Definitely 0 to 1 for us. Number 2 came when number 1 was almost 5 and a human being. Planned that way to avoid paying college tuition for two at the same time.
0 to 1 involves getting up in the middle of the night for feeding, being limited where you can go, and having to load up with baby stuff when you go out.
The second was much less stressful since the first managed to survive. The first was “omg, the baby’s crying, should we go to her, what’s wrong,” versus number 2 “the baby’s crying. Big deal.”
Number 2 was also easier, which helped.
Absolutely zero to one for me. We had the second child two years later, and that was a breeze compared to the first, where we were learning as we went. And after a little bit the second child and first child largely took care of each other. They are both very good at entertaining themselves.
And now I see that Happy_Lendervedder used the same clever metaphor I thought I was bringing to this thread. Sigh.
And I was suitably impressed with the both of you expressing what I tried to say so picturesquely and eloquently.
The transition from 0 to 1 was certainly big for us. From 1 to 2 wasn’t so much because the 2nd came so soon, we just kept doing some things with the younger one while moving on to new things with the older. But neither transition is much of anything, it’s over quickly, they’re still cute when they’re young and they haven’t started talking back yet. You are still left with a lot of years after either transition, that’s the hard part.
I have heard from more than one person with a large family that 2 to 3 is the hardest and 3 to 4 the easiest.
I agree. 0-1 was by far harder than 1-2. We were lucky enough that ours are only about 2.5 years apart and are both boys, so we still had all the clothes and gear, as well as some experience as to what was useful and what wasn’t the first time around.
1-2 was more an exercise in how to juggle kids doing different things than it was a total lifestyle change. Which I think was easier in that you’re already used to not having the time you used to have, etc… while 0-1 means that you have to readjust your entire life around your children’s needs, especially when they’re younger than about 5.
Now there’s somebody who knows their onions.
First arrival you become a parent and realise you know bugger all about parenting.
Even your own parents just give you tired, knowing smiles.
3rd arrival confirms that you still know bugger all about parenting … and you only have two hands.
I could ask my parents since I’m one of three. We had the 2-against-1 shifting alliances thing for sure.
Is this a baseball metaphor? I’m afraid I’m not familiar.
Basketball - you can defend against the opposing team by having each one of your team guard one of the other team - or you can assign each of your team to a certain zone of the court. With two parents and three kids, you can’t have one-on-one coverage, so you have to go to “zone defense” (one parent keeping track of whichever kids are in the kitchen and one keeping track of whichever ones are up to mischief elsewhere, for example).
Both are also done in football, at least American football.
You’ve detected the limits of my sports knowledge
And I have just exposed my own…
The big surprise going from 1 to 2 (IME) was “ZOMG … I remember babies being hard. Babies are so easy! They just lie there and you do things with them when they need it! Now toddlers OTOH…”
In other words, my workload had been ramping up infinitesimally over the previous 2 1/4 years and I never realised it until I had a new comparison point
It doesn’t matter if you have a zone defense or cover them one on one, once they hit 2 years old they’re faster than you are and have more stamina too.
That’s true. You think you are being smart by running them around in the afternoon so they’ll sleep well that night - but even if it works the first few times, you’re just building up their stamina…
My second child turned out to be twins, so I went from 1 to 3. But in terms of how much your life changes, the first one is the real groundbreaker. After that, it’s mostly a problem of just having to do more, more often.
I only have one, but looking back, I also think I would have been more willing to let a second baby chill. With one, I worried so much about everything, and felt really guilty if I were less than perfectly responsive. I feel like with a second I would have been a lot more flexible on ways that wouldn’t have hurt at all.
Ya want a challenge, be like a guy in my office and go from 0 to 3. Triplets outta the gate. That poor schmuck’s life is over.
1 to 2 for me, and I did it twice. Both times child number 1 was easy. They slept well straight out of the gate. When they were asleep, we could sleep. On the other hand, both number two children were nightmares. Bad sleepers, bad feeders, tummy problems, etc. then later on they were more aggressive and had bigger tantrums in their twos and threes.