough so you can find your way back after visiting the bathroom during the night, with very little light actually making it up to your eyeballs when you’re lying in bed and trying to sleep.

Oh, Man. You are just going to thrive in retirement :slight_smile:

[answer: none. Our bed was made by the Amish]

None on the bed, but both end tables have 2 and the lamps each have one. I use the lamp port to plug in my AppleWatch charger.

I bought my bed in the 1970s at The Antique Guild. It was one of what they called their Reissues, which were reproductions. It’s a mahogany veneer sleigh bed and is not that many years from being an actual antique, but, no, it has no technological abilities whatsoever.

We have LED reading lamps installed on the corner posts of our bed. Each has a single USB port that we use for charging our phones.

I keep my phone in the living room at night, so notifications won’t disturb me.

The only marital aid I know that needs to be plugged in during use is made by Hitachi. It requires a little more power than a USB port provides.

I have a bluetooth speaker that I plug in. I like my naps to be a little more spa like, with music and low lights. It helps me from falling too deep into sleep,

When it comes to USB ports - as distinct from things you plug into regular sockets, in order to charge devices etc etc - we don’t have any in the house, let alone in the bed. There’s one in the car, but no easy way of getting the car into the bedroom.


Our current bed frame dates from 2003 or 2004. We were dirt poor newlyweds and bought it on a payment plan from a local shady furniture store. It’s pretty fugly but it’s solid and will probably survive to see the next millennium. The closest thing it has to modern technology is stainless steel hardware. :slight_smile:

Our mattress and box spring is from 2008 and is getting a bit long in the tooth but I’m too cheap to buy a new one just yet. It’s memory foam so that stuff is itself probably the most technologically advanced stuff in it.

I’m definitely a luddite and the idea of a wifi-enabled mattress – or frame, for that matter – with sleep sensors and atmosphere monitoring and similar rubbish triggers a full-body eyeroll.

And the idea of a wifi-enabled… ahem… “marital aid” just creeps me out. Wtf would it be monitoring?? What kind of data would it need to collect??? I probably don’t want to know.

And frankly at this stage in our life the best marital aid in the world would be a weekly housekeeper / cook and maybe some season tickets to the Oregon Ballet Theater.

Apparently there’s a burgeoning field of technology known as “Tele-dildonics”.

And how glad I am that I’m not surfing the Dope at work today…

Hey, that’s a work-safe wiki page without pics! It acknowledges that sex and sex toys exist but I don’t see any big danger there. Unless I’m missing something?

No, but I’m a) a teacher at a boarding school that includes minors and b) is ran by the federal government. If that showed up on my browsing history there would be, at minimum, some very pointed questions presented to me sooner rather than later.

But I’m home sick today so all is well.

OK, you can’t be too careful in that job. I guess I’ll have to up the bar for screening out general links like that. Frankly, some of my legit medical site cites would probably set off flags for stringent monitoring systems.

I don’t think bed mounted USB ports are really intended for sex toys. Aren’t those usually battery powered? They’re just there for charging stuff. Or possibly I’m hopelessly naive as well.


But I have chargers nearby, one for an amber light lamp. I can recharge phones, e-readers, and other devices there as well.

Did you check out my (apparently less than safe for work) teledildonic wiki link? Seems like things are getting real interactive out in cyberspace.

New mattress; none; there’s a surge strip to use if I’m worried about the battery discharging before my alarm goes off (which I’m not).

Hmmm, I wonder about advancements in AI, machine learning, and (ahem) big data? I’m guessing it would take some time to provide an adequate sample size for the machine learning.