Corporate Helpdesk
Corporate Benefits
Process Management
Network Operations
Letting my inner child run loose and break things.
Compassionate conservatism
=MqpN=
Republican Party.
Sophomore.
Ass-Toaster Extraordinaire, SDMBSRC
German Humor
To Shirley Ujest:
I used to work with a carpenter who was from Kiel, Germany. He once told me that the Russians invented the toilet seat–but it was the Germans who got the idea to put a toilet seat in it. 
Another time, we were at a donut shop getting donuts and coffee–and I spilled a cup. He called that a “counter-fit.”
:o :o :o :o Put a HOLE in it!!! :o :o :o :o Put a HOLE in it!!! :o :o :o :o
Alone Together
Black Light
Definite Maybe
Down Escalator
Even Odds
Exact Estimate
Genuine Imitation
Hell’s Angels
Holy War
Half Naked
Ill Health
Non-dairy Creamer
Old News
Plastic Silverware
Unbiased Opinion
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank
Free will
silent alarm
wireless cable
mandatory options
death benefits
My favorite is from the TV show Night Court. The gang is eating together in the cafeteria and Bull (the dumber than dirt bailiff) is doing the crossword. “Does anyone know an eight letter word for two words that don’t go together?” he asks.
“Oxymoron.”
“If you don’t know the answer, Harry, just say so. You don’t have to call people names.”
“No, no, Bull, an oxymoron is two words that don’t go together, like ‘fast stop’ or ‘random order.’”
“Oh. I understand.”
“Good example!”
Jumbo shrimp works as an oxymoron with the colloquial use of ``shrimp’’ to refer to a small person…
``Beware of elaborate telescopic meat; it will find its way back to the forest.’’
– William S. Burroughs, Tom Waits
civil war
inside out
forest lawn
I don’t think I saw those here.
Recorded live
non-fat buttermilk
Consistently unreliable
Anarchist organization
Hot-water heater
Lovely zombie
Well, the loveliest thing about Zombies is that they are* still animated*