I’m pretty sure my grandmother used to say that. Along with “breaking wind.”
Yes!
“Keep that up gramma and you’ll break more than wind!”
And I hate poop. Sounds like a 6 year old. The proper term is poo. 
The proper term is “load” or “dump”.
When I am in public, I’ve rarely felt the need to explain why I am going to the bathroom. I just say “excuse me for a minute” or something like that. Does anyone really need to know my exact reason for going?
I find that people always want to tell me when they’re going to the bathroom and whether it’s 1 or 2. This goes for friends and also strangers. When I’m at work people will tell me that they’re just going to pee. Why? We have bathrooms and you don’t need permission to use them.
Something that is weird is when people ask, “you don’t have a bathroom here, do you?” Hello, we serve food and alcohol to thousands of people. Of course we have freaking bathrooms.
Doesn’t bother me at all and I say it when I’m around my friends.
However it makes my wife honestly angry at me when I say the word “pee”. I have yet to find out what is acceptable terminology…“Hit the head”? “Urinate”? I’m pretty sure that if I said I was going to “piddle” or “tinkle” she’d stab me with the scissors.
Me and your wife would get along. Why not just say “I have to go to the bathroom/restroom.”
You’d get a grammar lecture for saying “me and your wife” instead of “your wife and I”
Ha. Maybe we wouldn’t get along after all.
Oh, I like that!
At work, we always say that we’re “going to the library”. It has been known to confuse the new folks.
My dad was a gastroenterologist. He always referred to that as a “BM”. “BM” was a noun as well as a verb. My mom still refers to BMs. Even as a kid, that sounded strange to me. I guess I usually say "poop, and more usually avoid saying it.
If they don’t know your reason, they will think you are rude for running off on them. But don’t worry, they know you plan to use the facilities.
When I used to backpack, we would “visit a bush”. Or “have to see mother nature”.
A wonderful expression I have heard from Nigerian tourists asking for the restroom is:
"Where can I ease myself? "
Sounds pretty classy to my ears.
Hah!!!
We use “the library” as a euphemism for the bar I hang out at. It sounds kinda classy when I call my gf and tell her I’m heading to the library and maybe we could meet there later.
As I recall, there was (maybe still is) a bar in the city that is literally “The Library”, and another not far away named “The Office”. As in, “Sorry I’m late getting home, honey, I was stuck at the Office.” And, of course, the bar in my old neighborhood, “The Laundromat” (many people were convinced that it actually had washing machines, I never found out for certain).
Try “break the seal” or “crack open the dam”.
My own hometown has a bar called The Street, another The Traffic Light, there’s also The Park, The Crossing and The Square…
Yes, lots of parents of teenagers are happier thinking their kids are hanging out in a street corner than in a bar, why do you ask?
Translating from Spanish, I like the pairing of “planting a pine tree” with “watering the plants”.
My grandfather used to say “I’m going to see a man about a dog”. The first time I heard that one as a child I got all excited. 'Twas a big letdown when he laughingly explained it to me.
My dad’s straight laced family euphemism for emptying one’s bowels was to “go bang”. No idea where he got that.