Overheard in a Bethlehem Barn

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

Happy Birthday!

Yeah, it’s more like bragging about the cold. Canadians enjoying nothing more than talking about how tough they are to live in this climate. And it’s an excuse to drink more hot tea and mulled wine and stuff. Also it gives me a good reason to eat stuff that bad for me- I have to put on a protective layer of insulation this time of the year.

Speaking of which, Mr. Lissar ate an entire half-pound bag of peanut M&Ms yesterday. No fair. I wanted some.

Work will be open late tonight. Everyone pray for me- retail and three days to Christmas.

And for any customers of mine reading this thread, I have no flurking idea what book you should buy for your stupid aunt who hates to read. Got it? Good.

82

Shoot Lissla that’s easy! Keep a couple blank journals under the counter and when somebody asks, hand em one and say, if she hates to read she’ll love this! :smiley: Or maybe not. That might get ya fired. Oh, just ignore me, I’ll get ya in trouble!

Puggy we were in my Blazer on Saturday. ACBG’s cooker was sitting on the right side and mine was on the left. When we got em back to my house, I unloaded his first and put the box on one table on the back porch, then I unloaded mine and put it on another table. When we (meaning mostly me) put em together, we (well, mostly me) put his together first then loaded it in his car, then we (me) put mine together and it’s still sitting on my back porch cause I ain’t made it to the storage building where it’s gonna live with it yet. Then we got nekkid and got in the hot tub. Ok, that had nothing to do with outdoor cookers but since Rue said I tell just everything about what I’m up to while not wearing pants, I thought I’d throw it in.

83

Subtlety? Jesus, my freakin’ birthdate is in my user name. Not that I put it there because I wanted people to know. It’s a remnant of the old AOL days, you know. But how subtle can I be when the birthday is emblazoned on every post I make?

It’s cold in my apartment. I can tell the sun is out, so it’s probably warmer out there than it is in here. Which is probably why I should get off my duff and go for a run.

84

Happy B-days, scout and taxi! One of my closest friends in elementary school shares your b-day - well, except she’s 52 this year, so probably old enough to be your mother, if she’d reproduced, which she didn’t…

I’m waiting for my sweetie to come home from his Dr appointment, and we’ll be on the road. That is, we will be once he finishes packing. I left work at 10, intending to go to the drive-thru car wash thingy near my work, but there was a line and I didn’t feel like sitting there half an hour or more, so I came home and washed the car myself. I had to thaw the hose first, tho. But I stretched it out, hearing the internal ice crackling all the while, then I turned the faucet on. I flexed it along its length a few times, and the water gushed forth, with some ice. Then I filled a bucket with warm soapy water, grabbed a rag and a step stool, and commenced to car-washin’! So our car is clean and it was free! Well, except for the cost of the electricity to run the well pump, but that hardly counts. And it’s cleaner that if I’d driven thru the crappy touchless carwash. So it’s all good!

Anyway, all that is to let you know that I may not be posting till next week. My inlaws have a slow dial-up connection, and I know I’ll be expected to be sociable and all that, so I can’t disappear into the computer room. sigh I will try to post to let ya know I arrived alive, if I can. Otherwise, don’t panic, don’t dispair, don’t fret, don’t wail and gnash your teeth or anything. I will be back. Promise. With pie, even!

Holiday hugs to one and all!

Is that mistletoe?!?!? MWAH!

85

I didn’t think you like girls in that way Swampy. But if you get her “in trouble” you’ll have to marry her. It’s the honorable thing to do.

Weather Update: It’s a White Wall of Winter Death out there folks! We could get somewhere between four and eight inches of the stuff before it’s all over. And me with a dentist appointment tomorrow. Me and Soupo both. How could I miss that kind of fun? Stupid weather.

But on the upside, the Little Woman is home from work now and on her Holiday Vacation. (Why did she have to go in today for just a coupla hours? Dunno, I’m askin’ you.) We’re all holed up in Rancho DeDay with plenty of hot cocoa, so we’re in good shape here.

86

OMG! I almost choked on my cheese, beef log (he!) and cracker. If I keep thinking about this I will not stop giggling all afternoon. I have very close, very dear relatives whose idea of a home upgrade was adding on to their trailer. They started about 10 years ago. They haven’t finished.

LOL!

87

Where do snowmen and snow-women go for a fancy dance?

The snow ball!

What’s the best side of the house to put a Christmas/Midwinter tree?

The inside.

Why does a cat in the desert remind you of Christmas?

Because she has Sandy Claws!

Where do snowmen and snow-women keep their money?

