Pffft, Snake-Eyes. He’s the Washington Generals of action figures. His whole purpose is get beaten, run to tell the others, but -OOPS!- he can’t talk so he has to explain through faggy interpretive dance while the other Joes stand around like mopes and ask “What is it, Snake-Eyes? Do you want us to follow you?”
Hey, my Barbies were all Amazon Battle Princesses.
The pink, frilly dresses were just a clever ruse.
Yes, several of my cousin’s Amazon warrior princesses tried to attack Roadblock once. Despite being much larger than him, Roadblock managed to defeat all 3 women in hand-to-hand combat, after which he seduced them and left without ever calling.
If you don’t understand the doll versus action figure debate, it’s obvious you’re too old to have played with either.
In other words, would you like me to get my action figures off your lawn?
Oh, you don’t even want to know what my Barbies got up to with my sister’s Ninja Turtles …
And, to actually be on topic a bit - the only reason was was ever interested in seeing the G.I Joe movie was to see how they would work in the phrase “Knowing Is Half the Battle”.
After seeing the more recent commercials, I think I can wait for it to hit cable.
Wait, if Paramount won’t show the movie to critics, and there are 10 reviews up on Rotten Tomatoes, doesn’t that mean that Paramount hand-picked these ten reviewers? I have a feeling the promotional department knows which hacks it can rely on for an early positive review, wink-wink, nudge-nudge.
I guess Transformers 2 and Terminator 4 didn’t move Harry Knowles… TO A BIGGER HOUSE!
So?
It still looks like a fun film. And this from a man too old to have watched the cartoons, and who was deeply disappointed when they slapped the G.I. Joe name on that host of bubble-packed dwarfs.
(Never had the Kung-Fu Grip, but I did have the Mercury Capsule. Sadly, the capsule did not survive its final re-entry…)
Personally, I’m holding out for the big-screen Cheat Commandos adaptation, although Crack Stuntman’s increasingly erratic behavior is daily making it less plausible.
I think, for some of us, that’s exactly what our problem with it is.
It did fun. In the first trailer at least. Everything that’s been released since has taken away a little bit more of my faith in that this will be a good movie. I know it won’t be the cartoon, but it doesn’t even look like a good movie anymore. I mean, hopping power suits? And then the suits don’t even work that well?
It has Dennis Quaid. I am thusly sold.
Then how did they get Harry Knowles to review it for the commercial?
This movie is going to be awesome. Power Armor is definitely the way to go.
It looks fun. Unlike Transformers, the extent of my knowledge of G.I. Joe was playing with the toys. I never even set up to be Cobra vs. Joe half the time anyway. So I don’t really care about backstory or power suits. Frankly, I’m concerned that there aren’t enough rockets!
Yeah, the opinion from the G.I. Joe fanbase has been going downhill for months. Mostly a lot of little things adding up to bigger things, plus design work criticism.
You should hear the stuff that’s been sussed out about the movie Cobra Commander himself, and the thought that went into his redesign. ::shudder::
Look, I’m the first to acknowledge that a bad adaptation can still be a good (even great—or at least enjoyable) movie, so maybe my own objections to how this thing looks like it’s turning out is just based on my own attachment to the original. But it seems like they’ve sucked most of the charm out of the property that made it special in the first place. And even as an action movie, well…I just didn’t see a real variety of big action—or other—scenes in the trailer. Unless they saved a lot of the movie from being used in commercials, I get the nagging feeling that they cherry picked the best sequence of the film, and it’s about ten minutes long.
You know what the worst part is, though? If the movie succeeds, they might just try and make the rest of the line (toys, comics, etc) conform more closely to the film’s look and feel. But if it bombs…well, so long hot rock, nice working with you. 
Now that I think about it, this makes it three weeks in a row that a studio didn’t screen a film for critics- last week, Fox didn’t screen Aliens in the Attic (which came in fifth), and the week before that Disney refused to screen G-Force (which took the week).
The Rotten Tomatoes people are surprisingly positiveabout it.
This has actually been decided by a court. Hasbro got into a dispute with the Customs Service over whether GI Joe was a doll (which was subject to a higher import duty) or a toy soldier (which got a lower import duty). Sadly for the Joe team, the court sided with the Customs Service, and upheld their classification as a doll. The court closed its opinion this way:
As of this posting, it has a 91% rating, but with only 11 reviews in. The rating can change quite a bit as more reviews roll in.
I don’t know exactly how RT works, but I have a theory that reviewers with strong feelings tend to submit their reviews first. An alternative, or perhaps complementary, theory is that reviewers who have been successfully lobbied/bribed by the studio submit their reviews early, at the studio’s request, in an effort to build positive buzz.
Obviously, this needs to be appealed to the highest court, because it is wrong, Wrong, WRONG!
I like how in a thread about how Paramount won’t allow critics to see the movie people are linking to reviews. 
The reviews that are up are mostly bloggers, not the actual newspaper and magazine critics that matter. A lot of bad movies get initially good RT ratings because the first reviews posted come from bloggers on fanboy sites, many of whom can be persuaded to write positive reviews after being invited to the set to look at real movie stars, slipped a bag of good weed, and maybe even gotten laid for the first time ever in their lives.
I’ve seen even stuff like Hostel 2 start out in the 80’s or 90’s like this, and then dive precipitously after the real critics saw it.
The studios are learning how to artificially inflate and manipulate the RT rating, at least until they get an opening weekend.