Parenting Snark: When is the right age for a kid to have their own computer?

In My Humble Opinion
21

I definitely agree with restricting Internet access. The GirlChild never had her own computer because there was nowhere to put it except her room - and that wasn’t happening. She did have free run of the family computer from a very early age, but it was in the living room where we could keep an eye on things.

She did have a cell phone way too early IMO, but her Dad wanted her to have one and was willing to pay for it. That was before smart phones, mostly, so didn’t have to worry about the Internet there.

My friend’s four year old just got her old laptop, when they got a new one. She does lots of educational stuff online.

Just ignore the other kid’s parents. Sounds to me like they’re hypocritical morons.

22

I had unlimited access to the family PC when I was 8 – and that was in 1987. Nowadays, I think monitored, appropriate computer use can start as early as 2 or 3.

They’re just too essential to daily life to put off access to one for too long. “Too long” is of course up to the parents. The correct time for a child to have his/her own computer is when his/her parents say so.

23

My kids didn’t have their own until around your sons age but they quite expertly controlled the family computer from about 4 up. We started the bump 'n roll deployment method in our house when they were around 7 or 8. We would get a new computer and they would get the old ones. They LOVED the fact that my husband and I were gamers :smiley:

Anecdote alert! I was at a craft show this weekend when a couple went past me with what looked like twin girls a little younger than 1 in a double stroller. Each of them had an iPad and were quite expertly playing their games. They did look like first gen iPads though so maybe Mom and Dad upgraded. Either way - the technology is not a big deal. As many have said your son’s laptop is cheaper than many toys that no one would blink at. Things have changed pretty rapidly and what was a wild extravagance when we were kids is not the same deal now. Ignore the mom, tell your son that everyone believes different things and that polite* people don’t comment on others choices.

*I have never claimed to be polite though!

24

Acces to the family desktop since forever. Purchased a laptop for the girls to share when they were both in high school. New laptop for each as a graduation present to take to college.
We are not a very plugged in family.

25

People typically do something like this for a reason. Usually that reason has more to do with the person’s maturity than anything about your actions.

Get your kid a computer whenever you feel like it - the only issue is whether you have reasonable controls for his age.

26

First off, the friend’s parents are jerks. Just wanted to get that out there in case there were any questions :).

As far as minimum age, it depends on a LOT. At age 7 I would not let a kid have unfettered access to a computer with internet connections, and would require that when he does have internet time, it is someplace public in the house - e.g. not in his room.

Hell, my kids are 17 and 14 and their computer access is solely in a room we pass by all the time. They also only get an hour a day on weekdays, and alternate hours on the weekends. This is because they have proven that they will be online 24/7, to the exclusion of food, sleep, hygiene, school, etc. if we let them.

Not that limiting their computer time has fixed the other issues… they still will find things that are more important than food, sleep, hygiene, and school.

As far as online time: as I said, I support strongly restricting that and making sure it’s somewhere visible. I’d also put parental controls on the sort of sites he can go to, make sure the antivirus is up to date, and counsel him on “Safe Hex”. And periodically review the sites he’s visited in the browser history or whatever. You might want to set him up with a non-administrator user on the computer and lock down the admin user so he can’t get into as much trouble downloading any nasties.

We got bitten badly by something my daughter went to last summer - all of a sudden, the desktop started getting a lot of virus warnings, all coming from her user. We still don’t know where it came from, it took a lot of hours to clean up. This was all despite her having non-admin rights (that didn’t prevent the infection but limited the damage) and some parental controls over websites.

Anyway, beyond the online issues, other use of the computer (games, reading, writing etc.) is your own business. If you feel he’s responsible enough to take care of it and use it appropriately, go for it.

27

We got our first computer when my eldest was 5. Not a laptop mind you. We have an office off the family room where we have 2 desktops (big family). We wanted to be able to “pop in” and see what the boys were doing. We recently inherited an old laptop. I let the boys use it for homework, facebook, etc…but NOT up in their room. I want to be able to check content.
The parents problem is with their parenting skills, not your laptop. Much like cell phones, we drew a line in the sand (fairly arbitrary, but a line nonetheless). Phone at 13, smart phone when you head off to college. This lady needs to be able to explain to her kid that they have rules, etc. It’s not your fault the kid is whiney. You need to explain to your kid that you can’t live your life by other people’s rules.

28

Most of what people say is more about themselves than about anything else. I’d guess that the parent probably feels inadequate and this reactions is actually a form of defensiveness.

I would just write it off. We all have our issues.

29

This is one of those questions to which the only non-stupid answer is ‘It depends’.

This is the one thing that drives me nuts about having a kid: the number of people who think that, when it comes to childraising, there’s always one universal correct answer and all the rest are wrong. Nobody thinks there’s one universal correct answer to, say, ‘Where is the right place to live?’ or ‘What is the correct thing to have for breakfast?’ so why on earth should there be one correct answer to ‘What’s the right age for a kid to have a computer?’

Unless one or both families are idiots, I’d bet that the correct age for your kid to have a computer is 7 and the correct age for his kid to have a computer is 13. Or, at least, that 7 is a perfectly good age for your kid to have a computer and 13 is a perfectly good age for his kid to have one. Where this all went wrong is when he assumed that what’s right for his family must be right for all other families.

