…but it had better be very light—not golden brown, dammit—and warm enough to melt butter and juuuuuuuuuust at the stage of being crunchy.
Well there’s no secret to toasting perfection
There’s a dial on the side and you make your selection
Push to the dark or the light and then
If it pops too soon, press down again!
(Heywood Banks)
You want it to be handed, or be thrown, at you?
Toast isn’t thrown. You’re thinking of salad.
You’re probably one of those crunchy-dark-flavorful toast-eating heretics, aren’t you? Back, I say, back!
For really tasty golden-brown toast try this: Spread butter on both sides of the bread before you put it in the toaster. It takes longer to cook that way, though.
[Lister] I don’t want no smeggin’ toast! [/Lister]
I like toasted bagettes with cinnamon and butter. My grandmother used to make toast like that when we went to her house. I would always steal her piece. 
Hey, I like golden-brown toast.
I like golden brown too. With butter and cinnamon sugar. Yum.
It’s not good toast unless it’s good bread to begin with. Like a nice sourdough. Or a slice of La Brea Bakery’s Chocolate Sour Cherry Bread. With unsalted butter, please. Thanks.
I’m for golden brown too. Anything that doesn’t actually look like toast is … well, bread, quite frankly.
I have, I’m proud to say, in only 26 years on this earth (okay, almost 27), perfected the art of toast-making. First, one starts with a toaster oven. No other toasting apparatus will be accepted. Then the bread is toasted to golden brownness, spread with butter (preferably real butter, not margarine), and put back into the toaster oven until the butter is melted. Upon doing this, you will have achieved the perfect balance of butteryness and crunchiness. Mmmmmm … toast!
You know, I just realized that I put this in Cafe Society. :smack:
I double-toast mine to get it extra crunchy without burning it. I put it on medium-dark, let it go through the cycle, and then I let it cool down for a couple of minutes before I toast it again. Crunchy goodness!
No…salad is tossed.
I pefer the French veriety, personally.
Failing that, a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch will do.
OK, as per request, this is moved from Cafe Society to IMHO.
Pizza is thrown. The bread, anyway. If you toss it after you put the toppings on, it gets kind of messy.
I used to work with somebody who knew her toast was done when the smoke alarm went off. Seriously, she’d turn bread into charcoal and she loved it that way. Fresh bread toasted to a golden brown is the only way to go.
I propose a toast from the movies: