This isn’t a thread for discussing big philosophical issues of parenting, but little tips that make the day to day stuff easier.
For instance:
Forget bibs - once they start feeding themselves, just take off the shirt and possibly pants. Children are far more washable than clothes.
Bathing babies - when they’re tiny, just get in the tub with them. It helps keep them warm and safe. Put a towel on the floor by the tub or over a bouncy seat by the tub, so you can put the baby down and then get out yourself. When they’re older, but you still have to support them in the tub, don’t squat or kneel by the tub and kill your back. Just take off your shoes and socks and sit on the edge, with your feet in the tub. MUCH easier on you, and you can control the baby well.
Prepare for pee/poop/vomit in bed - put on a waterproof cover, then a fitted sheet, then another waterproof cover and another fitted sheet. Keep a neatly folded spare top sheet and blanket where you can find it by touch. When the child barfs everywhere at 3 a.m., all you have to do is strip off the dirty stuff, revealing a clean, made bed. Put the spare covers on, and you’re all back to sleep much faster.
Changing dirty diapers - use the front edge of the diaper to wipe off as much as possible, right into the diaper. Cuts way down on the number of wipes you need. Also consider having some cloth wipes around - what takes ten disposable wipes may take only two cloth.
On clothes with long zippers, keep a finger between the zipper and the baby. That keeps you from zipping up any of the baby’s skin, which of course results in a loud and long scream.
I did all the things you suggest. They do make life easier.
For babies - try using cotton wool pads before going for wipes. With wipes, my daughter had nappy rash; no wipes, nappy rash gone! Therefore no need for nappy cream either. Anywhere you’re going to change your child is going to have at least some water, and, if not, take a bottle of tap water - it’ll still take up less space than nappy rash cream.
For older kids - just set their clothes out the night before, but in the order that they’re going to put them on. Even if you’re still helping them get dressed it’s an aid to both them and you.
If the sprout has a really bad case of the runs, and you have a kitchen sink with spray nozzle, save the time and effort. Make sure the water is set to the proper temp and give the poor thing a shower in it. Dont bother trying to wipe anything, it all goes down the drain and you can sterilize after the impromptu shower. And olive oil spread liberally over the poor butt seems to work better than the nasty fishy stuff that is supposed to be used for baby butts.
Now all the real parents can go back to being horrified at me … but it works. If you drop your sprout off for babysitting without giving me any supplies, deal with how I manage =)
Teething “nets” - a teething item with a closable net pouch - also are great. You can put ice cubes or frozen fruit in their without risk of choking.
Babies and toddlers do great with sign language. Just start using it when you think they’re too young to pick it up - they’re not. And the payoff is, they’ll be able to communicate their needs to you before they’d otherwise be able to vocalize those same needs.
Don’t argue with a (very small) child. They’re not built for rationality. If the kid is fussing about some object or activity that is out of reach or out of the question at the moment, the Distraction Play is best.
Example: you and your 2-year-old at a supermarket checkout counter.
Kid: I want those (Tic-Tacs)!
You: No, you can’t have them.
Kid: (face screws up, embarrassing tantrum ensues)
(No amount of explaining WHY the kid can’t have the Tic-Tacs will matter at all)
(Simply putting your foot down, “BECAUSE I SAY SO”, will just make the Power Play tantrum worse)
Instead, if you know your kid is like this (and all kids will be for at least some part of their life), play out this scene:
Kid: I want those (Tic-Tacs)!
You: What, this? (Take Tic-Tacs from shelf) Or this? (some other toy/item your or the child already has or is allowed to have, of which you ALWAYS have one on hand)
Kid: That one! (Points at Tic-Tacs)
You: (Feign puzzlement) They look the same to me!
The more bizarre the juxtaposition the better (say, the alternative in question is a small stuffed animal). The kid will have a great time talking about how the items are different. Then when you get to the register, put the Tic-Tacs back, praise the kid about how and knowledgeable he/she is. Make the stuffed animal do the talking, in fact, and very very likely the kid will refocus on the toy and forget about the Tic-Tacs.
Meltdown averted, the kid is happy, you remain clearly in control, and hopefully even having fun with your child in these fleeting formative years.
Follow-up on my previous post: of course you don’t use the same Distraction Play or prop every time. It takes a certain amount of creativity, which if you have the right attitude is kind of fun, and works best if the kid picks up on a playful vibe from you and not a manipulative one.
This only addresses the scenario where the kid wants something, or to do something, you don’t want them to have or do. The one I never really figured out was how to deal with a kid who DOESN’T want to do something you DO want them or need them to do…
Teach independence early and set rules that allow them to be independent. If there are toys they can take out without asking, snacks they can always snack on, beverages they can always consume (even if its a child friendly pitcher of water because you don’t want the constant apple juice or kool aid) - your life will become a lot easier a lot faster - AND your kids are somewhat less likely to be lost without a nightly phone call reminding them to do their homework when they get to college. Allow these rules to expand as they get older - i.e. you don’t have to ask to go over to the neighbors if it isn’t dinner time - you do have to tell me you are going…Independence extends to ‘picking up after yourself,’ ‘putting your dishes away,’ ‘putting your dirty clothes into the bins and the clean ones into the drawers.’
