So I’m waching this stupid sitcom. I won’t say what because it’s too stupid. But, being a “very special episode” it, like innumerable sitcoms and even more PSA’s, it makes the case against drug use by according it to …peer pressure.
That’s why people do drugs. Because other people want them to.
Uh huh.
I used to do drugs (not anymore). I did them because they made me feel good. That’s what they’re supposed to do. That’s why they cost so much. That’s why I never ran into anyone (particularly my teen peers) who wanted to give away their drugs. Yeah, I guess if you’re around people doing drugs, more likely you’ll indulge. But pressure? Who the hell wants someone else to do their drugs?
In my experience people do drugs because they’re unhappy/want to escape from reality/life sucks.
So I want to know. How much does “peer pressure” really figure into drug use? Or Anything else that gets blamed on PP.
Who the hell wants to to get someone else to do drugs?
Sounds like I’m not the only one watching “Growing Pains” on TV Land right now, eh?
I’ve never done drugs, but have had several addicts as friends back in the day. They may have offered at points but always respected my choice not to do them and never criticized or made fun of me for it (or at least never in front of me).
IMHO, the PSA’s and ads are a shorthand way of saying: You are out with friends. Friend lights a joint and offers it to you. Or friend drops acid and offers it to you. The situation where a total stranger offers to get you high is uncommon, but to young people, knowing how to say no is important.
OK now I’m way more embaressed that I’ve been called out for watching “Growing Pains” then I am for admitting to doing drugs.
But I really want to know…suggestion is a given, but who’s experienced pressure? And who had a problem with not doing when they they didn’t want to, and who did it only because someone told you to (I’ve only experienced “Ya want some of this? No? OK.”) Is this ever really the reason teenagers (or whoever) get into drugs?
Peer pressure isn’t the direct “What? you don’t get high?, Ha Ha! what an idiot you are! Wait till I tell everyone at school.” I think peer pressure can be applied in more subtle, backhanded and manipulative ways with the real pressure ultimitely coming from within.
Suppose you got a group of highschool buddies. A few want to drink/drug to change the way they feel. Drinking/drugging becomes their main identity and their major recreational activity. The other guys in the group got to make a choice- “Do I want to continue to hang out with these guys when all they want to do is hang out at Timmy’s house and smoke weed? I mean I like smoking/drinking a little, but I don’t like it like that.” A lot of kids find it hard to turn their back on their friends (and go find another core group to hang out with), and instead kinda go with the group.
There are also a lot of guys who drink/drug to change the way that they feel and they don’t want to drink/drug alone and they try to get their buddies to hang out and partake like they do. The buddy feels conflicted, they may like the guy, they may like to use a little, but they may not have the same relationship with the drug like the main guy does. They main guy drags the buddy around, looking for weed or coke or whatever while the buddy has to ride “shotgun” and be his drug buddy b/c no one else wants to. They main guy, in attempt to keep his relationship with his buddy cool, tries to get his buddy to use along with him so that it is an activity that both enjoy.
A slightly different angle is the guy who drinks/drugs and he pressures his buddies to party with him to somehow justify that what he is doing is acceptable and OK. This would be more common with older guys.
All have observed all this stuff first hand. I got more situations in which a person who uses can apply pressure in a subtle and manipulative way, but this post is long enough already.
Booze was always my drug of choice. When I was young there was quite a bit of peer pressure to try other durgs. One person was so insistent he actually held a joint to my lips, until I hit (I hit him hard too.)
I was always courteous and said the same thing: No thank you, beer is my drug of choice.
But for some reason there were several people who seemed to think that I needed to at least try some their drugs.
So in my experience, yes, peer pressure plays a role in drug use.
I have done it because someone told me to. She was such a pain in the ass any time you crossed her that everyone just got used to caving in.
Fortunately for me, I only did that once.
Any other drug and alcohol use was so that people would think I was cool.
This is a really important point. Peer pressure can often be largely internal. We want to be like other people, impress other people, fit in. I wish they would teach that to children–not “they will offer you drugs” but “you will want to say yes. Here’s how to avoid the temptation.”
It is possible to resist peer pressure. When I was a teen all my friends told me to avoid drugs but I stood up for myself and tried every drug I could lay my hands on. So I think peer pressure is all in your own head.
I find myself aligning with Mesquite-oh, **Khadaji **and **blueethree **here. Peer pressure is very real. But it doesn’t look much like the stuff on Growing Pains. Y’know which '80’s sitcom got it right? The Cosby Show, when Vanessa and her friends went to see that concert they weren’t supposed to. Peer pressure is when you make little tiny decisions to keep the peace or have a good time with your friends that suddenly wind up kicking you in the ass and you look around and go, “how the hell did THAT happen?”
You’re also underestimating the sort of peer pressure that works such that you do something because “That’s what people do.”
Why do kids drink hot chocolate and adults drink coffee? Why does everyone wear blue jeans? Why don’t adults drink milk? Why would anyone smoke past the point of barfing and gagging to get to the point where they like it? Why would anyone smell alcohol, and proceed to imbibe enough of it such that they would get to the point to like it enough that they’d pay anywhere from four times to several hundred times for a glass of something that gives them the same enjoyment as a glass of coka-cola (which tasted and smelled good from the start)?
Certainly, for some people these things all would have been their first choice. I’ve met plenty of people who thought alcohol was the tastiest thing they’ve ever put in their mouth, right from the start, and I’ve met people who felt the same way about coffee. But most people agree that it didn’t taste good (and sometimes, still doesn’t.)
