At about 6:45 the other evening, I was driving with my daughter up Pico Boulevard in West Los Angeles. Slowing for the stoplight at Overland, in front of the Westside Pavillion (a shopping mall for you out of towners), I hear some honking behind me. A small white car pulled up to a stop, about three cars back from the light. A big black Mercedes pulled up next to the white car, in the right turn lane, and stopped. The driver rolled down his window, and was yelling and gesturing at the occupants of the white car. Evidently not satisfied with the response, the driver of the big black Mercedes (“Mercedes Man”) opened the car door and stepped out. Mercedes Man was a fairly good sized guy, dressed in a suit with no tie, maybe 35 years old. After yelling at the white car some more, he got back in his car, yelled out the window some more, and then got back out of his car. At this point a young guy, early 20’s at most, about as tall as Mercedes Man, but not as heavy, gets out of the white car (“The Kid”). More yelling, gesturing, etc. The Kid takes a swing at Mercedes Man, they fall back on the hood of the Mercedes, they end up on the sidewalk wrestling. The light changes, I look at the woman in the car next to me, evidently calling the cops on her cell phone. I look at my 8 year old daughter, who has not even noticed that anything is going on. I ease on the accelerator, and drive away. As we pull away, my daughter finally notices the two guys rolling around on the sidewalk, and asks what they’re doing. “They are fighting”, I answered. “Why?” “Because they are idiots.”
There isn’t enough bullets in the world… :rolleyes:
In a just and fair world, the idiots of the OP would have rolled, wrestling away, directly into traffic, where they’d promptly be run right over by an SUV or two. Preferably a Hummer.
… being driven by a bishop, who could later claim “I thought I’d run over two rocks.” And when the jury looks at the cranial density of the combatants, it will be forced to agree that his assessment was valid.
But if this same incident had occured between the pilots of two Zeppelins, and the was at least one explosion, you’d have the makings of a great summer blockbuster film! 
Don’t do that! :eek: :eek:
Man, you guys should check out Paris sometime. Among the more memorable incidents I witnessed:
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Two guys screeching to a halt at the traffic light just up the street from my apartment. After a bit of arguing, both get out of their cars; after a little more argy-bargy, one aims a kick at the other’s left taillight. Crunch. So the other kicks in his opponent’s front fender. Then the first guy starts on the other’s door, etc. After a couple of minutes of this, both get back in their now-demolished vehicles and roar off.
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Same intersection; guy who takes exception to someone jumping the light forces the interloper to the curb, then gets out, runs over and punches the other driver in the face through the open window. Unfortunately for him, the whole thing is witnessed by three cops (standard for walking the beat there), who immediately run up and start working the dumbass over with their rubber batons. All this while the idiot’s two preschool-age children look on from their car.
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Same intersection again(!) Another driver actually attacks a fireman on a call(!!!), causing head injuries severe enough that the authorities call in a medevac by helicopter. Landing the chopper in the middle of a busy intersection, just as a thunderstorm broke overhead, was quite an event in it’s own right.
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Near Bastille on a very crowded Saturday night; a government Renault sedan is stuck in traffic. The back-seat occupants, a middle-aged couple in evening dress, order the driver to use the lights and siren, as if that’s going to do any good; the street was jammed solid. The guy ahead gets out his car, sees who’s doing the hooting, and starts shouting, “Imposters! You’re not the fucking police! Shut that thing off!”, etc. Everyone on the sidewalk starts laughing. They shut off the lights and hooter.
I’ll tell ya, they take no prisoners there.
El Kabong, the hilarious stupidity evident in your first story, and the poetic irony in the second tripped two sequential switches in my brain’s humor section and for some reason made me laugh until ironic tears welled in my eyes. Thanks.
After seeing that, I am now seriously disturbed.
Thank you. The evening will be much better.
Vlad/Igor
Reason #4692347 Why I’m Glad I No Longer Live in Los Angeles.
Robin
No matter where you go, there will be morons. I once saw a guy in Berkeley perform the following maneuver in front of me: From the left lane, he swerved sharply all the way across two more lanes into a parking area sort of indented from the street, then out again. He signalled a right turn onto the next cross street, then changed his mind and cut straight across to the left turn lane, then decided to go straight through the intersection after all. On the far side, he had another thought rebounding on the inside of his empty skull, which caused him to make a U-turn through a break in the center island, then veer off to the right onto the cross street. The only reason he didn’t cause multiple accidents was because it was late at night and he and I were the only drivers, and I was staying way the hell away from him.