Regular watchers of American Idol know that PAula Abdul, former pop star and now “nice judge” on America’s favourite show, is seriously messed up at least half the time during the show. To one extent or another, Abdul seems, well, stoned, or not with it, or something in every broadcast (the show is live.) She slurs her words, weaves from side to side, has trouble opening her eyes, and sometimes makes no sense at all. Sometimes the symptoms are not so obvious, but sometimes very much so; in one show a few weeks ago she looked like she was going to fall over.
So what is the story? Is there some background to this? Does she havea drinking problem? A drug problem? What?
1-800-ABDUL-01: She’s a boozehound
1-800-ABDUL-02: She’s all favred out on pain killers
1-800-ABDUL-03: It’s a stroke!
Plausible, but the problem has gotten worse instead of better over the years. She’s not the only deterioration: Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacreast make no secret at this point that they have no earthly use for each other; Paula may be self-medicating just to get through the whole thing. The tone this season is cold. I can’t even imagine the truckloads of money the producers use each year to convince these people to work together for one more season each year. The hate on the set is almost tangible.
I’ll use my rotary dial phone to put it at 01-1/2. She’s on something stronger than booze, but I don’t think it’s painkillers.
Paula Abdul looks to me like someone who just doesn’t like conflict. She doesn’t want to do anything that’ll get her booed, smeared, or roasted, and the fact that she has absolutely no say about who gets eliminated is a further disincentive. Unfortunately, her fellow judges have never had any qualms, leaving her mired in a sideshow she wants no part of, week in and week out. Now the other judges are getting tired of the act and becoming unpleasant, which wears on her even more. I’m not surprised at all that she seems out of it.
The show needs new blood. Period. C’mon, how hard can it be to find someone who has fun pushing buttons and stirring the pot?
Yeah, that elimination show a couple of weeks ago was just bizarre, even for Paula. Normally on elimination night she’s bawling and saying that nobody should go home. That night, it seemed she didn’t even know where she was. Sad.
From previous years, I seem to remember her being worse on performance nights, complete with wild dancing during the songs. This year, as noted, she’s been worse during the eliminations.
Given that she suffers from chronic pain, I would think some, if not most, of her loopiness is caused by either the pain or the medication she takes for it.
Whatever the cause, I love to listen to the random nonsense she spouts at those poor contestants.
I think it’s a little bit of everything that’s been mentioned.
I want to like Paula, I do, but sometimes I really want to see Simon punch her lights out. Speaking of those two that’s a strange relationship there. I saw Simon on a talk show and he said that he did think Paula was attractive and he’d do her if she begged him. Maybe they should just do it and get it over with?
I choose Option 5: The whole fucking idea of the show is ridiculous and I won’t watch it, ever, unless someone pays me a lot of money to do it.*
Which, BTW, is why I don’t fault the judges for doing what they do. I’d take the job in a second. I despise every single contestant, though, because the winners sound just like all the other crap on the Jammin Hot Z radio station where Clear Channel pushes the same repetitive, meaningless song at you over and over again all day long. Congrats on the winners, I guess, cause they seem to sell hit records and be successful. Kudos to them for milking the cow of watered-down consumer culture. I’d have to say, though, that I hate everyone who goes on the show and tries for it, and just like I have no respect for pop musicians who all sound the same, I have no respect for anyone who goes on American Idol so that they can sign a record deal and sound the same too.
*But if you like that stuff, that’s fine, have fun! I don’t intend to bash on any Dopers here.
I see where you’re coming from, and on broad principle I agree. I am thoroughly bored by pretty much all mainstream pop music (which, of course, these folks are striving to make more of) and the cookie-cutter, over-processed Barbie/Ken dolls who lip-synch it. But, that said, I truly feel there’s something different about this season. I never expected to enjoy it this much or get so sucked in. Previous seasons I’ve seen bits and pieces and never thought much of the contestants, but I’m so impressed with the vocal abilities and personalities of this year’s bunch. I look forward to them singing each week, and even the sucky ones are way better than I’ll ever be. Also refreshing is that, for the most part, they don’t look like Britney/Usher clones, or whoever the hell is popular these days. Some of them are downright ugly, as my fellow Idol fans can attest!
As far as the judges are concerned, they have become mostly useless. After they stop making the cuts, who needs their vapid non-critiques? All they do is repeat their favorite catch phrases. Simon is the only one to (usually) provide worthwhile feedback, but even he seems bored with it, as DKW points out.
However, I think Simon would be enjoying himself more if the drones in the audience hadn’t been brainwashed into booing at every single thing he says. If I were Simon, I’d be pretty sick of the show encouraging people to shout down every hint of intelligent criticism. But then again, he’s a producer on the show, right? So he must be complicit to some extent. Maybe he thinks it’s good TV. But he’d be wrong.
