Fodder for sitcoms - Howard Wolowitz going on and on about being and astronaut, Al Bundy reliving his football triumphs at Polk High - but have you encountered it in real life?
This came to mind because yesterday I got an email from a long-time friend. I’ve known him over 40 years, tho I haven’t seen him in more than 14. I’d written to him that he’d popped up in a dream my husband had (it seemed as good an excuse as any to get in touch again.) In the course of him explaining dream analysis to me (no, I didn’t ask) he managed to work in the time he was shot in a workplace incident over 20 years ago.
Even at the time, he seemed to glory in it too much - he made an album (paper type, not digital) with photos of his injuries, copies of the x-rays, newspaper clippings, and the like. When I introduced him to a couple other friends of mine, he worked the shooting into the conversation, tho it was an absolute non sequitur. I know getting shot isn’t a normal, everyday occurrence (at least not back then) but it was over 20 years ago and he still managed to bring it up!
Anyone in your life inclined to do things like this?
You beat me to it
Seriously, though, the “glory days” phenomenon, I’ve noticed, is more rampant with men than women.
It’s a hedge against growing older, I think. It’s also a way of doing what apes do when they pound their chests – “Hey, I’m here, this is what I did, who I was, don’t forget that!” It’s almost like the middle aged version of competition, in a sense. If you can no longer physically compete, mentioning things you’ve done is the next best way to do so.
My husband, for instance, can and will wax eloquent over his high school and twentysomething exploits. I know all the stories by heart. They all feature him as the hero. I’m willing to bet if you asked any of his friends for their versions, they’d all place themselves as the hero. They’ll never be that way either physically nor mentally again, so if they keep replaying it, it must be true…right?
I see this often, it gets old and boring real quick. I may have lost an old friend over this a few days ago. He has been going on and on about his exploits as a successful contractor for the past 30 years in which time he lived with his aging mother and never worked. He is polishing off the last of the $400,000 inheritance within the next month and is still going on and on about how he will be going back into business. I couldn’t take it anymore and let him have the truth as I see it. He hung up on me. He spent the $400,000 in just a little over 1 year and makes $600.00 a month in social security.
It sounds to me that the OPs old friend still hasn’t come to terms with getting shot. But then, I pretty much never tell stories of violence I’ve experienced. Maybe I’m the one who hasn’t come to terms.
But story telling is part of what we do, from Homer on. Odysseus’s grandkids probably thought, “Not Scylla and Charybdis again …”
No, he just likes to tell the story and bask in the shock and amazement of those who haven’t heard it yet. There are other things about him that I won’t snark about, but he does like to let people know how special he is. If we didn’t have such a long history together, I wouldn’t have anything to do with him, but I knew him when he was still kinda gawky and insecure, so I mostly let the bragging go by unremarked.
So true.
I think it is tricky to figure out the difference between Past Glories and telling hopefully amusing stories of things that happened in our past, especially when we are past of the age of doing interesting things.
I used to be roomates with a couple guys in college like that. One was quarterback of the football team, the other captain of the basketball team and also homecoming king. Both came from small towns where these things meant something. At the time I found them tedious and a bit dull - they thought I was a weirdo. As I get older I think I may have been a bit harsh in my assessment; I mean they could live another 60 years and never do anything that will be the same or be able to feel that way again. Very few people really ever do anything much of note or ever do anything where others will care one way or the other about what they do. It was also a big shock coming from small towns to the very large university where they would not even be able to make any of the sports teams. They also had been left by their girlfriends after high school - they were no longer cool anymore.
The funny thing about a lot of guys is that they really have been successful in their own right but for some reason never got the same fulfillment that they felt with the sports or other activities that involved recognition. I think it is just a matter of learning to pat yourself on the back when you deserve it and to hell with what anyone else thinks.
Similarly, people who brag about their SAT scores or GPA loooooooong after it doesn’t matter - it may have been a high point in high school or college, but when you’re 20 years past graduation, unless you’re trying to make a point to your kids (like they care) it’s just kinda pathetic to share such a tidbit.
What Exit? - I agree that there’s a difference, and it’s all in the presentation and the frequency with which it’s brought up. If I’m talking to a bunch of Veterans about our bootcamp experiences and I mention that I got an academic award, that’s an anecdote. But if you mention your kid just made honor roll, and I bring up my bootcamp award, that’s pathetically close to wallowing.
And, no, that wasn’t the high point of my 11 years in uniform - just an example. No, really…
I tend to do that now in my elder years. Not past glories, did not have many of them.
I have lucky to have done many things and done them well but no one cares anymore because all my stuff is in the museums now so my attempts to educate others on stuff or ways of doing some things that have not really changed are discounted because I was doing it 40 - 50 years ago so it can not be relative anymore.
It seems to me that there is very few that think old people can also be wise people & are awfully quick to dismiss them from an anonymous position which advanced tech has made possible and they never have to be responsible for their treatment of themselves or others.
I do think I am prone to ‘ranting’ a lot more than when I was younger… Ya think? Bawahahahaha
Well, tangentially related to this, when I worked security at a Division III school, all too many of the athletes were arrogant assholes, as if they were someone.
I laughed in the face of one dickhead baseball player who was acting like he was already famous and important and said “Dude, after you graduate from this school, you’ll be working for Sport Mart, not playing professional baseball. You’ve got nothing on me.”
Fair enough, though military time is often the most intense exciting part of your life, even in peace time. Combination of the job and the age you are at the time. College fills the same role for many people though different, it is usually the same age range.
But I completely get your point about the random and out of no where bring up of past glories. BTW I got a 4900 on my SATs did I mention that? actually only a 1370 out of 1600 iirc<–
Wise-ass.
OK, but how many Stars?
Well that was cruel. This was probably going to be this poor jocks last high point in life, you could have let him have it.
Yeah, OK, I started out enlisted and got out as a LT (equivalent to a Captain in the Army). If you scroll down on this page to where it says O-3, you’ll see 2 stripes with a star above, so when I was in my dress uniform, I had 2 stars - one on each sleeve.
