Paging my work ethic. Please come back.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Your last post confirmed it, Obsidian - you are in almost exactly the situation I was in three months ago. I hated to leave my job and all the great people I was working with, but my health was suffering too, and something had to give.

If I had it to do differently, the only thing I might have changed is I might have stood up to the bitch the first time she ragged on me. Then again, as a non-confrontational person, I probably wouldn’t. I’m very sorry to say this, Obsidian, but unless you are luckier than I am and learn how to become a confrontational person, you don’t have a future in this office. She will ride you until you snap and either yell at her or walk out.

There might be a compromise, though; can you ask to go part-time, and spend your days off looking for work? If you make it very clear to your supervisor that you work part-time or quit, maybe they’ll take the part-time. I’ve got my fingers crossed for you.

22

I am in pretty much the same situation currently, although fortunately, not nearly as bad as the OP describes her experience. Unfortunately for the time being, I am stuck here because I decided while the interest rates were low to go ahead and get a town home and it is too late to back out now. This was before things began to get worse. Unfortunately there is no one person I can transmit all my disgust and ill will towards. It is the bureacracy and inability to get anything done and admit mistakes that is getting on my nerves.

First, about a year ago I volunteered to go out to the branches because I had worked downtown for 6 years and needed a change of scenerey. Things did improve and I liked where I was because I did not have direct dealings with the administration. Unfortunately because we are very short staffed and they cannot keep good people, I by default became a “floater” going wherever they needed a body.

While I like my job and what I am doing, I feel the administration is doing things the wrong way, and I will voice my concerns. This has likely put me on a few “lists” but when input is requested I feel it should be provided. Unfortunately things never change for the better. The problem is that the powers that be are locked away in their little offices with no clue as to what we actually are doing and have to deal with every day.

They are currently trying to find ways to cut out non essential stuff so we can do what needs to be done. Unfortunately most of the things they decide on may sound good on paper will actually result in poorer customer service and goes against our reason for being.

I have realized that I cannot change things and have given up trying. Now I just go in, do my job and leave. I feel like Sam from Brazil, battling an unchangeable system. In order to deal with it, I have been taking more trips and things than I used to. The way I am dealing with it is to become much more active than I had been. I recently went skiing and to Vegas and have had a good time. I am also getting more active in other various groups so that when I am not working I am not thinking about it.

I have been keeping my eyes open for a new job, but right now there is not much out there, though I am being fairly picky about where I want to go. I am planning on staying here for another year or so. Hopefully the economy will continue to improve and I can try to get a job elsewhere. Also, after that time I can either sell or rent out my townhome, which I feel should be a pretty good investment in the long run.

As for the OP, I agree with what most have been saying. Life is too short, especially dealing with a boss like that. The best revenge is to get a different job then let the higher ups no exactly why you are leaving. That is one of the things I am looking for when I finally end up leaving. I have a nice little list I will provide them as to what the major problems are. I know you shouldn’t burn bridges, but in some cases it is necessary. usually things seem to work out for the best.

23

Not to belittle anyone (which usually means that the next sentence is going to belittle someone) this advice sounds great if you are a married housewife employed as an admin assistant. In other words, someone who has someone elses salary to fall back on and a job that is essentially fairly common and indistinctive. I might be wrong but that sounds like the tone of most of the responses - “no job is worth that”, “I hate leaving behind good people”, “dear”, sweathear", and so on.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but sometimes people don’t have the option of up and leaving their job just because it sucks. My job is the culmination of everything I’ve hated about every job I’ve ever had - smug arrogant passive-agressive bosses, nerdy, psychoticly exhuberant coworkers, long hours, 100% travel, tedious, mind-numbing work, incompetant project managers, sketchy CEO, barely financially stable company. On top of that I’m probably the third oldest person in the entire company (and I’m only 31). Worst of all, I can’t even look for a job because I’m freakin stuck overseas all the time. Yeah…that’s the commute I wanted - JFK to Shithole airport every other week. It’s not like I can just up and quit either since I’m still in debt from 8 months I speant laid off from a company I actually enjoyed (well, tolerated). I would let better than 2:1 odds that I get let go in the next six months because of “fit” reasons.