30

Are they a bit wealthier than you? The ‘sense of entitlement’ phrase makes me think that
they might be lumping you in with parents that the media talk about, getting themselves in hock to get their kid the latest gadget.

And if they’re Mac users, it also might be them not realising how cheap PCs are compared to Macs and how much kids can get out of them compared to how much kids can get out of Macs. There’s not a lot of kid-friendly or educational software for Macs compared to PCs.

31

My six year old has her own desktop computer. It’s a hand-me-down from her big sister, who bought them both with her own money. I am just glad I don’t have to share mine! Her desk is right next to mine so I can see everything she’s doing. She mostly plays on Zoo Tycoon but there are a few online games like that neopet site and Mathblaster. The first thing I did was install one of those typing tutor games so she can type fairly good; she just needs help spelling. She has an email address but she doesn’t know how to open it or anything. It was mostly just set up for Stumbleupon and my older daughter and I will send her links we think she might like.

Oh she’s also really into Google Earth! She likes to do the road view and pretend she’s driving to her uncle’s house or to the zoo. She’ll open it up and ask, “Where shall we go?” then she’ll just guide herself down every road. I was surprised she knew how to “drive” from here clear across town to her speech therapy office. These kids are so much smarter than they get credit for.

32

First grade seems pretty young to me, personally, but $200 for a combined birthday and holiday present doesn’t seem unreasonable, especially if you think it will still be useful when he would have outgrown the Leapster. It’s one of those things that I think reasonable people can reasonably have different opinions about, honestly.

As for the FB thing, I think you’re making a far bigger deal of it than is really needed. He’s allowed to have opinions about his interpretation* of what his kid tells him at dinner, just like you are, and he is likewise allowed to post those opinions on FB. I mean, shit, that’s what FB is for. It’s not the suavest thing to post a negative opinion about someone’s actions where they can read it, of course, but it’s also usually not some pointed malicious passive-aggressive Message, either. It’s really the sort of thing you roll your eyes and mutter “some people” about and let go rather than starting a dialogue about they hurt your feelings by publicly disagreeing with you.

  • I suspect when his kid said your son got his own computer, he probably automatically assumed you got him some sort of Apple product like he would buy. The idea of getting a Wallie World cheapie probably wouldn’t occur to him, just because we tend to assume people do things the way we would do them.
33

We got Dominic his own computer (a cheap HP Pavilion desktop) when he turned 5. He’s had his own computer ever since then. He has limited access to it during the school year because of his grades, but he’s very good at using computers and I think that’s partially due to having his own and being able to use it from an early age.

34

Well, I feel better. His wife knew where we got it (she even said nothing on Earth would make her shop on Black Friday - and they’re very antiWalmart) and he actually told me we were ‘very different kinds of parents’ because he doesn’t ‘parent that way’. It was super snark.

I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who thinks that if a kid can handle it, he can handle it.

And yeah, the guy is a jerk.

35

My son has been using the ipad since we got it over a year ago. He’s 5. He was 3 when I first let him use it to play Teach Me Kindergarten. For his 5th birthday, we got him a computer exactly like you described in the original post. He doesn’t use the desk computer much, but he plays and reads and draws on the ipad every day.

36

I didn’t get my own computer until I was 23, but that was in 1988. :smiley:

I see no real problem with your 7-year old having a computer as long as it’s affordable for you, but I would install some parental control software. You don’t want him stumbling across porn, etc…

37

Yep, that’s your call and it seems like the right call to me from what you’ve said.

But never ever allow him to have it in his bedroom alone. They can become a total time sink and a distraction from his chores, his homework and his interaction with the rest of the family. Children’s computers should only ever be in public areas of the house where you can keen an eye on a/ how long he’s on it and b/ what he’s actually doing on it. My stepson is 17 1/2 and he’s still not allowed to use his laptop in his room.

38

I agree. He’s using it right now before he goes to bed. He’s right next to me. :slight_smile:

So I made him a non-admin on there but I’m wondering on WHAT kind of parental controls to install? Any tips? I’m weary of him clicking on ads, not searching for boobs online. I’ve given him a few tips but I want to make this thing more kid-proof.

39

What OS does it have? Windows 7?

We have Vista on the computer the kids use, and there is an explicit “Parental Controls” icon in the Control Panel. You can set up hours limits during which time he can’t even log in (internet or not).

There are some web filters built in, in that same panel you can set the limits up for various levels (e.g. high/medium/low). You can blacklist specific sites e.g. playboy dot com; you can whitelist specific sites as well (as in the kid could go to a site even if the parental filtering thought it was bad).

We disabled downloads of any kind for a while. Of course that can backfire. e.g. it prevents them from downloading documents as well as less-legit stuff.

40

Get used to it. This is going to happen over & over. Some kids get things, some don’t. Some parents clothe their objections or priviledges with ‘holier than thou’ speak because they really are that judgemental and some do it to cover up not being able to afford it. One day it’ll be an ipod, a phone, the latest game player, a car, or whatever is ‘cool’ this season.

As far as the harpy who posted on facebook, at least you’ve got her number. No one older than 12 thinks that’s private.