I saw an earlier thread that prompted this question for me. It made me wonder, just what would I do to keep my son safe from harm? As I thought about it, I realized that there isn’t much I wouldn’t do, and also realized that some of those things would have some seriously awful consequences. I hope never to be placed in anything other than speculatory circumstances. I don’t even feel good about disclosing what I think I would/could do. And I realized that what motivates me isn’t an altruistic, nurturing love so much as it is a wholly selfish imperative that eclipses the safety and well-being of anyone other than him.
Am I in a minority here, or do most parents really love their children this insanely much?
I’d guess most do. The trouble is you can forget that what you do to protect your child from harm can end up harming him/her. Part of being a parent is accepting that there are risks in life, and keeping a child in a bubble or hovering over him in a helicopter may be harmful in itself.
Tripolar, those are words of wisdom. I learned that the hard way as a young mother. And my son had much worse consequences for my motherly interference than if I had just allowed things to play out.
The problem I still see for myself, with adult children, is that when one’s children are in jeopardy, be it emotional or physical, it’s difficult for a parent to initially think clearly. Like I said in a different thread, it take some patience to learn to choose your battles carefully. And sometimes - usually in fact - you can’t anticipate unforeseen consequences.
I should have clarified, but wanted to respect the reason why the earlier thread was closed. I was referring to circumstances in which my child would be in mortal danger, such as what happened in Nazi Germany.
Yes, I would die to save my child’s life, no second thought, unless my death would result in circumstances that would not be favorable for my child. Such as, leaving him orphaned without another trust-worthy adult to care for him.
I guess I do have limits after all. If my son intentionally harmed/killed another, I could not cover that up (far less murder another witness, from your scenario) but that isn’t altruism, either. It would be more about the implications of my son getting away with such a grievious act. It would be just as much about protecting him from himself as it would be from the potential of harming others.