Instructions: Determine whether you agree or disagree with the following ten statements. For each “agree,” give yourself one point.
[li]The other side is more ruthless and organized than my side.[/li]
[li]Cable news shows like Tucker Carlson Tonight or The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell are a good way to learn about what’s going on in the world.[/li]
[li]I often refer to old and minor political scandals or gaffes as evidence of why the other side is bad in some way (e.g., 57 states, Guam tipping over, “I can see Russia from my house”, etc.).[/li]
[li]The other side is unique in that it switches its views on the legitimacy of political tactics when it suits them (e.g., support or opposition to judicial filibuster).[/li]
[li]The majority of my side’s politicians are acting in good faith, while a majority of the other side’s are acting in bad faith.[/li]
[li]The other side’s protests and other grassroots political activity are largely determined by wealthy donors.[/li]
[li]I have read a political or historical book by Dinesh D’Souza, Ann Coulter, Michael Moore or Noam Chomsky and thought it was well-reasoned and fairly characterized the facts.[/li]
[li]I have non-ironically used a word like “demonrat” or “rethuglican.”[/li]
[li]When my side doesn’t prevail in a political or electoral fight, it is usually because they did not try hard enough or were not sufficiently pure.[/li]
[li]The extremists on my side only exist as a reaction to the political tactics used by the other side.[/li][/ol]
1: You’re OK, but you’re showing some risk signs. You should probably sign out of your social media accounts for a few weeks. Maybe read a non-political book or two.
2-4: It is nearly certain that you are annoying at Thanksgiving. But you can still turn this around. You probably need to reformulate your media diet a bit and consider some light empathy exercises 20 minutes per day.
5-7: You have advanced stage PDS. But with modern drugs and therapeutic techniques, there is a chance you will make a full recovery. Consider falling in love with a Republican/Democrat.
8-10: I am afraid you have terminal PDS. It is best if your family creates a supportive and non-threatening environment for you while your brain wastes away. Totally unrelatedly, I have some supplements that make you smarter that the other side doesn’t want you to know about! Just send me $29.99…