The worst is having to spend all my social time with my boss who I hate. “Hey…let’s go grab some dinner!” Hey fuck off! This is not a vacation for me. The two hours I get alone in my hotel room to watch BBC2, YORIN! (kind of a Netherlands version of the Turner networks) and Euro-Discovery Channel before bed is the only refuge I get from my bosses endless prattling and my clients endless pompousness.

I’m still trying to figure out what fucking gypsy I must have pissed off to be cursed to work at some throwback to the dot-com era with all the hours and stupid management and none of the high-flying stock options.

24

When I quit my job in January, my husband had been out of work since October, and we paid the bills (including the mortgage and the interest on our $40 000 worth of other debt) with our credit cards for the first six weeks or so of my unemployment. You can ALWAYS quit a job.

25

Msmith, do you work for my company? You so could be one of my sales guys.

Seriously, that does sound a lot like us. My old boss (who was great) left the company because his wife was having a difficult pregnancy and was spending nearly all his time travelling. It was so bad that she had to go live with her parents for a while.

I keep in touch with him, I think I’m going to give him a call, tell him the whole speil and ask for his advice. I’ve hinted I’m having some trouble, and he’s mentioned that if I ever need a reference, he’d be happy to write one-- so I’m covered with that even if I burn the bridges when I leave. I also know that the VP of Technology and several of the sales guys would write recomendations as well. The other day one of them told me I was the best admin he’d ever worked with. I get genuine, heartfelt compliments from other people I work with. The VP of Sales gave me a big basket of godiva chocolates for Christmas and told me no one thanks me enough. Near the end of our sales conference this year, the VP of Marketing took me aside and told me how he rarely gives compliments, but he wanted to express how impressed he was with how smooth the conference went, how no detail was forgotten. (And example of what I had to do: cater in or select resteraunts to feed 16 people, including 3 Hindu vegitarians, a diabetic, 2 people on low sodium diets and one guy who’s alerigic to wheat)

Dragon Lady is one of those people who seems to believe in the bare minimum, and sometimes I think she’s resentful I’m an above-and-beyond kind of person, and the sales guys love me for it. Sure, I could feed everyone the same cold-cut platter (and salads for the vegitarians) every day, but why not get Thai take out? Or mini-pizzas or quesadillas and fajita wraps? These guys are spending a week in a hotel away from their families, the least I could do is feed them well.

Let me just say this, no one sent her Christmas presents. No one brings her souveneirs from foreign countries.

I am working on my resume and will begin looking for a new job. I’ll miss my guys, though, I really will. But I can’t deal with her constant negativity. Some days I start to believe her, that I really am incompetant. I catch myself, but it scares me.

26

We have no established policy about what is sufficient notice. She’s also made it clear that I can’t have any time off unless everything that needs doing in the office is done. Being that we are understaffed, this is never the case. The last time I took a sick day (for a migraine) I had PucksRaven call me out and tell her I was unconcious. With the last migraine, I had this conversation:

“Hi, Dragon Lady. I have a migraine and can’t stand upright without fainting or vomiting, so I won’t be in today.”
“What about all the stuff you have to do? Have you found a new conference table yet yet? What about all the papers in your To File tray? Did you finish that yet? Obviously it’s your choice, but it would be better if you could come in and get work done.”
“There’s no way I’m capable of operating a car. I can barely see.”
“Can’t you just take some asprin? You know, most people keep working when they have a headache.”

27

This is wha I’d do, ideally. I know that I wouldn’t do it (because I should’ve at a job I quit, but didn’t).

Find a better job. Put in your two weeks. A day or two before you leave (or maybe when you turn in the two weeks, I don’t know which would be better), write a letter to your CEO, detailing why you’re leaving (constant harrasment, commenting on your perceived sexuality, mistrust, not being allowed to take your vacation time, and the effect on your work ethic), but don’t burn bridges. Also say how much you loved working there, and that you’d be more than happy to return if work conditions improved.

