Party Food Battle Royale

In My Humble Opinion
1

So here come the holidays, and I, jarbabyj couldn’t be more f-ing excited if I tried. By god the fear of being blown up, irradiated, anthraxed, forcibly burka-ed will not prevent me from having my holiday get togethers, of which there is usually four.

So, without further ado, let us help each other prepare for the holidays by posting our favorite ‘quick li’l party foods’, as a way of maybe helping break out of a snack rut. Chips and salsa, chips and salsa, chips and salsa…let’s do something else!

I have two:

8 ounces of cream cheese, whip it up a little bit, so it’s softer and better looking. Put it on a plate. Top it with about a third cup of spicy pepper jelly.

Serve with crackers.

My god, that’s good smack.

and here’s a not so classy, don’t serve at a black tie affair one:

deli ham sliced somewhat thickly. Dry off the slice with paper towels. spread thinly with cream cheese. layer thinly sliced sweet pickles. Roll that mother up and slice it into bite size pieces.

neat o!

jar

2

Rumaki. Yes, it’s 50’s camp, yes, it’s liver and bacon, both of which are bad for you, but its good and even people who don’t like liver like this.
Take a whole mess o’chicken livers. Open and drain a can of water chestnuts. Put a chestnut piece inside each liver (or half-liver). Wrap bacon around it. Broil and brush with teriyaki sauce. Nummy.

Or take the livers and bacon, fry 'em lightly, and whiz it up in a food processor with some onion, thyme, parley and salt & pepper. Pate, baby. Great drinking food, especially with wine.

If you want an alternative to opening a can of mixed nuts, try this: take pecan halves, combine with a third of a cup of brown sugar, half a stick of melted butter, fresh chopped rosemary and a couple shots of Tabasco. Put 'em on a cookie sheet and cook in a 350 oven until the butter/sugar has carmelized lightly. Fricking addictive-even if people don’t like nuts, Tabasco, or rosemary.

Try making your own cheese balls, too-grate strong flavored cheese, like smoked Gouda, vintage Cheddar, or pepper jack, and put it in the blender with some cream cheese and seasonings to taste. You can then either go fancy and chill it in the chape of a nice round ball, covered in nuts, or be lazy and just put in a crock with crackers and bread.

Knorr spinach dip is also a favorite around the _God house-two packages of the Knorr veggie soup, one package frozen spinach, water chestnuts, half and half mayo and sour cream. Blend and serve in a hollowed-out round loaf of bread.

3

Stuff mushroom caps with a mixture of chopped pecans, parsley, garlic, and butter. Put the mushrooms in a casserole dish and drizzle them with a mixture of bourbon (I like Jack) and cream. Bake until the mushrooms are tender, basting occasionally with the sauce. Even the kids like this one - and they sleep really well, too!

4

The classics:

Simple whore’s ovaries:

A select of cheeses
Smoked Salmon with diced onions, hard boiled egg, and capers
Pate de Foie Gras
Salami/sausage
Crackers and/or sliced baguettes

A little more difficult, i.e, in addition to opening packages, you have to mix things together:

Spinach dip (like False_God said)
Clam dip (umm… cream cheese, worcestershire sauce, onions, canned clams, and, um, other stuff. I have the recipe at home if anyone wants it)
Fruit with fruit dip (usually cream cheese mixed with Amaretto or Frangelico)
Guacamole & chips

5

You can mix cooked baby shrimp (or cut up the big ones) with a good cocktail sauce in stead of the pepper jelly.
Artichoke Dip:

1 can artichoke hearts (the ones packed in water), drained
2 or 3 tablespoons Mayonnaise (regular Hellmann’s, not the low-fat/ low-cal kind)
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 cup grated Parmesan Cheese
1/2 package chopped spinach (optional)

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Chop the artichoke hearts; mix in the mayo, lemon juice garlic and cheese. Is the dip creamy? If not, add more mayo.

Turn into a small casserole dish. Bake for about 20-25 minutes, or until dip is bubbly, and golden-brown around the edges.

Serve with crackers and/ or bread.

6

These are the sorts of things that food writer James Beard christened “doots,” aren’t they?
– Uke, backing slowly out of the thread

7

Cheesy? Yes. Fifties? Yes.

