People who stand around like cattle

[Cat_Whisperer]

I have never understood any of this. My personal peeve is the people that stand in front of entrance doors, watch you walk right up to them, and then wait for you to say “excuse me” before they’ll move from in front of the door. You are standing in front of the only door to this store - how can you not know that when I walk right up to your face, I’m going to expect you to get the hell out of the way so I can use the door? Did you think I was just coming up to start a conversation with a total stranger?

The other day in a crowded bookstore, these two ladies were standing and blocking the entire aisle. I noisily shuffled through the books behind them for a couple of minutes before one of them moved her large, bovine head and noticed me there.

What I don’t get is how these people can be so oblivious. I always, always, always know when someone is close to my personal space.

[Jackmannii]

@Mr. Blue Sky

How many times have you seen this:…
A group of people walking down a narrow sidewalk. They manage to walk at an angle not leaving enough space between them to pass. They also decide to move at a pace of .00000000001 miles per day.

And it’s fun when a group of four or five abreast is coming towards you and apparently expects you either to slither into the gutter (if you’re on a sidewalk) or melt into the wall (if you’re in a building corridor).

And yes, it is a violation of natural law to walk down the left side of a corridor unless you’re about to enter an office or intersecting corridor on that side. Walk right, pass left.

[Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party]

A group of people walking down a narrow sidewalk. They manage to walk at an angle not leaving enough space between them to pass. They also decide to move at a pace of .00000000001 miles per day.

ARGH!
This pisses me off more than anything else. I just feel like screaming “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!”. They don’t even realise that there are people behind them half the time, wanting to get past, and instead force everyone else with a normal walking pace out onto the road or through a puddle to get round them.

It’s the most annoying thing in the world.

[Finagle]

Rats in crowded cages will start to eat each other. I think if we humans adopted this behavior, people would very soon start acting more considerately in crowds

[Rufus_Xavier]

Yeah, and how about at the entrance to a place where really large crowds gather, like a concert, sporting event, or amusement park? It is inevitable that you, knowing exactly where you are going and how you are going to get there, will find your forward progress impeded by at least one group of absolutely clueless dunderheads standing no more than 6 feet from the entrance where 20,000 people are in line and trying to get in, and these rockheads are going, ‘duh, I dunno, you wanna get some food? Duh, I dunno, where’s the bathroom? Duh, I dunno’

Or my favorite: In line at the parking garage where you have to pay for parking, It is, appraently, a rule that the person ahead of you must have at least a five minute conversation with the booth attendant. What are they discussing? I can only speculate. It has never taken me longer than 30 seconds to negotiate this transaction, but it seems to be a serious challenge for some people.

[Ferret_Herder]

@Dante

Honey? That you?

checks the location field Nope, can’t be…

However, as an agent of universal karmic distribution, I have adopted a new plan. When walking by one of these abandoned carts, I take out one small item that’s sure not to be missed. That way when they get home, they will have to spend a ridiculous amount of time looking at their receipt, in their bags, back in the car, etc etc.

You waste my time, I waste yours.

…but I think I love you anyway.

[Lord_Ashtar]

@Jackmannii

And yes, it is a violation of natural law to walk down the left side of a corridor unless you’re about to enter an office or intersecting corridor on that side. Walk right, pass left.

Thank you! I knew I didn’t just dream this up!

[Scarlett67]

Oh, all of these piss me off. Moooooo. (Where’s a cattle prod when you need one?)Here’s another trick that the oblivious, self-absorbed idiots pull:

I’m in a store aisle that is blessedly empty. I’m standing back from the display I want to look over, enough so that people can get by (who’d’a thunk it?). My peaceful study of the items for sale is interrupted by a couple of thoughtless cows who come barging in, right in front of me, and proceed to manhandle the items I was trying look at, hopelessly blocking my view of any of them.

Hello??!! I was here first, and if you stood back we could BOTH look at the pretty gizmos. Or you could go look for something else and come back, as I often do when someone is absorbed in looking at something that I want to see also. But no, these yahoos don’t seem to understand that I exist and might want to shop ALSO.