In a snow bank, of course! :smack:

I love my jokes. I have ever since I first heard them at the dawn of time.

88

Kalley, where’s the obligatory one about gay snowmen waiting for the snowblower?

Maybe I can out-oogie Swampie.

89

It seems it’s now time for an Exgineer Yammers On Incessantly About Something Really Stupid moment.

Put this in the Mundane Coincedences file.

A few days ago my girlfriend (herein after known as “Lori” so I don’t have to press so many keys) was involved in a conversation with a work associate about Mexican food (mostly perverted and wussified Tex-Mex around here) and which dishes they liked and how deceptively easy everything was to make (except tamales, tamales are a pain in the ass because I can’t seem to get that cornhusk wrapper right) and how there are other appetizers besides salsa picante and corn flour chips and whatnot, when said associate made a comment about a “quesadilla maker.”

Lori* pointed that comment out to me as being something a bit off, because we have no idea what a “quesadilla maker” is. Frankly, if you’d asked me before today what sort of hardware I’d need to make a quesadilla I’d have said “a cast-iron skillet and a pot lid,” but it turns out I was wrong.

This is where the coinkydink comes in.

We met a mutual friend after work because it’s his birthday (just like scout) and we needed to toast the 42nd annivesrary of his birth. We bought him a couple of beers (we’re old) and he gave us a Christmas present, even though he’s a Buddist. Which sucks, because now I have to go shopping on Christmas Eve to get something for Bob the Buddist for Christmas, even though he’s a Buddist, just because he got us something. Bastard.

But I digress. Our Christmas presents were lovely. Really. The small one was a boxed set of two different Tabasco® “sauces.” I got interested right off the bat, because I think Original Tabasco® is kind of anemic, and I was hoping for a habanero version. What we got was Original Tobasco® and Green Tobasco®, which is milder than the original mild stuff. Crap. Anyway, we also got the apparent Holy Grail of Americanized Tex-Mex cooking apparatus: an electric quesadilla maker (didn’t think I’d ever get back to the coincidence, did you? I’m just that damned good). We rushed, rushed I say, home to see what makes the electric quesadilla maker superior to a cast-iron skillet and pot lid, and let me tell you, it’s a miracle of simplicity.

It’s a waffle iron.

I’m serious. Instead of the grid pattern they put in this pizza-like circular slice pattern and I guess what your are supposed to do is shove in the tortillas and the cheese and whatnot and then just close the thing, and then just tip out the quesadilla slices when the light goes off. I’m appalled. On the other hand, the handle is shaped like a chile pepper, so that makes it cool. Actually it doesn’t, but I need you guys to work with me here.

I’m also being yelled at because I’m supposed to be helping with the wrapping of the presents. Quick, gimme an excuse. Help me appease her.

Maybe I could make some triangular waffles.

*Also known as Angel Pants The First

90

Sink me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think that’ll do it.

91

You probably can’t tell, Ex, but I’m laughing and pointing at you right now. A quesadilla maker?! And with a chile handle, tsk, tsk.

Happy birthday to scout and taxi! And sorry, scout, I bought all the Hunter S. Thompson books, but there might be a couple of historical romance novels I missed.

Hey! Who put the box of my very favorite crackers way up on the top shelf where I can’t reach them without getting the step ladder? How rude!

Lemmee guess swampy, the sugar frosted buttless chaps party came after, which was why you had to be nekkid in the hot tub, right? Hygeine!

Like FCMom, I am hitting the road, only tomorrow, and I hired somebody to wash my car (turns out I own a black car) and I’m going to Tucson and by myself, not with my husband (though I’ll entertain offers), and I’ll be visiting with my mom and aunts and uncles and cousins, not in-laws, and I can use the computer whenever because my mom just naps in front of the tv all the time. But other than that, I’m just like her, so I’m one of the cool kids. No, really!

92

The journal idea is good. I may use it tomorrow.

A quesadilla maker? That tops the hot dog cooker my aunt tried to give us a few years ago.

We’re supposed to get 12 inches of snow tonight. If it’s nice and above -10 tomorrow I might build snow forts with a friend tomorrow morning, but it’s supposed to be freezing rain.

I’m really, really tired. I’m not sure if I have the energy to eat dinner. And I don’t want to sell The Da Vinci Code to anyone else. Tomorrow is the end of my 7-days-out-of-8 working stretch. Anyone want to lend me some energy?

93

If it’s any consolation (or motivation, or any of those -tions, I can’t think right now), I am working straight through from three days ago to New Year’s Eve, including Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and early evening New Year’s Eve. (Gotta keep people entertained!). I’ll spend the New Year sleeping in, and woe betide anyone who tries to wake me before 8 am on New Year’s Day!

