Pegging the Needle of Today's Dumbass-O-Meter

When you’re gonna drive an ice cream truck with music blaring from the roof, don’t toss an empty beer can on somebody’s lawn. It won’t work out for you, especially if your BAC is 3x the limit, and you’re a registered sex offender. :smack: Story here.

That’s just…

I’m simultaneously stunned by the stupidity, and sadly, not surprised at all. This country truly IS going to hell in a handbasket. Wow…

Am I the only person, besides Michael Jackson, who isn’t a sex offender?

Well, if you’re lookin’ to change that I know of an upcoming police auction where you can get a great deal on a kid-attracting ice-cream truck.

This reads like a story out of the Onion.

"Dude gave me a ticket, gotta’ pay it 'cause the bossman says it’s my fault… "

Un-fucking-believeble.

I don’t know what’s more sad…that something like that happened, or that I was fully expecting the link to be to the newspaper of one of the cities I live near because I could totally see it happening there.

Now hang on, let’s not be too harsh. My ice-cream truck guy used to be that dumb…

Yeah, but maaaan, who doesn’t try to make a little scratch on the side when you’ve got the truck and a bunch of extra inventory? Wait, hang on, I mean: maybe he was just lost! It happens, you know?

No, forget what I said before. This guy is a total goddamn moron.

So you say. :dubious:

Hey, that’s right in my neck of the woods. (Milwaukee Wi)
Does NOT suprise me in the least that it came out of Waukesha though.

Ice cream trucks are the same as clowns. They both scare the hell out of me.

I’m pretty sure that to be a sex offender you have to be having the sex.

Or that I thought the thread was going to be about Mr. Ding-a-Ling* in Troy, NY who was touching some kids last year.

*Yes, an ice cream man.

It puts a whole new perspective on the Eddie Murphy line, “THE ICE CREAM MAN IS COMING!!!”

Ruuuuunnnnnn!

I’ve got friends in Milwaukee and this is gonna be soooo great!

Umm… yeah. Don’t most people go around giving thier Ice Cream Men beers?

What could be better for keeping your beer cold wile driving around than putting it in with the ice cream?

OH

MY

GOD

[QUOTE=Zebra]

[quote]
I said, `It’s a good thing I’m anal,’" she said. “I told all the kids that I saved them all from the bad guy.”

Somehow, I don’t thik the kids see it that way. I think they’ll see her as “the witch who got the ice cream man fired!” I expect her home to be covered in eggs come the first of November.

No, getting caught masturbating in a car in a public parking lot qualifies.
Wasn’t me. Was a friend.
Really.
No, really.

Dating Katie Holmes and not having sex with her would make you a sex offender for sure!

Hola, amigos. What’s goin’ on? I know it’s been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I’ve like totally been hassled by the Man after my new Ice Cream truck gig. You see, me and my buddy Ron were chillin with some cold MGD and some fine spliffs, when Ron says “hey, let’s get some Malt Liquor.” And then Wes is like “Let’s take the truck! We can earn some scratch and chill the suds at the same time!” So then…

This is not so far-fetched. Why, I just saw someone last week on Cops who explained why he was caught with a bag of crack - a guy gave it to him, and he had to hold onto it because he didn’t want to just discard it where kids might get ahold of it.

Makes sense to me!
What comes after “M”, dude?