Bisquick sausage cheese balls. Take a pound of chub sausage (the hot kind if you have adventurous friends), a pound of grated sharp cheddar, and a cup or two of Bisquick (depends on the moisture in the cheese and sausage). Get your fingers in the cheese and sausage and mix. Then start adding the Bisquick until it begins to clump up. Form into balls about 1 inch, place on an ungreased cookie sheet, and put into a 350 oven until they start to brown and sizzle.

I am generally informed about my wife’s office parties at about 10 pm the night before, and asked if I will make these. Though they are best straight from the oven, they don’t taste too bad when they’re nuked.

8

Yeah, well, if you want to be classy, you can serve yer angels on horseback,yer melon and prosciutto, or yer gougeres de Gruyere, but this simple kind of party food is genuine, pretty good, and fun, above all.

‘Sides which, no-one’s brought up Spam balls, or those things where you mix mayo, bacon and Parmesan and broil it on circles of white bread. Processed cheese has thankfully not made an appearance. I even gave a recipe (or directions) for pate, man. Whaddya want? Why dontcha bring some of that noise instead of bein’ a hater, man?

(Seriously, folks, I’m just dying to see what the Uke-dude whips up for his shindigs. And no, the olive in the Martini does not count as a vegetable.)

Oh-speaking of vegetables–try bagna cauda as a dip at the next party. Heat olive oil and butter in a heavy saucepan, melt anchovy filets, abd about six cloves of garlic. Dip peppers, cardoons, zucchini, bread, fingers, whatever. Good stuff and capable of converting even the staunchest anchovy-hater.

9

Mini Quiches. Frozen. You can get 'em from Sam’s Club. Heat 'em and serve ‘em. Hours o’ fun.

Lox and capers and Carr’s Water Crackers rock, too.

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My variation on the shrimp/cream cheese dip is to mix one can of Campbell’s Cream of Shrimp soup with the cream cheese and add hot sauce to taste.

Another fav we always have is simple boiled jumbo shrimp with a good homemade cocktail sauce – ketchup with a generous amount of horseradish added.

Buffalo wings are also quite tasty – recipes for this one could go on forever…

One of our friends makes a mean layered bean dip too. My versions never taste as good as his though, so I’ll let someone else contribute a recipe tried and true.

11

You caught me. I HATE appetizers. A) they spoil the guests’ appetite for the meal I sweated bullets over; and B) they sop up the booze in the guests’ tummies.

My last dinner party (about ten days ago) was an Indian affair which featured a lamb tenderloin pilaf out of Julie Sahni’s CLASSIC INDIAN COOKING, so you KNOW it meant all day in the damn kitchen…boiling, steaming, AND baking basmati rice; sauteeing the meat, then braising it with spices, then baking it with the rice.

Then there was a curried cauliflower/green pea dish to make, and a mouth-blistering onion relish, a raita of cucumbers and scallions and tomatoes and other stuff in yoghurt, and a dal of red lentils stewed with garlic and fried onion.

What with all this, I was in no mood to prepare a platter of freaking hors d’oeuvres. But the wife LIKES hors d’oeuvres, and dislikes it when the guests keel over from too much alcohol before the dinner gong rings.

So I cheated. I was shopping at the food co-op that morning, and an item in the freezer section caught my eye…pre-prepared samosas, high-calorie bastards filled with potato and peas.

I bunged a dozen of them in the oven, where the pilaf was finishing. A bowl of baked papadums for the ladies, and samosas for the boys.
– Uke, who likes pigs-in-blankets, too

12

My special chicken wings.

A couple dozen wings or so, cover with red wine, throw in a few crushed cloves of garlic, black pepper, a branch of rosemary, and some paprika, let 'em marinate for at least 8 hours. Take 'em out of the marinade and bake 'em at 350 until they’re done (about 20-30 minutes).

Other than that, I’m actually more of a crudite kind of gal–give me some carrots and ranch dip, and I’m a happy camper.

13

Ike: He’s no fun at all, he fell right over.

Mexican Flag Salad
Ensalada de la Bandera
Preparation time: 15 minutes

Serves: 3-6 People
Ingredients:

1 Large can of sardines in tomato sauce
1 Small tin of smoked clams
1 Large white onion
1-3 Jalapeno peppers
1-2 Ripe salad tomatoes
Juice of one lemon
Salt to taste
Preparation:

Finely chop the onion, peppers* and tomato.
Carefully bone out the tomatoed sardines.
Drain the smoked clams.
Add the lemon juice.
Mix all of the ingredients.
Avoid breaking up the salad too much.

