Road Rage—I pit the guy who smashed my window on the highway

The BBQ Pit
1

Do you really think that was appropriate or safe, even if you think I cut you off?

On Rte 1 North just north of Dover, DE driving back from the beach on July 5th, someone threw a ratchet through my car window while we were traveling about 60-65 mph on a crowded highway.

Apparently, a guy towing jet skis with his truck was upset I merged in front of him off the on ramp. He moved over to the left lane and so did I to get in the fast lane; I signaled and saw him in my mirrors and over my shoulder and he was a few car lengths behind me so I don’t think I cut him off. But…

He switches to and speeds up in the right lane and then starts swerving into the left lane, repeatedly coming with inches of my car like he wanted to force me off the road. There’s no left shoulder and we’re doing highway speed and the road is full off traffic leaving the beaches.

He gives me the finger and so I return it (and I realize this escalated it).

He gets stuck temporarily behind a slower car in the right lane then passes it and comes up again on me in the right lane. The next thing I hear is a loud BOOM! and shattering glass from my rear passenger window.

I think he shot out my window and grab my cell and dial 911. He drops back and takes the next exit. The dispatcher tells me to drive to an upcoming State Police barracks.

After I get there and park, I find a ratchet laying on my backseat amidst the glass.

WTF? This is what you do? What if that ratchet had bounced off my car onto the highway and into the windshield of a car behind me?

You have serious anger management issues.

And no, I didn’t get the license plate (I don’t think he had a front tag and he was behind me the whole time) and after I thought it was a gunshot, I wasn’t interested in a closer look. I gave the ratchet to the police for fingerprints but I’m not holding my breath to hear anything. I guess if I had lost control of my car and crashed, it would be a different story.

2

Was it a nice ratchet? Because hey, free ratchet.

3

Well, I guess I could ask the State Police if I could have it after they print it, if they even bother.

I believe the legal precedent is “Finders vs. Keepers”.

My insurance company said that because his car didn’t actually cause the damage, I am ineligible for the lower uninsured motorist deductible.

4

But if they catch him, in some states, it can be jail time.
Maybe you’ll get lucky and they will actually check it for prints and they will actually lift something and they will find a match…doubtful, but you can always hope.

5

What a son of a bitch!

Glad you lived to tell the tale.

6

It’s actually prolly a felony. Remember the McMissile case?

7

Maybe you “wandered out, into the Wasteland”?

8

or even luckier, someone behind him witnessed it and called it in with the plate number.

9

Or worse, he’ll call back to check on the case and the cops will say “Forget it Jake, it’s Chinatown”

10

OOoooh, I like how you think! I’m hoping the same thing.

And you might be surprised about how much they pursue this, cops sometimes take such things to heart. Mostly because, y’know their teenage daughter drives in that county/on that road, whatever. Besides which, this kind of idiot, seems to have a better than average chance of having come in contact with the police before. You never know.

But mostly, as horrified as I was to read your story, I am happy to hear that you are okay. Quick go buy a lottery ticket, days don’t get much luckier than this, my friend.

11

Shitty story, and count me as one who is glad nothing worse happened. You could have easily caused a huge pile up if you lost control on rt. 1 during beach traffic. One window is by far not the worse thing that could have happened. With that said, it shouldn’t have happened at all and I hope they catch the guy.

Your insurance company, like all insurance companies, sucks major moose cock. Anyway they can get around paying a claim, they’ll do it. So, if you are bored, get your ratchet back, go visit your insurance company parking lot and take one side window out of each car there.*

Hey, your car didn’t cause it! I guess they’ll have to pay for it out of pocket!

  • Not recommending illegal behavior. Please only do in areas that permit this.
12

Is your car covered for acts of vandalism or break-ins?

13

Ah, Route 1 – in summers I teach a class for the UD down in Dover, so I get to enjoy the twice-daily commute down from Newark for a few weeks. There are days when I feel as if I’ve somehow taken a wrong exit and ended up in the last lap of the Indy 500, especially going north towards the Roth Bridge toll booth. As a veteran I-95 commuter, I actually find 1 relaxing, but there are days when it’s hair raising; summer’s the worst with the beach traffic.

It makes you wonder though – for the first week of my commute, I had a non-functional driver’s side window (motor burned out), so at the tollbooth I had to stop and open my door to hand the toll to the attendants; at least twice the poor person waiting for my dollar looked absolutely terrified I was leaping out of the car to do some mischief, and I’m about as intimidating as Hello, Kitty.

If you want some truly harrowing Delaware driving, cruise down S New Street in Dover; I have to do work at the Johnson Victrola Museum sometimes, and I avoid as much of New St (where the museum is located) as possible – last time I naively took that route, mid-week, mid-morning (having forgot a previous trip when at a stop sign my car was surrounded by a group of guys who started banging on the hood of the car), I drove straight into a drug bust (police were letting people in thinking that it was a good way to catch customers.) It was fantastic to be sat for about 10 minutes (which felt much longer) surrounded by screaming, angry people yelling at the police.

Glad you’re safe; that must have been scary, dasmoocher.

14

I’m actually impressed he was able to hit your window accurately and hard enough to break it while driving 60 on the freeway

But yeah, I’m glad you’re alright, and those kinds of people need to be locked up. I’ve had my own share of road rage moments, the worst of which simply entailed me blocking the bike lane so a stupid driver couldn’t use that as her own personal express lane during traffic.

15

Road rage is scary. Anger management classes should be mandatory in order to get a license.

16

Like this, for example.

You never know if the guy you’re giving the finger to is a schizophrenic ex-Marine with a gun who hears a voice telling him to kill you.

17

Well, aside from being glad you’re not hurt, I hope that was the guy’s best ratchet and he’s reeeeally regretting throwing it at you now.

18

Even without the license plate number, I should think it wouldn’t have been that hard for the highway patrol to track down a guy in a truck towing jet skis on the freeway. There can’t have been that many of them.

19

I hope that is hyperbole. Do you need anger management classes? I think that, when I get angry, I handle it very well. I’ve only killed 6 people in road rages. That’s only about 1 every 5 years. I don’t need some headshrink witchdoctor to tell me I’ve got a good handle on things.

ETA: That’s how you do hyperbole. Make sure it is so over the top that only the most dense won’t see it’s obvious.

20

Lesson number one: never issue, nor return the finger while driving. Some people are morons, and it’s not worth the hassle.

Glad you lived to tell us about it.