I hope you make it pretty lumpy and leave the skins in !
mmm…taters with skins !
I had decorated a sheet cake for a big event for my father and needed a big, flat, safe, cool place to hide it overnight. I had covered it in plastic and double-wrapped it in another large bag, but something like that just isn’t really pest-proof, and the size prevents putting it in the refrigerator.
My brother’s wife (known by my family as the Nutri-Hag for her incessant, narcissistic, overblown pontificating on her pet subject) suggested we put it on an open shelf over their basement stairs.
I said “We’d better not, just in case of mice.”
OH NO I DI’INT!!!
Oh yes I did, and she flipped right the fuck out.
Apparently I implied that she is a filthy, lazy slumlord.
Not that there could ever be mice in their 60-year-old cape with a dirt basement & stone foundation, like everyone else has here in New England. As if I hadn’t seen their cat catching them in the living room for fuck’s sake.
Jesus, bitch. Believe me, if I’m going to insult you, it’ll be because you’re a fucking insufferable, pompous twat, not because you happen to have mice in your house. Idiot.
And a screw.
This one is just too funny. 
Heck yeah! There was this older and fairly hot lady (in what we call today a Cougar sort of way) I worked with. She was also vain as the day is long.
We were talking about something to do with WWII, and I meant to say “don’t you remember your history?” Instead it came out “don’t you remember?”
Her eyes became ice cold coals of pure anger. “I wasn’t around back then!” she snapped, and if I was a Mantis, I would be as dead as a doornail.
I tried to explain what I meant, but she held it against me (covertly) for the rest of the time we worked together.
Man, you nailed him through the heart. That is up there with asking a Japanese person (native) if he/she is Korean.
Well played!
Your MIL is my ex-wife???
Wow, small world 
I must be slipping. Why didn’t I come up with that? :eek:
I honestly was not trying to be flip. I figured it was a good analogy.
Kiwi’s sound like Aussie’s to my ear because I am not familiar enough with both accents to detect the difference. Canadian / American to a Kiwi = same same.
While I was taken aback at how offended he was, he was just some drunk in a bar so I didn’t worry too much.
My mom was talking to her brother’s wife, a woman who is hyper religious to say the least. At some point, Mom said, “Good luck.” To this, the wife replied, “WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?”
She took offense because Mom didn’t say “I’ll pray for you” instead of mentioning luck.
Does Kiwi mean from New Zealand? I thought it was just a really cute bird.
Many years ago, I was an a bar listening to a buddy o’ mine’s band. I was sitting at a table with this girl I had met earlier in the evening, and seriously rockin’ my socks off to some excellent —and very, very LOUD— music.
At about 2:30, I figured it was near time to wrap up the evening. I tried to tell my new friend that it was getting late, and ask her if she’d like to go get a bite to eat somewhere. The band was soooooo loud that she couldn’t hear me, even shouting into her ear from a couple of inches away. Finally I tried to mime it; I squinted, opened my mouth in a big fake yawn and covered my mouth with my hand.
The girl made a sudden shocked/pissed-off face, knocked my drink over into my lap and stormed off, flipping me off behind her back as she stomped away.
After a minute, it dawned on me that my hand had been slightly cupped when I reached up to pantomime my faux yawn. What I though was a great non-verbal “…it sure is getting late, yeah?” was unfortunately misinterpreted as “…I sure would like a blowjob, Sweetheart.”
Maybe you should have left your socks on; you were sending mixed messages.
I guess you had to have been there. I think we’d taken the question too literally. She started off the conversation with, “Is there something out there I can sit on?” We’d had the table removed from the patio the week before because it was warping (it was a wood picnic table). The answer was that, no, nothing was there, but we were happy to move something there for her. We tried to make sure she was aware that it was no problem. Heck, she was nice enough to make us dinner - the last thing we would want to do is make her uncomfortable. Free meals I don’t have to cook are hard to come by. Anyway, it was not normally a comment she would’ve taken to heart, but all of us were in a bad mood, especially me and my mom. I’d had a long day at work and was dealing with a shrieking kid. Plus, mom clearly didn’t feel like cooking, even though she refused any help, even when I tried to take over so she could relax. It was one of those nights where nothing went right and everything everyone said seemed to come out wrong.
Oh no, let’s not start that again… (speaking of weird things people get offended at!)
At least he didn’t think it was a fruit.
I’m a she. And I genuinely didn’t know! Sorry.
You: I said they need to make this place wider.
Her: Oh! I thought you said…
You: <interrupting>…because you’re so damned fat.
I do beg your pardon. Obviously your screen name is no help at all. :smack:
Don’t apologize – you’ve done nothing that any rational person could possibly take offense at.
Probably.
Nah. It’s really her only bad point. I’ve learned how to reset her trigger when she runs off the rails on some random thing. The worst though is when she gets mad at the kids for something and I don’t jump in and be mad at them too.
Otherwise we get along well. She’s hot and likes to have sex too which helps.