We have WHITE carpeting in our new house, and I would never dream of asking anyone to take off their shoes when they come in. I don’t care if it is pouring rain outside. That’s why vaccuum cleaners and carpet shampoos were invented.
I think it is rude to expect someone to take off their shoes. Ranks up there with stupid traditions like the “good” silverware and china, or “guest” soap no one is supposed to use, or guest towels or any of that crap.
A house is to be lived in. So live in it.
That must be what Canadians mean when they say “walking aboot”, eh?
Please tell me how I have been any more “rude” than anyone else who has responded to this thread.
What’s the matter, other people’s stinky feet got you in a bad mood? Or perhaps you’re just worn out from vacuuming yet again.
Well it was just brilliant! I really am going to start calling them “hells”.
I have a question for those of you who are in areas where slippers are provided, either in private homes or doctors, restaurants, etc. Are these brand new slippers or are they used? I find the idea of putting on used slippers highly repugnant. New slippers would be great though.
They’re usually either used but good quality slippers (you just put them over your socks…) or brand new, disposable, paper slippers.
So I got to discussing this thread with a friend of mine, who noted that I, dedicated-wearer-of-shoes-in-other-people’s-houses, almost always remove my shoes at HER house. We set to puzzling this one out, comparing notes, and we reached a conclusion. When I am in her house, I do remove my shoes - and I also put my feet on the furniture. When she’s here, same goes. I started thinking about where else I remove my shoes, and it turns out that I also do this at another friend’s house routinely (and she does, here, too). Yet another friend, who occasionally visits from out of state, is also a shoes-off-in-my-house person.
So this is the conclusion we reached: if I am close enough friends with someone that I would pee with the bathroom door open when they’re around, then I am shoes-off. That’s family! Otherwise, I’m a guest (or vice-versa) and shoes stay on.
This is a really interesting thread. I’m an American, and I can’t imagine wearing my shoes all the time if I were having people over. Most people automatically take their shoes off upon entering my house, though I wouldn’t ask them to if they didn’t. The only occaision where I would be wearing shoes in my house and would expect a guest to keep theirs on is if I were throwing a formal party. That would be kinda weird to be running around in my stockings barefoot with all the other women doing the same. As for going to other people’s houses, I usually keep my shoes on unless there’s a mat by the door with a line of shoes and the hosts aren’t wearing theirs. Then I just ask “Oh, should I take my shoes off?” and act accordingly. I can’t imagine getting mad at someone for not taking their shoes off in my house, though. I mean, I’m more comfortable without them, but other people just aren’t. When I’ve got people over, I want them to be as comfortable as possible.
:eek:
That’s a whole 'nother can of worms!
I’m told that skin oils can contribute to the degradation and discoloration of carpet fibers.
A most enlightening thread, though I must say I prefer Hawaii, where it’s understood that you remove shoes before entering a person’s house. (I guess I’d be comfy in Canada, too.) All this stuff about taking one’s shoes off means making yourself at home or it being rude to ask someone to take their shoes off or the dangers of being unshod are totally new to me.
Where I’m from, taking your shoes off is part of entering someone’s home. Making yourself at home is removing your pants or underwear and fiddling with bodily orifices. Rudeness isn’t asking someone to take their shoes off; rather, rudeness is insisting your shoes stay on your feet. And if you’re concerned about stepping on things, well, while your host has a responsibility to keep dangerous or unsavory things from being stepped upon, fer god sakes, watch where you’re going.
This would apply to casual get-togethers, by the way; formal dinners aren’t routinely held at families’ homes.
It’s also interesting to see people’s attitudes on the host-guest relationship. I was raised to see it as a two-way street: guests are to be tended to but hosts are still the lords of the domain. A host should reasonably accomodate his guests, but the guests should respect the reasonable house rules. But here I’m hearing that a guest shouldn’t have to follow any rules, as he is a guest, and that it’s rude, as a host, to ask things of your guests. That hosts are only supposed to see to the comfort of their guests.
I’m not sure I’d want someone with that attitude in my home, frankly.
I would ask the people who think that those who ask folks to take their shoes off are more concerned about their floor than their guests’ comfort consider that your host’s home is not solely for entertaining guests. While it does seem as though they care more about their floor than about you, I think it should be remembered that it’s your hosts’ home, and once you’ve left, they have to live with the stains. You wouldn’t want a discolored, pebbly hallway, would you? It may be rude to ask you to go unshod, but it’s equally rude to expect them to clean their carpets for you. Besides, isn’t it tacky to knowingly dirty up someone else’s home, regardless of how easy it was to clean up afterward?
