Crappy drivers--I pit this jackass on the freeway

The BBQ Pit
1

So check it, I was driving along on the 1, I dunno, right after the 4th or so (I can’t remember, I was still pretty drunk) and this fucking guy comes up from the on ramp and totally tries to jack my fast lane. Cuts right in front of me and forces me to use my brakes! I was towing a couple wicked jet skis I won off some dude on the beach in a contest of strength. I might have scratched the paint!

Well, I ain’t no bitch. I’m not letting some jackass get up in my fast lane and drive the fucking speed limit. You don’t just get to flip on a signal and think you get your way bro. Real men don’t use signals. So first I whip around him and try to run this asshole off the road. If he was a real man he would have taken the body shot and proven his manhood by staying in the lane and not losing control. But of course he’s a bitch and hits his brakes. So I flipped him off. I proved I won, I’m the stronger man. That was the end of it.

Then he FLIPS ME OFF!!! WHAT THE FUCK???

Well that shit ain’t gonna fly partner! So I pop on the cruise control and recline my seat so I can get in my tool box in the back seat. Don’t worry, I’ve got the wheel with my knee, I’m a pro. I grab something metal. I think it’s called a wrench, I don’t know, and I put that shit through his window!! YEAH! Shit was epic bro!

Well I think that pussy called the cops or something. Honestly, the nerve of these fucking chumps. Well if he doesn’t want to be a man and step out the car and have a contest of strength with me, then I’m out. So I bailed. Good luck with the insurance sucker!

So who else had to teach somebody a lesson lately?

2

Jet skis are for fags.

3

Now now, that’s really unfair to fags. Jet skis are for douche bags.

4

“Teaching someone a lesson” on the highway is being a jackass.

5

I laughed. My first thought upon seeing the thread title was “unless you got hit by a ratchet, you got nothing to complain about.”

6

I’m assuming this thread is a parody of some sort. Is there a link that would explain what the hell he’s talking about?

7

I know, but every time I shoot at them, they call the cops, and next thing you know, I’m involved in a high speed chase. It’s getting harder and harder to beat those damn helicopters.

8

I believe the OP is humorously reversing the roles by impersonating someone who physically assaulted him on the freeway.

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Bravo!!!