Note: This was originally presented with saltine crackers. The combination works well. Corn chips will also work with this recipe.

  • (To adjust the octane of the peppers, remove the ribs and seeds)

Marinated Shitake Mushrooms with Chevre

Preparation time: 40 minutes

Serves 4-6 people

Ingredients:

1 Dozen shitake mushrooms (large flat ones)
4 Cloves of garlic
1/2 Cup of extra virgin olive oil
1/2 Lb. of French or domestic Chevre

Preparation:

One day ahead of time or on the morning before, crush the garlic into the olive oil and mix well. Place the mushrooms in a confined bottle or container and cover with the garlicked oil. Marinate for at least eight hours at room temperature or overnight in the refrigerator.

Drain the mushrooms and bring to room temperature while heating an oven proof skillet on the stove set to medium low heat. Preheat your broiler while you saute the mushrooms. Start the mushrooms gill side down and flip them once they begin to brown or curl at the edges. Continue to saute until they have shrunken by about one quarter of their size. Open the cheese (French Chevre is best and an herbed type may be used if desired but it is not recommended) and place one small coin on each of the mushroom caps. Place in the broiler and watch carefully. You may even turn off the broiler at this point to avoid the chance of burning them.

Drain briefly on paper towels and serve warm. Pairs well with a white Burgundy, Brut Champagne or pinot noir blanc.

Feel free to ask Sue Duhnym how good the mushrooms are.

14

Zenster’s Mushroom recipe reminds me of another appetizer I like to make.

Pick up some ready-made polenta that can be found in the refrigerated pasta section (or you can make it from scratch, making it thick, spreading it 1/2" thick on a sheet tray, and refridgerate overnight before cutting into pieces)

Cut polenta into 1/2" thick wedges (like toast pieces).
Melt a few tablespoons of butter in a medium-hot skillet.
Fry polenta pieces until golden brown and drain on paper towel.
Take fresh Chevre, fresh chopped herbs (thyme is especially good), and a little cream (a tablespoon or two), and blend in a food processor.

Spread cheese onto polenta toast.

Gobble and ask for more.

15

Well mine kinda like Jarbabyj’s Only except with a Texas flare:

8oz cream cheese soft, top with sweet relish and pickiled jalapenios.

Serve with Triscut[sup]tm[/sup] original crackers.

Damn I’m hungy!

16

I see Zenster missed the “quick” portion of my OP. :smiley:

Uke:

What about those of us who have appetizer parties? I have a twelfth night party every january that everyone raves about and it is nothing BUT apps. No silverware, no setting the table, nothing.

It’s a joy, and it keeps people drinking.

Besides, it means I get to cook MORE things :slight_smile:

jar

17

It’s been about 20 years since I made this, so I’m not sure how much sauce to use.

Combine a can of tomato sauce, half a tube of anchovy paste, and some salt and heat. Use this as a vegetable dip.

18

With all the replies, I’m surprised no-one’s mentioned the ur-dip of the 50’s and 60’s-Lipton’s California Dip. aka “Take a envelope of soup and stir it into a thing of sour cream”. I make this about once a year, and while haute cuisine it’s not, it’s still pretty good.

Another good one is baked Brie and its many variations.
Take a good-sized wheel of Brie (Costco sells them for 20 bucks or so ), cut in half horizontally, add good-tasting stuff, wrap in puff pastry and bake until golden. My current favourites are roasted garlic and toasted almonds, but I’ve seen people use dried cranberries or apples.

Sometimes I’ll take sun-dried tomato tortillas, slather then with cream cheese with horseradish mixed into it, then layer with rare roast beef and tomatoes. Roll up and slice into pinwheels.

19

Quick 'n Easy.

Get some see-thru thin slices of prosciutto at the deli counter. While there stop by produce and pick up a canatloupe or two.

Cut melon into bite size pieces (or if you want to get all fancy-schmancy, use that melon baller hiding in your utensil drawer).

Wrap a small piece of prosciutto around each melon piece. Skewer with a toothpick (again, for those of youse in the upper crust, use the toothpicks with the colored cellophane crap on the end).

Enjoy.

20

Bugles! It wouldn’t be a party without Bugles…
and Doritos…

and Pringles. Yes. We must have Bugles, Doritos, and Pringles…

…and Ritz Crackers.