You (collectively) have been warned… :stuck_out_tongue:

94

Well, I’m on the road tomorrow (which is today when you’re reading this, and technically today as I write this because it’s after midnight, but I prefer to count days by sunrises and sunsets, which kinda leaves nighttime as no time, since it’s after sunset but before sunrise, so it’s just now now, but when you read this it will be then). I’m driving down to meet the two cutest babies that were ever born, those darling little twins Garrett and Marielle, with twenty little baby toes between them. I’m thinking the pile of presents under Mom’s tree will dwarf the tree–my family kinda shows affection with hugs, but kinda a lot more with gifts. We have a well developed shopping gene, so nothing makes us happier than shopping for presents and to do that you need people to give gifts to and family is handy for that. So when someone has done something really great for the family, like having babies, or has gone through something really bad, like two surgeries in three months, we show our emotional response with gaily wrapped packages. And because we also have a rather well developed sense of fair play, we don’t like to give anybody lots more gaily wrapped packages than we’ve given someone else, so we gets lots for everybody, except a little more for some. It’s fairly ridiculous, but it works for us.

So Merry Midwinter one and all, and I hope you all get great emotional responses from those in your life you love. Or at least a top of the line quesadilla maker and some extra, extra hot hot sauce.

95

Well, here I was full of self-pity (the only kind that counts), and screech beats me. I am working today, tomorrow, and all 5 days next week, because I was assigned to a proposal. Go ahead, make proposal jokes.

(The best one was made during my dissertation days, when a fellow student said that writing a dissertation was like dating: you look around at what is available, then you narrow it down to what is possible, and if everything goes right, you end up with a proposal.)

And I’m the only one from my company working on this one. I will be the only one at work tomorrow, Monday, and next Friday, and one of only a handful in the middle of the week.

And I put my vacation off because I was planning to take next week off, while everything was quiet, so I am desperately in need of a BREAK!

Now I am going to go scan the skies for the karmic doom undoubtedly heading my way for complaining. Just watch, I’ll get a break by ending up in the hospital or something.

Eeyore, move over. Bah, humbug. I had just better be getting that extended Lord of the Rings DVD for Christmas.

On the plus side, not that there is a plus side if I want the pity I deserve, I have some great things to give for Christmas. I love the anticipation of knowing people are going to be really, really happy at unexpected surprises.

96

Okay, merrily and screech-owl win. They deserve way more pity than me.

I think I will have Coke for breakfast. Maybe with toast.

Today will be giftwrapping day, because tomorrow we’re going to Mr. Lissar’s godmum’s with Quasi-Daughter and Driving Husband, and they’ll want their presents, the greedy twits. Of course, I’ll want mine, too.

Freezing rain. Looks like snow-forting is out.

Sorry this is so discombobulated. I’m tired.

97

Hey Rue, are you buried under all of that snow? And it looks like it’s going to be too damned cold to go out and enjoy it. Low on Christmas Eve about -11 F? That sucks. Let us know when you thaw out.

98

ex, ya gotta give the green Tobasco a chance. No, it’s not hotter but it has a mucho bettero flavor. I got hooked on it after a coworker introduced it to me. It goes great on top of alla yer mexican recipes and you can really slather it without burning your tongue right outta your head. Try it and get back to me. :slight_smile:

I didn’t get as much done yesterday as I warnted to because The Princess[sup]TM[/sup] kidnapped me and took me to the movies. We saw that Lemony Snicket(somethin, somethin) A series of unfortunate events with Jim Carey. There is an absolutely adorable little baby girl in it. I liked it even though the sets were very dark and I nearly froze to death in the theater.

I want to wish alla my friends here a safe and happy holiday. I’m gonna be checkin up on alla you so make sure you stay safe and happy. Well, gotta go turn on the oven cleaner.

Tupug

99

Hey y’all! I’m so happy - made it safely to my parents’ house (even got on the flight before mine - that’s what ya get for getting to the airport early). Mom and I are going to wander town a bit in a little while, but for now I get to play with my Christmas gift to myself - the very computer I am typing this on. It’s purty! And so exciting. Can’t wait to see what this baby can really do…
Susan

100

This gives me a BRILLIANT idea. The Thompson book would have been for The Boy. But I think when I’m at the grocery store I’ll also pick up a romance novel and wrap it up for him. When he opens it up and looks puzzled, I’ll say “well, it was supposed to be something by Hunter S. Thompson. But Ashes bought all of those, and this was all that was left”.

Heh.