Well, we’re coming up on lunchtime at your workplace DigitalC, any updates?
He ups the ante with something dangerous, like ipecac or ExLax. Now we’re in assault territory, and then it can be taken to HR and appropriate action taken. It is not in the lunch thief’s interest to escalate this.
No, but then he ain’t the sharpest stick in the pile.
But no one knows who he is. No one can take any action against him at all.
On what do you base this statement?
Curious, what did the signs and requests actually say?
I am addicted to this topic!
An iStab.
Hey DigitalC, have you talked to HR about this?
I like the idea of putting some ink or food dye in the wrapping of the sandwich. In such a way that picking up the sandwich out of the bag would dye the persons hand.
But I say talk to HR first and let them know. They may tell you there’s some reason not to do it, but they may just be prepared to take action when the dye is cast . . .
ETA: Do not tell them about the cat food, no matter how sympathetic they may seem.
Horrible thought, what if it’s one of the IT guys, and they are reading this thread?!?
This is getting tedious. I’m not questioning *why *he did it. I’m questioning *whether *he did it. Do you see the difference?
How in the world can he be working while living rent and utility free and not be able to afford a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter? How can he be so hungry he is forced to steal yet throw away perfectly good food? Why does he say “I don’t know” when asked a direct question about the situation? Why does he say that he wasn’t allowed to take food from the group home? He wasn’t allowed to steal lunches, but he claims he did it. The whole story is bullshit.
Apologizing to anonymous posters on a message board for an act committed twenty years ago to different people entirely is no apology at all. It simply isn’t. Try apologizing to some stranger on the street for stealing your neighbor’s lawnmower and see if that makes it OK.
suspense!
Don’t quit your day job, Sherlock. :rolleyes:
This summer, my 15 year old son did a number of cool projects. He made me a little clock using an Altoids tin, for one.
He also read about prison life in some sorta scared-straight exposee. Which lead to him making a shank out of an old toothbrush and electrical tape.
I was proud and freaked out all at the same time. 
Pithy. Go to the head of the peanut gallery.
So you think he came into a thread about lunch stealing, decided to make up a big false story about how he stole lunches 25 years ago as a kid and now feels bad about it…and…what? What would be the point of making up such a story? Or perhaps you believe he likes to regulary make up mildly interesting and relevant stories out of pure boredom?
And if it is all a big giant lie in order to fool us morons, why the fuck do you care so much?
So you think nobody ever made shit up on a message board? Really?
Why do you?
That’s nice, but somehow I doubt the other people who share the communal fridge want your self-proclaimed sandwich wrapping skills to be the determining factor as to whether or not the fridge ends up smelling like dog crap.
The problem isn’t that it’s rude. The problem is that it’s rude to the innocent third-parties who have to share that fridge. By doing this, you are potentially screwing a bunch of random people out of their lunches (or worse, having them bite into their lunches only to discover they’ve picked up a bit of that dog shit flavor). Some of them might even get sick after finding out after the fact that their lunch that they’ve finished eating was in the same fridge as dog shit. In short, that makes your actions as bad or worse than the damn thief that you’re trying to screw over.
This thread has plenty of options that would serve your need for vengeance without screwing over all the other innocent people that use the fridge. Hell, most of them would work better given that there’s a good chance a thief will smell the dog shit before taking a bite.
I agree, and the thought of someone stealing my lunch infuriates me, too. However, the thought of someone sticking dog shit in the fridge where I keep my lunch infuriates me a hell of a lot more.
THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU ARE FUCKING UP OTHER PEOPLE IN THE PROCESS. Just as the thief is fucking you out of the lunch that you worked so hard for, you’re potentially fucking all the other people out of their lunches. That makes you just as wrong.
If the warning label on Dave’s Insanity Sauce is to be believed, its use could really hurt someone. Better to stick with cat food.
Phase 3 … Profit!
If it’s legitimately definable as assault, the company (if it’s worth its salt) will make damn sure they find out who this person is in order to keep their own collective asses off the grill.