If you are lucky enough to have to take a toddler on a long plane ride, bring a bag with some some new wrapped toys and dole them out slowly over the trip. They obviously should be quiet toys without pieces to get lost. Books are good also.
If you are taking care of a vomiting child too young to know to upchuck into the toilet, just stretch out with them in the bathtub on top of you and rub their back until they’re done. Chances are that you’re already covered in vomit anyway. As soon as they’re done, strip both of you down and turn on the shower.
If you find yourself trapped on a very long plane flight, start saving your used water bottles and straws. People thought I was absolutely nuts for hoarding my trash, but my son was completely enthralled by an old water bottle, a big straw and a coffee straw for about three hours during a 17-hour flight. After that first few hours, he would pick it up again every once in a while and give me a much-needed 10 minutes to watch the in-flight movie.
If your kid is very attached to a specific blanket or stuffed animal and you can afford to get an extra (or if it wasn’t something someone made you), make sure you’ve got two - one to snuggle and drag around and one to wash.
If you’re trying to get a toddler to hurry the heck up, don’t tell them to hurry. If you can, make it into a game.
Oh, and keep your promises. It not only develops trust, but it’s good for discipline.
Oh, and never, ever sing the real words to “You Are My Sunshine” and “Darling Clementine” to a kid with separation anxiety.
Disposable diapers have a little “frill” around the legs. As the last step after you seal the front of the diaper, run your finger around the legs and make sure that the frill points out, rather than being folded under. It really wants to fold that way, and if you don’t pull it out, it will act as a conduit for the diaper contents to the outside world.
Never sit down to breastfeed without a water bottle handy - crippling thirst will hit about five seconds after the baby latches on. It is helpful to have a big jug with a straw near the place where you usually nurse (and new fathers should just refill the jug with more ice water every time they see it). If your older child is old enough, putting them in charge of keeping the jug full is also a good “big kid” chore.
Even if your baby is not eating solid foods yet, a high chair can be a good place to park them for a few minutes so you can grab a quick shower, especially if you have a high chair that reclines a little. Put some safe toys on the tray.
Whipped cream is an awesome food for learning how to use a spoon, because it sticks to the spoon pretty well and is easy to scoop. Just dump a little pile of it right on the high chair tray and hand baby a spoon. It’s also entertaining to watch.
If you childproof cabinets in your kitchen, leave the one containing your tupperware and/or your pots and pans unlocked. Babies like rummaging through this stuff, and it will often distract them long enough for you to cook dinner. But don’t open the door and give them a guided tour - it’s more fun if they think they’re doing it on their own.
When the little one gets old enough to have an opinion about things, let them make some choices but try to keep them limited, like allow them to choose one of two outfits to wear that day.
On the other hand, if I could go back I would get our daughter one single style and color of sippy cup, plates, and utensils so we never had to play the “that’s not the one I wanted” game.
I agree with not arguing with a child about something unless there is a rock solid, immutable law of physics or such that will prevent them getting their way. Otherwise, they will drill down through your reasoning with a series of “Whys?” until you get to “because I said so!” anyways, so why not just start with that.
Hey, sometimes, a few minutes of peace is worth it.
Also, lots and lots of kisses.
I fed my daughter naked so often, it is now a struggle to keep her clothes on. I also believe that kids should be able to run around naked and get dirty. Really dirty.
When my son got his mattress for his “big boy bed” (first a really crappy captains bed, now a bunk bed) I left the plastic cover on. I figured, they provided me with a nice waterproof sealed cover on this mattress so I didnt have to do the plastic sheets, soakers, etc. Just a regular fitted sheet and then when accidents have happened I have a lot less bed making to do. (He likes to sleep on the floor though with his Lightening McQueen quit, so this is not as effective as I would have hoped.)
If poop is dried on, using lotion or shaving cream gets it off quite nicely without lots of rubbing. (This is a nurse’s trick, but works well for Moms too.)
Soaking a bandage, esp one with “elastoplast” in baby oil or even cooking oil or butter and letting it sit for a few minutes saves a lot of OUCHIES!
For medicine, give the kids a popsicle to freeze the mouth for a minute before you give them the meds. Even banana flavoured penicillin still has a musty undertaste (its made from mould after all) and the numbed taste buds help it slide down a bit faster.
Tell them to do things, not not to do things. That is, ‘stay on the pavement/sidewalk’ is much easier for them to understand than ‘don’t run in the road.’
Always have several toys with you in case you get caught waiting longer than expected at the bus stop or doctor’s surgery or whatever. Keep enough toys on you not just for your own kid, but for another kid or two - because, if the other kids waiting around don’t have toys and get bored, then start playing up, that can encourage your child to as well. Those buggy buddy books that attach to the buggy/stroller are very popular with babies and small children. I used to attach them to the shopping trolley/cart too - probably one of the reasons that I never ound shopping to be the nightmare that some parents say it is.
Good Lord, there are a lot of UK-US translations in that paragraph!
You know, having had many a frustrating ahem discussion in my childhood with certain irrational but loving parents I know over the topic of this very phrase, I try to avoid it myself when talking to my kids, whenever possible.
And instead find myself falling back on “I’m all done talking about this.” Which is pretty much almost exactly the same thing. Lesson learned.
