The other day I’m at work speaking to a coworker of mine. In our conversation, I referenced my GF, only I didn’t call her my GF, I called her my wife! I realized what I had done as soon as I said it and corrected myself. After a good chuckle at my expense, it got me to thinking:
GF/BF is an okay term for people in their 20’s or younger. It might even be okay for people in their 30’s. But not for people forty and above, that just seems silly. It doesn’t feel right to me.
Surely there’s got to be a better term.
[Okay, maybe I’m being “age-ist”. Surely there has got to be a better term for ALL folks to use.]
We live together and have a son, but we are not engaged or married. I alternate between partner and husband. He alternates between girlfriend (increasingly rare), fiance and wife. Neither of us like boyfriend/girlfriend and significant other is just too formal.
I sometimes call my romantic partner my ladyfriend. But mostly I just refer to her by her name and don’t feel the need to quantify our relationship status.
We’ve lived together for around ten years and were in a monogamous relationship for a few years before that. We aren’t betrothed. I switch between gf, so, ball&chain, and wife depending on audience.
My gf often refers to me as her husband, and has a complete backstory on hand when needed, describing our romantic Caribbean beach wedding.
Before we were married my wife called me either, “My guy” or “Old What’s His Name.” I referred to her in sort of a classical style as “My lady.” Also as, “Um, um, ah…you know, What’s Her Name.”
I can see how ‘boyfriend" and "girlfriend’ sound like it’s for the young but dating is sort of a thing for the young too so if you are doing it you may as well act young. They seem like human terms.
“Significant other” is a dull, horrible, language killing term that makes me think we are living in a distopian bureaucracy run amok. It should only be used when filling out form h43-112-B. At least play with the term by changing it to ““intransigent bugger” or magnificent hugger” or even “insignificant smother.”
I like “beau” and “vixen” although it’s a bit dramatic. “My dear…” is more natural although, no, that isn’t saying you’re a small moose and if it leads to being called “my honey bunny” that is a bit too cute. I’d rather be called a crustacean. So, yeah, maybe “crustacean” and “mergirl” are the terms to move onto next. The important thing is to keep things fresh.
It’s not ideal, but it’s a perfectly cromulent phrase. We use it for my father-in-law’s partner, since they’re never going to get married. They’re widow/widower and it describes their relationship to a T. I don’t know if they use it for each other, but all his kids use Significant Other or just use her name to describe them.
I prefer to use “girlfriend” or “old lady”; I don’t mind being referred to as “boyfriend” but kind of prefer “old man”. My last GF had a similar sort of quirky/hippie ethos, so those terms worked for us. YMMV.
