Up on the Mountaintop, Kill, Kill, KILL!! (PG-13)

The fire consumes the last of the sleigh. When it goes out, there’ll be trouble…

It’s really too bad the trouble didn’t happen at the start of the run. A quick rummage in the sack, a call on one of the satellite phones with his position pinpointed with one of the GPS units and there’d be a snug little campsite with a nice cup of cappuccino while he waited for pick-up. The whole thing wouldn’t put the schedule more than a couple hours off. Heck, some of those runs when he was younger were way farther off than that towards the end and that was with fewer stops and no problems with the sleigh. Or the team. Plus little Kyle Schumway’s first deer rifle wasn’t more than a third of the way down in the sack. Little Kyle Schumway’s first deer rifle would have come in awfully handy tonight.

But of course it all went wrong on the way back. At least the kids won’t be disappointed. This year anyway. By the way things look, next year won’t be his problem. Someone else will step up to claim the Suit. Someone always does. No matter what, the Show goes on.

The storm blew up out of nowhere. Usually there’s plenty of warning. The weather boys know their craft and don’t make mistakes. But come to think of it, Blinko wasn’t there for Takeoff with the updated charts. Blinko’s always there with the last minute updates. But things are always hectic and you can miss things. Couldn’t get over this storm, not even with the load delivered. Couldn’t go around it, it was a real monster. Turn and run and hope for the best, find the edge and skirt north and just get home, that was the plan. No one ever said you have to be home by morning, it’s not really a rule, but it’s the Way Things are Done. Maybe laying up in the Caribbean for a day or two would have been the way to go. “Reindeer? No mon, they’s goats mon.” That would have worked easy. Too late now.

Just like it was too late when the mountain rose up out of the storm. Too late to swerve. Too late to dodge. Too late to climb. The only thing there was time for was the crash.

And what a crash it was. Dasher, Dancer and Prancer never knew what him 'em. Vixen went down with two broken legs. Comet probably would have been flying again in a week or two, and Cupid was just dazed, but with Cupid it can be hard to tell. Blitzen was the real mystery. Nowhere to be found and the traces were snapped. All the leather work is brand new for the Ride and the boys in the workshop know their business. It shouldn’t have snapped. It couldn’t have snapped. It could have been chewed through, though.

First thing was to get Vixen warm. Comet and Cupid gathered up the bits of broken sleigh and luckily the Missus hadn’t badgered enough for the pipe to be given up. No more smoking during the Deliveries, that was the rule, but in the Sleigh was another matter, so the fire was easy to start. Dawn wasn’t too far off and if he wasn’t back by then the boys would head out looking. Being as far off course as they were when they went down the search could take awhile. Maybe a day or two. Not very comfortable, but survivable. It should have been survivable least ways.

Cupid was the first. He wandered off looking for more wood. It was horrible, hearing the screams. There weren’t any teeth marks, but the hooves and antlers could keep off a pack of hungry wolves. They were enough for a trusting friend. Comet wouldn’t believe and ran off to his doom. That came quick enough and by the time he got back to the fire Vixen was taken too. That left one lonely old man and the cold dark night.

The small fire finally sputtered out in a puff of steam. The cold closed in. And the dark. And the terror.

Donner was the only one to get back to the workshop later that night. He didn’t seem particularly phased by the whole ordeal. In fact it was almost as if he was at a party the whole time. Just one big Donner Party.
-Rue.

I saw Donner eating Santa Clause
Under-neath the Missile toe last night…

Swampy or FCMom, could you please put up on a public photo page the picture I sent you over the weekend about how to save money at Christmas? It’s oddly appropriate given Rue’s post today…

Such a long way to go for that final joke.

And amazingly, I didn’t see it coming. I must be tired.

Though, for the record, I did laugh my ass off.

Happy holidays, Rue!

Personally I’m glad Donner got back safe. He’s always been my favorite. I foresee next year’s Christmas blockbuster movie in the making. Quick, somebody go get Rue and get him out to Hollywood so they can start work on this. This kind of thing takes time to put together ya know.

VunderBob, notice the correct capitalization since it’s the beginning of a sentence and all cause good grammar is always in good taste, I can attempt to do this when I’m at home tonight, although FCM already has a public pictures page and could probably do it better. Either way, I’m cool. BTW, that picture’s been making the rounds since yesterday, when I checked my email.

NurseCarmen, <snerk> that was funny! <snerk>

Hope everyone’s turkey day was good. Mine was wunnerful. I’m hoarding one last piece of cheesecake til tonight.

I thought you had one already. If not, I’ll lean on her…
:wink:

My odd holiday weekend

Took the wife to the seafood buffet as previously threatened for Turkey day. Strangely enough, they were out of turkey when we got there, and I didn’t miss it at all.