People aren’t pressured into it. These are just things that are givens, and people would rather go along with it than have to explain why they aren’t doing it as well.
In a classroom, you can punish a student a lot more by having them stand up in front of the class in the corner while you continue to teach, than you ever could by “giving them a talking to”, giving them a bad grade, or even corporal punishment (unless you do it in public.) Humans will go to greater lengths to keep from being embarassed than just about any other thing.
I’m interested in knowing more details about how they tried to persuade you.
The people who have offered me drugs in the past have always shrugged off my “No thanks”, seemingly thinking, “Cool. More for me.” I’ve never had anyone say, “Come on . . . just try it. Come on . . .”
What did these people say to you? Was it more that they wanted to share a “good experience” with a friend, or was it because they looked down on you because you wouldn’t partake?
There was any and all of that.
The usual nonsense:
C’mon, a man would.
Just try it, what are you afraid of?
Here, you don’t have to sniff any coke, but just put the wrapper in your mouth. See if you get high off of it.
The appeal to logic:
Pot is no worse for you than beer.
Pot is BETTER for you than alchohol.
Wanna lose weight? Try speed and beer, it is the perfect diet for you!
And of course, as I said, I remember a guy who actually held a joint to my lips thinking I would have to inhale sometime.
It isn’t too different in the drinking crowd - heck, I think the drinkers are worse: C’mon, drink it you wuss. You haven’t had much at all.
My experience now is, either people grow up, or I have grown in my choice of friends.
I am an ornery sort and responded to peer pressure in my contrarian fashion; ‘because everybody does it’ is pretty much a dumb reason to do things. I’ve never even taken a drag of a cigarette and never been drunk.
However, I’ve been in situations; oddly, more so as an adult than when I was younger, in which it was made abundantly clear that I was Not Cool because I didn’t think going out to a bar to get blotto sounded like a good time. I also participated on a forum whose membership changed over time; the newer crowd consisted of many people who regularly drank and used drugs and they, too, made it be known that only people who enjoyed chemical recreation were truly cool. In fact, I was pretty surprised to see how large a percentage of the active members were users.
Having said all that, I did embark on learning to like both coffee and beer because they are universal experiences, it seemed, and having one of either is fairly harmless. I managed to find varieties of both that I do actually enjoy and found that it did ease social relations a bit.
What has been most astonishing to me is that people felt defensive and almost upset when I chose not to join them on their forays out to watering-holes even though I took pains to decline in a friendly manner and made no remarks indicating that I don’t really think it’s a very interesting pastime. It seemed to me that many of these folk still felt they were doing something ‘bad’ and projected that onto me, reading my refusal of their invitations as rejection. I think a lot of people still require peer approval; that someone joins you in an activity signals tacit approval so refusal appears the opposite, I guess.
If it makes you feel better, the only reason I knew this is because I, too, was watching it at the time. Word is that Boner didn’t go to the bathroom and he doesn’t want to.
I just wanted to come in to echo Khadaji, although not in relation to drugs. I was never a drinker in high school or university, and the pressure to get into that side of things is enormous. Every social event is based around alcohol, and people wonder what’s wrong with you if you’re not drinking with everyone else. Of course, drinking is (I presume) more common and accepted than drug use, but I would imagine that in certain circles the same things would apply. Also, being the only non-high person at a party doesn’t exactly maximise one’s enjoyment or feeling of acceptance, but I’m not sure it’s really fair to call that ‘peer pressure’.
On preview, Quiddity Glomfuster’s (cool name by the way) experience mirrors mine in many ways. In particular the last paragraph about being defensive: I think it’s because on some level people consider drugs/alcohol/whatever to be ‘bad’ even though they like it and have no problem with it - that is, it’s referred to as a vice, even though a lot of people don’t think there’s any moral/ethical downside. So, when people say “no thanks, not my thing” it’s easy to sound like “no thanks, I don’t do that because it’s bad”.
EDIT: I don’t personally watch Growing Pains - it’s not my thing - but I don’t have a problem with other people watching it. Oh, who am I kidding?
I’ve never been a drinker, or smoker or anything like that.
I tried cigarettes when I was 10 'cause I wanted to be cool like my older brother, but quickly decided he was an idiot. I still don’t get how anyone could smoke enough to like it.
After I got old enough to start thinking for myself, I didn’t give in to the peer pressure, and I did have a lot of “friends” hassling me to drink or smoke weed. I heard a lot of “oh come on” “it’ll be fun!” “just try it, would ya?”. The one time I tried pot, it was from more of an academic standpoint. I wondered what the hell the big damn fuss was all about. I still wonder what the big fuss is about.
I don’t drink, and regularly get picked at because of it. I’ve lost “friends” because they wouldn’t back off and leave me to my non-alcoholic drinks. I still get teased, even by people twice my age! Alcohol and coffee are two taste sensations I’m happy to do without, regardless of “what people do”.
So, that was a bit of a ramble, but my point (I do have one, honest) is that there are quite a few people that will harass and pressure others, trying to convince them to do drugs. I saw them every day when I was in school, and I have a feeling they’ve simply grown into adults that harass others about drinking.
This was my experience with peer pressure and drugs. I had a best friend in the 6th grade. In the second half of the 6th grade, she started experimenting with cigarettes (and I don’t know what else since I didn’t attend any of these sessions). In the 7th grade, she told me that if I didn’t smoke dope with them, she couldn’t be my friend anymore. So that’s how I lost my best friend in 7th grade. And she took most of my other acquaintances with her. That was peer pressure at an extreme level, for me at least.
