Outtakes of children's performers behaving naughtily

Cafe Society
1

It can be funny to see blooper reels of children’s shows, or at least children’s performers, where the performers flub a take and then behave in ways that would be inappropriate for their typical target audience.

For example, here are Ricky Gervais and Elmo from Sesame Street cracking jokes about drugs, child abuse, the Holocaust, and necrophilia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kr9_5uZn6ds

And here’s a blooper reel for the 1980s children’s show Zoobilee Zoo that contains many instances of hilarious profanity and off-colour jokes. Incredibly, the performers tend to stay in character throughout.

Some choice bits:

Lookout Bear (as a policeman): I’m giving you a ticket for saying bad things in public about others—namely, me! Have a nice day!

Bravo Fox: I don’t believe this! A ticket? What does yours say?

Van Go Lion: You believe this one? Yours says you’re fat.

Bravo Fox: Oh, and look at this. “Public indecency.”

Van Go Lion: It’s OK; it’s only five dollars.

Bravo Fox: That dickhead!

Lookout Bear: OK, you’re asking for it now! That’s Mister Dickhead to you, pal! (He hands Lookout Fox another ticket.)

Bravo Fox: Good Prince Lookout?

Lookout Bear: What?

Bravo Fox: This is my daughter, Whazzelda. (He presents to him Whazzat Kangaroo.) You want a blowjob?

Lookout Bear: How much?

Bravo Fox: You heard my jokes!

Lookout Bear and Talkatoo Cockatoo: This is true!

(The actor playing Bravo Fox misses his cue and forgets his line.)

Lookout Bear (whispering to Bravo Fox): “I got a good one…”

Bravo Fox (to Lookout Bear, indignantly): Fuck you.

Lookout Bear: You guys wanna go get a drink tonight?

Talkatoo Cockatoo: Yeah, I’ll have a drink tonight. What could I drink?

Lookout Bear: I don’t know. I like double martinis, two olives.

Bravo Fox: Yeah, I think I’m just gonna bag the old lady tonight. See ya!

Anyone got any more good ones?

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OK, background: Blue Peter (named after the flag) was (and is?) the BBC flagship children’s program, and historically was rather Reithian in outlook - that is to say that it saw its role as being to inform, educate and (thirdly) entertain. So it took itself rather seriously. Some of the presenters less so, like Simon Groom. Two clips - apologies about the annoying voiceover on the first, I couldn’t find a version without it.

#1 - about the door knockers of Durham cathedral. If you don’t know the Britishism, knockers = breasts

#2 about laying hedges

j

3

There’s always this little classic about…uh…“plucking twangers”: https://youtu.be/CgbcQIT7BMc

Outside of bloopers or intentionally risqué takes, wasn’t there a cheerful children’s Youtube star who was found to have created a rather nasty scatalogical video?

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I could not stand that damn music in #1 so did not make it past the 2nd “incident”. The music was too loud in addition to being annoying and unnecessary.

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Sorry 'bout that; but the Blue Peter incident was first up on that tape anyway. People seem to go out of their way to ruin these little gems - like I said, there was no need to add the damn voiceover, it adds nothing at all and just serves to irritate.

j.

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That would be Stevin John, a.k.a. Blippi, though the scatological video was created before he became a children’s entertainer. And there will never be a Blippi blooper reel, ever. When Blippi makes a mistake during filming, no matter how egregious—even damaging to the education of his young viewers—he keeps the camera rolling, and doesn’t even bother to edit it out in post-production. (In fact, post-production usually adds in a few more mistakes of their own.) The show is so incredibly amateur and low-budget that I doubt they are even aware of the mistakes.

7

Cookie Monster vs. Martha Stewart. It’s a shame I can’t find the entire clip. This is the second section. In the first part he was running wild on the set. When they came back from commercial, he was tied up.

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Here’s a classic. New Zoo Review gave us this outtake.

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10

That’s absolutely brilliant!

Martha Stewart: Oh, you’re choking yourself, Cookie!

Cookie Monster: Me no care. Me no feel pain. Cookies like novocaine.

I remember now that there’s another Cookie Monster outtake reel, this one with John Oliver. He doesn’t say anything obscene or risqué, though he does act very much like a diva.

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Beloved Brazilian children’s show hostess Xuxa was so popular in Latin America that her show even got a U.S. version. That came to a premature end in 1993 when it came out that Xuxa had a parallel career with somewhat more adult-oriented material (I won’t link, but you can search for Xuxa and Playboy.) When it was discovered that early in her career she had been in a film where her character seduced a 12-year old boy, along with health problems, it derailed much of her international career. She later made a comeback in Brazil.

Whatever Xuxa did, however, was no match for the offscreen antics of the cast and crew of the proto-kids’ program, Howdy Doody.

As played by actress Judy Tyler, who would go on to star with Elvis Presley in ‘‘Jailhouse Rock’’ before being killed in a car wreck at age 23, the Princess symbolized purity and wholesomeness. Offstage, Tyler, who had married at 16, was-according to cast members, who remembered her with genuine fondness-famous for her foul mouth, her propensity for getting drunk and stripping on nightclub tables, and the cheerful way she dispensed sexual favors to the cast.

But Tyler was by no means the only Doodyville citizen to enjoy a good time, frequently at Howdy`s expense. Rehearsals for the show, in fact, were ribald affairs in which the cast and crew regularly put the puppets through pornographic paces (leading to some embarrassing moments when groups of kids happened to be touring the studio and wondered why the puppets were in such curious positions).

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You won’t find this one on YouTube, but I remember it because I saw it myself. Boston’s channel 56 had a children’s cartoon show hosted by Bunker Hill, a crusty old train station master (I assumed - it wasn’t that clear what sort of character he was supposed to be, but he wasn’t exactly brimming with personality).
One afternoon, during one of the cartoon segments, he was apparently having a tantrum in the studio, and some technician caught him on camera and sneaked a shot of his apoplectic face yelling silently and put it on the air for a minute in a small picture-in-picture for us kids to enjoy.

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That reminds me of what may have been a “Baywatch” parody with Xuxa as a swimming pool lifeguard. I have no idea if the clip can still be found anywhere but our heroine’s lifeguard outfit featured two floatation devices at chest height. She goes to rescue a guy, opens the valves on the floatation devices and the escaping air propels her jet-like to the other side of the pool.

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Eh, I could pull a better cartoon out of my ahh–heh heh Hey! Whoa, wasn’t that great, kids?