Owie owie fucking owwww.......

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m rarely one for starting threads, least of all in the pit, bit I’m going to vent right now, seeing as how this is the only form of communication I have left. Let me just say that I’m in extreme fucking pain. I mean pain on levels I have rarely experienced. Do you want to know why? I’ll tell you why. I mean it’s so fucking beautiful I can’t not tell you. This is could only happen to me. I tell people and they stare at me funny, or laugh like I’m telling a joke. Oh but I wish I were.

So, are you ready for what happened? Okay, here goes:
I sprained my tongue.
Yup, that’s right, my fucking tongue. And let me tell you it hurts like the sweet bejeezus. I cannot speak or swallow without writhing in agony. Literally, I twist like a sheet in the wind. I have to keep my tongue perfectly still, which really is a lot of fun, because it means I talk like a thalomide baby and I drool constantly (Unlike normal, where I only drool… well okay, pretty much like normal).

And it’s not like I was doing anything fun either, which would make this somewhat bearable. No, rather it was caused by an extreme coughing fit, brought on by a rampaging strep infection. By that I mean I have strep throat, strep chest, strep sinus and get this, strep mother fucking ear. Oh yes, my chest, sinuses, throat and ears are all infected. I mean Jesus wept, strep ear? What the fuck is that?! I’ve been like this for a week, too. I didn’t have to wear green on St. Paddy’s Day, because I was producing enough to colour all the Guinness in Dublin. Lots of fun let me tell you. I started my antibios today, but dear Goddess in Heaven, Hell, or New Jersey, where ever you are, please let this frigging pain end.

Now that I’ve vented I’m going to go weep in a corner, because my painkillers are wearing off, and when they do it’s going to be ugly, really ugly.
uuunnnnnnnggggghhhhhhh…

2

Well, The night is just getting better and better. I just got back from Emergency, because my throat was starting to swell shut. The doctor said it was because my throat was so dry fro not being able to swallow due to my tongue (he thought it might be a strained larynx). I feel like shit. I’m taking 2 Tyleno 3s and I’m going to bed. I sure hope I feel better in the morning, though I’m not holding my breath…

3

Great. Something else to add to kabbes’ Big List of Nasty Things That Can Happen To You.

Now let me see… file under “muscles” or “mouth”?

pan

4

Geez, Corvus…I’m sorry you’re in so much pain. Hope it’s better soon.

5

I sure hope you start feeling better soon.

6

Up until the point where you explaned how it happened, I was thinking, sprained tongue, damn hope she had multipiles.
Sorry about your problems. A speedy return to good health.

7

My throat did swell shut once when I had a real sore throat. I couldn’t swallow my own spit, and had to try to sleep with a hankie in my mouth. The doctor gave me antibiotics- PILLS! I had to throw them as far on my tonsils as I could, and force them down with a spoon. After about a week I tried my mother’s kill or cure remedy- hot black currant juice. It worked! An abscess in my tonsils burst, and I was fit as a fiddle in 10 minutes. But it sure left an unbelievable aftertaste in my mouth!

8

Thanks for the good vibes everybody. Slowly, I think things are getting better. My tongue no longer hurts as much, so I should be able to swallow again soon, as soon as the swelling in my throat goes down.

There has been an upside to this whole ordeal though. I’ve lost weight and quit smoking at the same time. I havn’t eaten in two days, and I havn’t had a smoke for a week. Even the thought of smoking gives me a coughing fit. There has to be some way I can market this to the general public. I can see it now, “Get Strep and Get Healthy with Corvus brand Strep throat in a bottle. We gaurantee an infection so bad that you won’t care about eating or smoking. You won’t even care about living.”

Wonder if I could get it past the FDA?