[Rebo]

@Dante

Honey? That you?

My favorite though is people who leave their cart in one place, inevitably blocking an aisle or path, and then wander off to grab something somewhere. I get a real kick out of sending their cart flying off to some unused portion of the store, and then watching them come back and hunt around for it.

However, as an agent of universal karmic distribution, I have adopted a new plan. When walking by one of these abandoned carts, I take out one small item that’s sure not to be missed. That way when they get home, they will have to spend a ridiculous amount of time looking at their receipt, in their bags, back in the car, etc etc.

You waste my time, I waste yours.

That’s good, but I prefer to put a small innocous item IN their cart. Like, say, a box of condoms. If they notice in checkout, it’s still embarassing to them. If they don’t notice until they get home…well—Lucy, you got some ‘splainin’ to do!

[World_Eater]

Oh sweet chirst this OP has touched one of my raw nerves. Preach it Satyricon!

I hate them all, but two types in particular drive me up the wall and beyond.

Sidewalk loafers, who walk right down the side walk, totally oblivious to people behind them trying to dart by on either side, as they slowly plod along. Pick a fucking side and stay there!

I’ve learned in the past few years that a “hey move the fuck over to the side” will fix the situation. It hasn’t failed me yet.

Subway losers who bumrush the car and won’t let you off. I used to go “EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME”, while I put my hands out in front of me and shoved people. Lately, I’ve stood in the doorway with my hands up in exasperation, like some tragic figure, while the schmucks flow around me. Somehow I end up doing some type of “crowd surf” out of the subway car, yet I never leave my feet.

Anyone want to help me develop my “people wedge”. Basically It’s a cow catcher on a broomstick, but it would be great for rush hour.

[AngelicGemma]

On my way to university I pass a building site. It has taken up the pavement so a section of the road has been sectioned off for pedestrians. It is about 2 people wide. I always managed to get stuck behind 2 people having a chat side by side while walking 000000000000000000000.1 mile an hour. Very fustrating.

[AHunter3]

May I bring my signs and banners from a previous rally?

People in subways moving with the alacrity of enheroinated cows

[Ale]

@Finagle

Rats in crowded cages will start to eat each other. I think if we humans adopted this behavior, people would very soon start acting more considerately in crowds

Well, to begin with, widespread canibalism would reduce the overcrowding problem. :dubious:

[Lsura]

Ok, this happened to me the other day, and I considered ranting about it. Then I didn’t because other things came up that I had to do.

I go to school, so when I’m driving on campus, I’m hyper aware that there are pedestrians about. I take my time, and I don’t intend to hit anyone.
BUT…I’m trying to turn right into the parking area, right at a crosswalk. There was a group of three people crossing, two guys and a girl walking about 5 feet or so in front of them. Well, I stopped to let them finish crossing - that’s what I do. I don’t want to be hit when I’m the pedestrian, so I make a point of not hitting them when I’m in my car.

The girl saw me stop, so she turned around and meandered back the five feet to the guys - who saw her coming and stopped. They then continued to walk in the original direction, but at a snail’s pace. When they got to the other side of the road, they immediately began inching their way across the entrance to the parking area - walking slower than I’ve ever seen anyone walk, I swear. This became a 5-10 minute process. Really - and neither crossing is that wide.

When they were finally clear of the crosswalks, I turned in, to hear the girl say loudly (my window was open): “That white chick just thought she should go in front of us, because we’re black”. I’m still rather dumbfounded by the comment and really have no idea where it came from - there are no stickers on my car that could even remotely be misinterpreted.
And Stroller People? My favorites are the ones who use the stroller as a battering ram to work their way through crowds, then stop once they get to the front of the group.

[mischievous]

Since in NYC you have to smoke outside, there is always a horde of people from the trendy bar next door standing in front of my building. Or - even better - sitting on the step in front of the door, completely blocking the entrance. And, of course, these people are drunk.

