Manos, the Hands of Fate is the worst movie ever.
I didn’t see Pearl Harbor, just based on the trailer. When I saw that they’d changed the attack time from dawn to midday, so they could show Zeroes flying past fresh-faced All-American kids playing baseball…
And let’s not forget fighters weaving in between 50*20 openings between buildings on the ground (insert about 1000 rollyeyes here)
I never saw Pearl Harbor in the theaters, knowing full well what a crapfest it was likely to be.
However, in the Spring of my Discontent, when I was unemployed, I did a stint as a substitute teacher at a local high school. Some teachers, instead of leaving actual schoolwork for me to give the kids, would let them watch a movie (don’t even get me started on how Wrong that was…).
Anyway, one teacher decided to bless his students with Pearl Harbor on the day he was out. Classes were 90 minutes long – the plan was that I showed the first 90 minutes of the movie, and he showed the rest of the movie when he returned the next day.
The upshot? I had to watch the first 90 minutes of Pearl Harbor over and over again all day. Do you know when the epic battle occurs in the movie? Well I don’t, because it is sometime after the first 90 minutes. But I got to see that stupid love story over and over.
Worst. Day. Ever.
This is an excellent way to refer to the summer schlock of craptacular movies. Thanks, Miller.
Anywhooo, anyone here suffer through **Wild, Wild West **.
[Sean Connery]
Now, that was a **Guilded Turd **
[/Sean Connery.
I saw Pearl Harbor when it first came out. I posted this over at Fathom.
A good summer movie needs pretty girls, big special effects and a larger than life story. On this level this movie is a winner.
It is only when you try to compare the real history of Pearl Harbor to the movie that it falls down and falls down big time. (check the link there are about 15 items that creat plot holes you could drive a sunken battleship through)
Thank you, Miller for eloquently summing up my exact feelings for 99% of the Hollywood crap foisted on us. You have said it better than I ever could, because when I even think about it too much, my blood pressure rises and I froth at the mouth a little. 
“Lets get them meek bastards NOW!”
Pearl Harbor had some Spitfires in it so it wasn’t all bad. And if that is anything like how the Arizona looked when it blew it was stunning to see.
I’ve heard that Gigli is one of the worst movies ever.
The Affleck/J. Lo one?
The onion experessed a similar opinion.
Saw it? I own the damn thing! Got it in a tape trade along with “The Norseman”, a Viking epic starring Lee Majors who fights Indians in North America.
–Patch