If it’s absolutely intolerable for you to go unshod, you should explain why to the host and make pains to ensure your shoes are clean.
Oh, and the cream-colored carpet was the apartment management’s choice, not ours.
Well, since I wear my shoes in my house, I guess my answer is yes. I want a discolored, pebbly hallway, at least temporarily, rather than a lack of shoes. Strangely, I don’t have a discolored, pebbly hallway, despite bad weather and my shoe neurosis. And that’s what I find baffling. How is it that I wear shoes essentially all my waking hours, yet my house is not a giant mass of stains? It could be that I’m just special that way, I guess! 
Julie
Are you sure your feet touch the ground?
Just relaying from my experience, is all. I’ve had to clean up too much tree debris and asphalt pebbles off my kitchen floor, and I just don’t like the idea of everything out there being tracked in here, y’know?
And you moved to Michigan???
As for shoes I love to go barefoot. When the ground is nether wet nor cold I go barefoot every but in stores and my job. Removing my shoes is a nonissue. However when it’s cold or wet I feel a little odd removing my shoes at someone elses’s house unless I know them real well. I don’t why I feel funny about it but I do.
I’m sure. They also manage to touch table legs, the cats, invisible cracks in the sidewalk, any object that is hard and unyielding, staticky carpet, anything dropped from a great height and, strangely enough, my mother who is constantly stepping on my toes!
Julie
Oops.
You are quite right. I think I was scarred by the mother of a friend when I was a child, who WAS nuttily anal. Making us take our shoes off at the door and finish all the food on our plates was but a small part of it. She was the only person I’ve ever come across who insisted on shoes-off-in-my-house, and I have been unfairly baised against it ever since.
No, I wouldn’t, and I apologize, especially as I asked a Canadian friend (who has been to my house, and kept her shoes on) if it really was a Canadian custom, and she agreed that it was.
I stand corrected.
You would love Canadian mothers, Zephyrine - you could hear them yelling at kids to get their wet boots off from the street. “I just washed that floor - get those muddy boots off of it!”, etc. But it was done with love, ya know?
Ya know, this whole thread is one gigantic argument for galoshes to make a big comeback.
You don’t know from nutty anal, my friend (with all due respect).
My friend’s mom was nutty anal. Of course we took our shoes off at the door. This wasn’t the problem. But picture a bunch of your 16-year old friends coming over to your place. We sit in the living room a bit, to talk to the parents (as good kids do). When we got up from the sofa, the mother would come behind us, before we were steps away, and bang down on the sofa to get the ‘dust’ off, plump up the throw cushions that were behind us, and straighten them out. This was before we even made it out of the living room.
Once in my friend’s bedroom, we all knew the golden rule. We couldn’t sit on her bed until she pulled the bedspread back. The one time that we had done this, before she could ask us to wait, her mother popped her head in the room and went completely ballistic about her “not taking care of her things”. I guess she was too shy to ask us, once we were comfortably seated.
And then there was the time she couldn’t come to my birthday celebrations because she had to shine her father’s shoes. No, it wasn’t an excuse. No, he wasn’t in the forces. He was a retired guy with not much to do in his day. Her parents really DID keep an 18 year old home on a Friday night to polish and wax.
All that being said, aren’t ya lucky I only have a problem with “shoes off”?
I’ll take my shoes off if someone asks, but I am much more comfortable with shoes on. It’s the support or something. With my shoes off, I tend to walk on the balls of my feet. As I am already 6’4", its a bit of a strange site.
Heh, It’s only carpet, if you have mud on your shoes of course, take them off. We live in a very snowy area. 6 months of the year, we have snow on the ground. I never bother taking off my shoes in my house. It’s just a bit of water.
And I agree.
Good job in finding that doomraisin, and thinking of us!
From that site:
(edited, but you get the gist)
In this case, I agree as well. It’s not quite the same thing, though. I don’t think I remember one of the “shoes off” people here saying they ask their guests to remove their shoes. In fact, I claimed that I would be more horrified to ask them to take their shoes off than for them to keep them on.
And I think Prudie needs “culture lessons”. It’s obviously much more widespread than Japan. Her neighbours to the north, to start.