It sounds like a good idea, but I’m not sure if it is.

28

What about asking the boss to fire the Dragon Lady?

Seriously. If most of the other employees dislike her, why not have them write letters or see the boss and ask that she be fired? It sounds like she performs rather poorly. Or simply tell your boss that she goes or you do. It seems that the problem isn’t the boss, your other coworkers, your duties or anything else. It’s just the Dragon Lady. Why not keep the job and find a way to get rid of her?

misssmith537

I don’t think that anybody was suggesting that quitting would be safe or easy. But when things at your job get this bad, pulling in minimum wage at McDonald’s is better. Obsidian has (briefly)considered injuring herself to avoid the job. Yes, unemployment can be stressful and depressing, but this job sounds worse.

29

I’ve wanted to update, but I’ve been insanely busy.

Dragon Lady may be evil, but I love my boys.

Last week, in honor of Admin Proffesionals Day (or whatever they’ve renamed Secretaries Day as), I got a giant box of Harry & David cookies, a rum cake, Godiva chocolates and two different flower arrangements from the salesmen spread out over the country that I take care of. When the first box arrived it made me cry. By the fourth all I could do was stare. I carried each one into Dragon Lady’s office and showed them to her. (I was also taken to lunch by the people in this office yesterday—nice fancy French place)

It was an interesting week.

Monday morning, I went into Hot IT Guy’s office and spilled my guts. We had a long, long conversation about my options, and hearing someone else say they see the way she treats me really helped a lot. He gave me a hug and I left him muttering about lawsuits.

Monday was very busy, and I actually found myself getting things done, working for the deadlines and such. Dragon Lady declined to actually train the new girl, instead just throwing her work, and getting pissed when I sat down to help her.

Mid-afternoon, Dragon Lady berates me about something. I actually don’t remember what it was, as I’d been just tuning her out and trying to get my work done. Then I hear the VP of Tech (who was loitering in his office doorway during the exchange) say: “You know, Dragon Lady, one of these days she’s going to just throw her keys and us and storm out. We’ll all be screwed and it will be entirely your fault.”

So I’m standing my the copy machine, with my mouth open, when he comes out, squeezes my shoulder and tells me Hot IT Guy called him, and “We’ll work something out.”

I asked him if he’d noticed how she treated me before, and he said he was aware, but he thought I just ignored it—It never seemed to bother me. I told him I have a good game face.

Dragon Lady doesn’t say ONE word to me for the rest of the day. Tuesday, the CEO told me I seemed more relaxed, for the first time in a while. He said when he’d seen me last I’d been so stressed. He said he was starting to worry about me. I asked him if we could talk. He said we’d set up some time after the board meeting (Thursday). Tuesday afternoon, the gifts started.

Tuesday and Wednesday, Dragon Lady seemed a little snarly, but gave me a very wide berth. The few times she spoke to me, I was very assertive and didn’t take any crap. Thursday and Friday was downright civil. Polite and professional, which is all I wanted anyway.

I don’t know what happened, or who called who beyond Hot IT Guy repeating my saga to his boss. Due to a long story involving airline tickets, I worked from home Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. The CEO had to go out of town, but now I don’t know what to say to him when he gets back. Does he already know? Has she been reprimanded by him or someone else, or was the smackdown by the VP of Tech enough?

All I know is, she’s not treating me like shit anymore. Hell, she was trying to joke with me today. Aside from the fact that I’ve come to hate (with a firey passion) Singapore Airlines, SFO, and our annoying visitor from India who caused the airline mess, I feel better than I have in a very long time.

And here I was, all geared up to quit. I really didn’t think that there was any other option. I didn’t think anyone would back me up. Just goes to show you.

30

Obsidian,

I have been thinking about your situation, vis-a-vis this thread, and wondering how the Dragon Lady’s attitude adjustment is holding up?