You're going to kick my ass?

How quaint.

After all, it’s standard practice amongst adults to kick one another’s ass when disagreeing. Besides, you’re fully entitled to deliver violence upon my body simply because you can’t get your Lincoln Navigator around me on a narrow road to turn right when I need to go left.

I guess you didn’t feel like a total fucking fool when you followed me into the parking lot of the DMV and procedded to rant at me for being in the “wrong lane” of a two lane road. Funny, I was under the impression that you could only be in the right lane of a two lane road without breaking the law. Learn something new every day.

Most interesting of all is that you chose to follow me for 10 minutes so that you could, of all things, holler at me about how late you were. Hmmm. Could it be that you’re just a fucking idiot? I have a feeling I’m onto something there.

In any event, I apologize. And I understand that I was ever so lucky that you were in a hurry and didn’t have time to “kick my ass.” Whew, what a close one that was. It’s not every day I’m lucky enough to avoid getting my ass kicked by an old man.

Then again, maybe you were the lucky one.

Because gramps, I’ve been in many many fights both in the ring and out, and I’d have dropped your ass like a three foot putt.

Merry Chirstmas!


I can’t drop a three foot putt.

I can’t either, but it’s a beautiful simile!

Maybe … drop you like a three inch putt.


That should be putts.

Heh, reminds me of the time this asshole cut me off and slammed on his brakes, forcing me to stop. He hopped out of his truck yelling that he was going to break his foot off in my ass.

Then I got out of my car.

He closed his mouth and hopped right back into his truck and drove off.

At the time, I was far too angry to be amused by this, but I got a chuckle out of it later.