I stepped on a rusty coffeecan once. Cut myself pretty deep, but I don’t remember it hurting too much. What hurt was having my mom pour rubbing alcohol into the wound. AAAaahhhrrghhh! I’ve had those tiny wires that make up an SOS pad stuck in my hand. Ouch. The oogiest thing was probably dog vomit. (Sorry for that visual…)
My childhood home had hardwood floors, perfect for sliding, especially with a running start. I was practicing my patented knee-slide[sup]TM[/sup] in my bedroom, and I managed to get me a hunk of floor in my knee. It wasn’t a splinter - it was a big honkin’ hunk o’ floor! I’ve never heard such language from my mother as when she was trying to remove that sucker.
I quit knee-sliding[sup]TM[/sup] and shortly thereafter, mom and dad carpeted all the bedrooms.
I pickup up my easel and got a 1/4" wide piece of wood under my thumbnail. Ended up with a nasty infection from it.
$300 for a ER visit and $95 for a weeks’s worth of antibiotics.
I was playing frisbee barefoot in the park. Dog doo right between the toes. Felt gooooood.
It was a girl. Boy bees try to get lucky and then die. (If they do get lucky they die 'cause their genitals explode.) (Get ready to rock! It’s the Exploding Bee Genitals! And the crowd goes wild!)
I’ve stepped on needles several times, but it was only really bad once, when the dull end went into my big toe for about a quarter inch. That hurt, and taking it out hurt even more!
Oogiest, somebody else said dog vomit, well I’ll vote for CAT vomit. I’ve done that on several occasions. Damn cat ALWAYS pukes right in a pathway.
cat hair also hurts a bit. i was amazed at how such a small thing could hurt so much.
i also did the staple the thumb thing. it was a bit interesting watching the hole it made in my nail grow out.
as for most unusual thing, i guess that would have been the hampster that dangled from my thumb by his teeth.
Oh, you people will love this.
Departing slightly, I’ve had to remove things from my skin that my body has produces. I attribute this to working in a knife store, and perhaps absorbing the shavings of steel when sharpening. Though none of my fellow employees report anything like it.
Every once in a while, my body will extrude a tiny sliver of metal through my skin. It’s very thin, and looks rather like a splinter, sticking out directly perpendicular to my skin. A few hours before it happens, the skin in that area will get very, VERY itchy. The metal will then slowly push its way out, a very itchy process. Once it’s out enough to notice, and grab with tweezers, I just pluck it out, and the itch stops. This has happened several times. Noone seems to know why. They’re about as thick around as a hair, and perhaps 2mm long, but they itch like you wouldn’t BELIEVE.
My boss suggested that I get them tested in case I’m extruding something I can sell, like Platinum. 
Oh, and I got stung between the eyes by a bee once.
I have two pieces of pencil graphite in my body from two separate pencil-stabbing incidents. Once, a very sharp pencil was sitting on the floor of my room. I didn’t notice it and pushed it straight into a table leg with my big toe, whereby its tip snapped off and remained imbedded in my toe. Another time, I dropped a pencil on its eraser. Remarkably, it bounced straight up to whence it came, sticking itself right into my palm where its tip can still be seen today.
Last summer, my cousin was running along a dock barefoot when a giant splinter lodged itself between his toes. He had to go to the emergency room, and the 8 inch long piece of wood is now on display in a frame in his house. Dried blood can be seen on a good 3-4 inches of it.
I’ve got a lovely scar in the palm of my left hand, due to a game of Frisbee played back in 1978. I was a lowly E-3 at March AFB, it was a hot July afternoon and the “buffs”(B-52D bombers) weren’t due back for three hours. We were ordered to do clean-up to keep us out of trouble while the bossman went off to hit on females at the NonComPoop Club, and someone found a 12x12 pane of glass and tossed it to me. When I caught it, another airman said,“toss it here!” and a nice game of Frisbee ensued. When it came flying back to me a few minutes later, I tried for a one-handed catch.
I caught it. 
Can anyone top cutting themselves on an unbroken window pane?
I got a paper cut from my lawn mower instructions. Ironically it was the page with the warning about the blade being sharp.
-Rue