Me (to the group of five drunken trendoids): Excuse me! Coming through!
Trendoid #1 (the only one who noticed): Huh?
Me: Get off the steps please, so I can get through.
Trendoid #1: Oh, wow, you want to get to the door?
Me: (sigh) Yes!
Trendoid #1 to Trendoid #2: Hey, I think the lady wants to get through…
Trendoid #2: Huh?
Trendoid #1: The lady, she wants to get to the door.
Trendoid #2: No, it’s locked.
Trendoid #1: No, I think she lives here.
Trendoid #2: Oh! Oh, yeah, okay.
Trendoid #2 to other trendoids: Hey guys, move - that chick needs to get through the door.
Others: But it’s locked.
Trendoid #2 (in a burst of logic): She lives here. She has a key!

Needless to say, when I’m trying to get home after a long day and I have to pee, listening to these inane discussions is not at the top of my priority list.

mischievous

[Lsura]

@Lsura

…really have no idea where it came from - there are no stickers on my car that could even remotely be misinterpreted.

I should clarify - the only sticker on my car is one from my undergraduate college. And since I didn’t think the things she claimed I did - and I can’t imagine why I would think such a thing - her comment only led to confusion on my part.

[Velma]

I hate when I am looking at a display in a store that is on one of those turnstyle things - like sunglasses or accessories or whatever. I can be choosing an item or looking at one side and someone will walk up next to me or on the other side and just start turning it so they can see. Never mind that I am holding an item and now have to walk around to put it back or see the rest of the items on that side. No really - go ahead and turn it around and around and I’ll just try to catch a glimpse of the item I like as it whizzes by.

I also hate when kids are playing in the road and refuse to promptly get out of the way when a car needs to get by. If there is really no other place to play than in the road, someone has to watch out for cars and you need to get out of the way when traffic comes! I have had kids throw stuff at my car and pretend to jump in front of me or kick my car when I am inching my way through their play area. Hello - this is a street, not your hockey arena. If you will just go play at a park or something I promise not to drive my car into your game.

[tdn]

While, in considering the moos that piss me off most, I would check “all of the above”, there is on special category of fucknut that hasn’t been mentioned yet. It’s the impatient anti-cow.

Let me share an example of this annoying behavior.

I was once in a cafeteria at a hospital. My tray was loaded up with yummy accoutrements, including hot cream of soup and cold carbonated sweetened beverage, and I was on a quest to find a table. Now realize the geography of the situation – between the cafeteria section and the seating section was a very narrow opening. It was a space maybe big enough for one person to fit through, tops. So I try to go through, and get stuck behind one elderly person slowly pushing another in a wheelchair. They pretty much blocked the whole aisle.

Fine, I thought, better to be stuck behind a wheelchair than in one, after all. I can be patient.

When all of a sudden some assbomb with a tray comes up behind me, and tries to push past me, as if I’m the ignant cattle. “Excuse me”, she says, “coming through! Sir, can you move please? I’m trying to get around you!” Binch then pushes past me, only to confront the new difficulty of the wheelchair, that, had she looked 3 feet beyond me, would have been obvious.

Did it ever occur to her that perhaps I was trying to get through myself, and my own way was blocked? Fuck no, her own self absorption, rivalling that of quilted quicker picker uppers the world over, prevented it.

While this happened in a cafeteria, I see it most often on public transportation (and in Boston, no less), usually on the Green Line or buses.

[mhendo]

I invite those who want a laugh to read the Tales of the Sweaty, Feculent Herd, by Dante.

[FordPrefect]

@county

Well, ok, what really chaps my ass are the motherfuckers in my office building who want to get on the elevator before I can get off. Many actually brush past me actully boarding the elevator before I can get off. They can’t seem to wait until the elevator clears and are waiting outside the doors actually impeding people who are trying to get the fuck off. I’d like to carry a “stun gun” - I bet if I hit a half dozen or so with 50,000 volts that things would straighten up around here pretty quick.

I get pissed off just watching assholes like that, as I stand off to the side of the elevator doors.

The thing that angers me the most is the sidewalk plodders, but more angri-fying is the sidewalk plodder-drifter. Not only is there only an occasional window to pass the bastards but they seem to have this uncanny ability to shorten one leg or something and cut me off.