Personal lives on the SD

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This question goes out to all of you folks who know someone IRL who posts (or at least reads) here. Someone you might not want to know your deepest secrets. Or your current thoughts. Could be your SO, your mother, your child, your ex.

Is anyone out there afraid to post on the SD, not because of all the strangers and potential for trolls and such, but because it’s something you don’t want someone close to know? Say bitching about your SO. Getting advice on how to handle a dating situation. Etc.

How do you deal with it?

2

Here, as IRL, I follow a simple rule: Do whatever you’d regret not doing, and don’t do what you would.

So, let them read it.

3

Interesting question, Irishman. As someone who has a hubby and two close friends who all post here, I can relate to this. For the reasons you mentioned, as well as others, I am afraid to always say everything I’m thinking. I like to flirt, for one example; but now that hubby is lurking and occasionally posting, I’m half afraid to do that, or at least, censor what I might say, for fear of it being misinterpreted by someone, or hubby getting jealous, since after tomorrow, he’ll be back on the other side of the world from me. :frowning:

Anyway, I know just what you mean, my friend. 'Nuff said.

4

I post it all. Yep, most people know that about me by now.
My hubby treats this as my little world so no worries there, and at that we have no secrets so there wouldn’t even be a shock factor.
IRL I pretty much tell all also.
I get good responses and bad ones, and then I weed them out and make up my own mind.

5

Having turned my best friends and sister on to the forum, I must admit I never thought about it until you mentioned it.
However, I’m awfully out front IRL and don’t usually edit myself, so people who know me, well…know me. I have had people tell me that my writing is just like talking to me, so I guess I post the same way. No foul, no penalty. And no one has ever called me to say “You said WHAT!!!” So it seems to be working.

6

I embarassed myself to death years ago. My ghost simply has no dignity left, so I can post whatever I want with the realization that I’m so dumb that anybody could ask me my name and I’d tell 'em or they could figure out who I am from my postings if they knew me. I just depend on the anonymity of numbers–I probably don’t actually know anybody here.

7

I don’t really care what I post. I have little to no dignity, so I can never really be embarrassed. Come on, I enjoy playing fun games of “Penis” in public (If you don’t know what that game is…basically, you say penis louder and louder until someone refuses to or is unable to say it louder than the other competitors…I usually win)

8

I post and let the cards fall as they may.
I fear not itinerant lurkers. Some of the more regular folks, though, can assemble a complete picture by reading many of my posts, assuming a bit and taking a guess.

I’m always honest here, as I would go insane trying to remember what I’d posted before so as not to contradict myself.

If I get called on something (as I have recently), I usually just post the whole truth and the situation is diffused.

No harm, no foul.

BTW, PENIS! !

I win, Monster.

9

What’s this edit/delete option at the bottom of my screen for??

OH, MY GOD!! :eek:

10

Well, my younger brother lurks here and occasionally posts as Rincewind. Once he mentioned that he found the “Does Size Really Matter” thread, saw my name and screamed in terror before closing the thread.

Yeah, that and the time where he read my confession to smoking pot on a few occasions. My response was “Yeah, I have. Please don’t tell the parents.” He now has blackmail material. sigh

For the most part, though, I don’t let it bug me too much. I trust that he’ll go blind and fall over in a dead faint if he comes across a sex thread where my name shows up. Other than that, the only thing I fear is being teased for my typos.

11

Yeah, I don’t want to post anything about Heatherlee anymore…

I don’t really post private stuff.

I’m always amazed the young ones post their most intimate personal emotional or sexual thoughts on a message board that is archived like forever. Posts here even show up in major search engine databases. Whoa!

12

Seems like if anyone did have posting fears, they certainly would not post to this thread.
On a slightly different note, my posting habits have indeed changed since I became involved with another person who posts to and reads the board. Previously, any relationship info I posted was anonymous, meaning the parties I mentioned did not read this board and no one knew who they were, I was simply sharing what I felt comfy sharing about my life. Now my life involves another active member of the SDMB, and until we are physically together to discuss certain issues (11 days!), I simply do not share (very)personal items. We need our space.

13

Well, since y’all know who I am, there is a LOT I would never dream of posting here.

Oh, my, I have so many shocking mysteries and scandals, enough to keep A.J. Benza busy for weeks . . .

14

I deal with it by posting what have said IRL. And by being truthful in what I say. Besides, I’m pretty open IRL too, as some of you know.