Went to the grocery store Friday, and used the in-store ATM. It gave me an extra $20 (and I was receipted for the correct amount, BTW), and after I determined that the store runs the machine and there was no promotion going on, I turned it over to the manager. :smack:

I went to my model railroad club Saturday to help with an open house, which went well, and got home just in time to see a burglar leave the apartment above me. I got to spend Saturday evening at the Hampton PD playing identikit and looking at mugshots instead of watching the James Bondathon on Spike TV.

While at the club open house, some guy brought over an old display diorama he had, and gave it to the club. It sucked, and I figured it was like Charlie Browns’s Christmas tree. With a little TLC, it could be something nice, so I took it home to re-work. I spent an hour yesterday trying to takie it apart to work on it, and it was unsaveable. I took out the trestle and threw the rest away.

I normally only lurk in the MMP. (One of those you mentioned last week.) I’m only delurking to comment that you are one sick puppy. I groaned so loud the guy at the next desk asked if I was OK.

It sounds like Bumba and vunderbob would be good play mates. Maybe we should all encourage the wives to schedule a play date for em. Good on you vunderbob for returning the twenty and for being the good neighbor.

with all the snow over the holiday weekend, i’ve been thinking of the donner party. i was hoping someone on the news would vaguely reference it while showing people stuck in airports in that area.

Rue, was this brought on by the overstuffed feeling that Thanksgiving brings?

You are a good and honest person and I respect and admire you :slight_smile:

One time I found a box of cream of rice in the bottom of my shopping cart after putting all of my bags in the car. I checked my receipt and it wasn’t on there, so I took it back in the store. The cashier was so surprised that I would return something I hadn’t paid for, I was astonished. Returning stuff you haven’t paid for should be second nature and automatic.

Thank you for being such a good person!

That was horrible, Rue. Very good.

Anyone else sick of Christmas music yet? They were playing it in one store yesterday, and in fifteen minutes I never wanted to hear Christmas music again. Thank goodness we won’t start until the week before- and even then it’s carols and instrumental music, not “Last Christmas I gave you my heart/The very next day, you gave it away…”

Good one, rue!! Don’t show it to the kiddies, though, emkay?

Somehow a big bag of sweet taters wound up in my shopping for my dessert stuff. It wasn’t on my receipt, either, so I took it back in. The cashier said she remembered it wasn’t mine and the bag boy had just made a mistake. I wonder if it went into the cart of the next person in line?

Once’t I got some cash back when I used my debit card to pay for groceries. I think I asked for $20 and the cashier took it out of the five dollah drawer. I watched her count out the bills and then just stuffed it into my purse. It was a few days later before I needed cash and discovered that one of the fives was a FIFTY!!! :eek: Did a Reluctant Rita Miller imitation and did everything I could to check to see if anyone had reported losing the money or if the cashier was short. Lucky me, there were no reports so I got to keep the kesh. :slight_smile:

swampy, my marble punkin cheesecake was the hit of Thanksgiving dinner and I had to fight BarbeeDoll[sup]TM[/sup] for the last piece.

Mr. Anachi got all the Xmas lights up on Friday and the Princess and I did the tree and house decorations yesterday. How about everybody else? Any slackers out there?

Tupug (all "dec"ed out)

inspired and possibly alluded to by the title

Did Donner see blood and gore and guts and veins in his teeth? Eat dead burnt bodies?

Puggy, it’s not even december! I’m still basking in the glow of thanksgiving, thank you very much. You’re ones of those sorts who’s all cheerful, wearing antlers and blinking christmas themed sweaters, aren’t you? Put down the candy cane, and step away Puggy!

Nah, I puts the antlers on the dogs. :smiley:

I put my Christmas lights up on the eaves on Hallowe’en, as I want to make sure that it’s done before the first snow makes the roof too slippery to climb on, but I didn’t actually plug them in until this weekend. Normally we don’t turn them on before December 1st, but Mrs. B was out and wouldn’t be getting home before dark and I figgered bright shiney coloured lights would give her a lift after a hard day of shopping. (That and supper already cooking!)

Still have to put up the lights around the garage door and around the windows, but I’ll do those today or tomorrow so they will be on for Dec 1st.

I put the antlers on the giraffe and the monkey.

That sounds like a catch-phrase, doesn’t it? Like, I tripped the light fantastic. Or, who put the antlers out (ho ho ho).

I’m sure I had some extra money. Would everyone go through their wallets and see if they have more than they thought they had?

VunderBob, too little too late to make the Good List, I’m afraid. But nice last-minute try.

As tight as my money’s been over the last 18 months, I’ll welcome a couple stockings full of coal.