Well, I went paintballing today with my friend, and 3 guys and 2 girls that I just met today but they all knew each other. It was only my second time, but I’m already pretty good. I guess my years of playing hide and seek and laser tag have payed off. Well, I only ‘died’ twice on the field from enemy fire, but man, my own team killed me more than the opposing team! (Even though the refs didn’t call me ‘dead’, but still)
The first instance was when one of the girls who went with us shot me in the leg. We were just kneeling in a bamboo tunnel, I was on point looking for enemy players, kneeling on my right knee, when out of nowhere POOFT she shoots me behind my knee from a distance of about a foot.
“Oh I’m so sorry!!” she says.
I think to myself, “She wants me.”
She says, “Are you alright??”
“Yes, it’s ok, just watch where you’re pointing that thing” I respond.
Eventually she calmed down, only to get shot on the butt to be removed from the game by an opposing team member.
The second instance was when my team was making a big rush up the middle of the field to get the enemy flag. I had just occupied an empty bunker, when PAFT PAFT PAFT someone with a super-semi paintgun hits me witha 3-round burst right on my back. Nothing much happened from this one since the guy then ‘killed’ two enemies who had my pinned down. “Sorry!” he yells to me after they’re dead.
The third and final incident was when I was walking to get my CO2 tank filled. Some jerk-off in the practice range had just finished practicing, and had forgotten to put his barrel plug in. Now, this idiot was maybe 12 years old, with what look like a $1000 gun, fully decked out with all the latest gizmos and enhancements you can get.
Then he dropped his gun. I laughed.
Then the gun started shooting uncontrollably on the ground, grazing a few people. I laughed harder.
Then it hit me. It hit my testicles. I stopped laughing. I was in the worst agony I’ve ever felt. When I was better, that kid was lucky he had already left, because I was going to shove the $200 barrel straight up his ass and force-feed him his paint.
I was lucky I was wearing boxers under the shorts I had under my pants, or else I would be suffering from a majorly swollen testicle right now.
Anyways, that was my experience of the day.