That way there is nothing I say here that LIONsob doesn’t already know.

15

Most people will probably see my name on this thread and think, “Oh, she’s gonna start talking about Satan.” He is, however, the least of my worries as far as sharing personal information goes. What most people are not aware of is that both my mother and my aunt are frequent lurkers and sometimes posters, and have been since the AOL days. I don’t often temper my posting style for their sake, though. I have a very close knit family (for example, who else here has conversations about oral sex with their grandmothers? I do) and pretty much anything I say here they already know about. I do tone myself down a bit sometimes, though, just to spare their delicate sensibilities. :wink:

16

I’m IRL pretty much like I am here. The only thing that tempers what I say here is consideration of hurting others; however, if you’re a troll or come after me, I mostly don’t give a damn.

I will occasionally change the name to protect the guilty, but not at the expense of the post.

17

Thanks all for the replies, but somehow I don’t feel anyone has hit what I was trying to get at.

For example, asking relationship advice when the other party is here. For instance, not too long ago I asked advice about whether I should ask out a certain young lady. Said lady does not, to my knowledge, have any awareness of this site, so I could be pretty confident that anything said would not get back to her. Thus, I was able to describe the situation, my motivations, and descriptions of her that if not impolite were at least a little less than flattering. However, if I had any suspicion that she read this site, I would probably have been more reserved - maybe not posted it at all - out of concern she’d figure out who I am and what was up, and perhaps get hurt feelings.

The nice thing about this site is you can ask for advice on just about any topic and somebody around here has some experience that is relevant. Sometimes it just is nice to have a large pool of confidants to bounce off ideas.

That would be much more difficult if I were, say, discussing whether I should break up with someone (like I’m dating) and that person were a reg here.

Psycat90 mentioned another situation - now you’re not just sharing information about yourself and your anonymous past experiences, but rather info on another party here. Suddenly you can’t post “my boyfriend is a premature ejaculator - help” without facing the consequences of risking said boyfriend’s masculinity in front of his friends. (Random example - I don’t have a boyfriend. And I’m not implying anything about Demo.)

I guess that’s what’s bugging me.

18

If I knew that anyone I knew read my posts here, I’d be crazy to post what I do. Perhaps that’s why I post it.

19

Well, I was once in a chat room, and someone asked for advice about a relationship, and during the course of the conversation, mentioned that the S.O. had been reading over his shoulder the whole time. I dunno why a person would do that, but apparently some folks do.
As for myself, well, maybe I just don’t have much of a personal life, but there’s not much I would be worried about sharing here. Heck, nobody’s going to be embarassed about time travel and black holes anyway :slight_smile:

20

This thread calls to mind other threads of the past recounting (as mine have been, generally failed) efforts to recruit friend and acquaintance to the board. I’ve as yet been wholly unsuccessful. My past efforts to spread the joy of the SDMB to my partner never took, and I subsequently made a few posts that I’m, uh, not anxious for her to see - but, as we do manage to get down to what we’re thinking eventually, it wouldn’t be a big deal. Everything of that nature that I’ve posted represents a bridge we’ve crossed since. I might have been more circumspect had I thought she was reading in real-time.

That recalls some other thread where somebody made the claim that men and women can’t be friends without the sexual thing interfereing, Not so with my not SO partner and I - but there is something special about the rare relationships you might have with someone with whom you share a checkbook (especially during skinny times).

But swerving back toward the OP, I think (and we’ll just have to wait a few days and see) that I might have successfully recruited a couple I know with whom I jollied away some of the weekend holiday. If they do show, I’ll say it won’t affect my degree of candor at all. I am no different in my opinions and actions here than IRL. No webs to weave, no desire to deceive.

News Flash

OP (Irishman) posted since I started this, or read the thread last, and refocused the thread. I’ll try to respond.

Yes, Irishman, I recognize that value of the board to some and many. Prior to a certain point in our collective troll history where multiple user names became illegal, a reg did sometimes come in with a question that required a masked identity. We’ve lost that ability.

So…

You’re faced with having that unfettered by identity thought bouncing board being increasingly compromised by the gradual loss of anonymity that comes from continued presence here on the board. Some posters do remain far enough away to remain in the anything goes mode, while others reveal more and more of themselves, and pick up IRL friends as fellow board posters.

You probably just need to make a choice about which path you’re traveling.

I hope that helps you, pal.

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In ending, I’ll quote from phouka:

Keep that thought in mind, dear, as you read my response to your postcard thread.