Suppose you often found yourself comming up with questions regarding things of a personnal nature. It could be financial, health, relationship or anything else for that matter. You feel the questions might be of interest to quite a few people but avoid posting them because you would not want other dopers who are personnal friends to know you posted them. How is this handled? Or is it just avoided?
“Asking for a friend.”
If you are not comfortable posting your question to the SDMB on a certain topic, what you do is, you don’t post it on the SDMB.
I belong to another forum where alters are permitted for personal/embarassing questions, and, if I had an issue of that nature I would do it there. On SDMB it is emphatically NOT permitted.
You can generalize the question or find a relevant article somewhere and ask for people’s reaction to it. For example suppose you are sexually impotent and are wondering about Viagra vs penis pumps. It wouldn’t be too difficult to post something which gives the impression this is an interesting topic vs sexual impotence is a problem you have.
But specialized forums would probably give as good or better answers. There are forums devoted to all of these types of problems–credit problems for example.
Thats a good point and a legitimate one as well. Most of the questions or things I would like to post don’t actually apply to me anyway but I am worried someone might assume they do if I were asking them.
This board is searchable by google and what you post is up for… forever. It will be held up to scrutiny and ridicule from people who aren’t even born yet.
If there is even a remote chance that asking for this advice will turn around and bite you, don’t ask it.
Pretty sure none of my real life friends know my SDMB persona and none are of the type to play private eye and figure out who Canadjun really is based on what I have posted and what they know of me IRL. A long time ago I went by <first initial><last name> and I had it changed to Canadjun so that I could post personal things with a reasonable assurance of not being identified at a glance. So, on those very rare occasions when I post somewhat personal stuff, I’m not concerned.
ETA - And, to respond to Count Blucher’s comment, nothing I post could possibly be anything more than quite embarrassing if the wrong people found out.
Or just say, “my brother has this problem…”
I don’t really take any effort to hide my identity online, and there are a few dopers here who I know personally from dopefests. If whatever I’m thinking of isn’t fit to post to people who know me personally, I just don’t post it. This has prevented me from making a few posts over the years, but not many.
I’ve got no sense of personal privacy. If I think a story is worth telling…I tell it.
(Alas, that isn’t in any way a guarantee that the story is worth paying any attention to!)
Maybe it’s because I’m old, but I think I always felt this way. Whatever I am is what I am; no use trying to hide it because I will fuck up one way or another and it will all come out anyway.
Nobody in real life, not even my wife knows my username. I’ve posted photos of myself maybe a decade or so ago and there is a remote chance someone who has seen them and seen a guy like me put two and two together (though I must warn you, I have a TON of dopplegangers, seriously I don’t stand out in a crowd).
It has crossed my mind that personal stuff I’ve shared might bite me in the ass, and over time I’ve gotten progressively more discreet. One aspect that was kind of a wake up call about being too ‘personal’ is sharing stuff to someone, and finding out they have maybe 3 degrees of separation to someone (that you don’t want knowing) and having that other person inevitably find out. How could I possibly have known it would get to them? Now, I tend to err on the side of caution.
…please dont tell my wife! :eek:
I guess you could always say that you volunteered to post this for another doper who wanted to remain anonomous.
Whenever I have wanted to discuss things that I don’t want stored in the long-term memory bank of the SDMB, I simply go to another board. I’ve even gone the Yahoo! Answers route.
I don’t think there’s anything about me that, over the years, I’ve kept secret. Nobody here knows me in “real” life, and even if you did, I have nothing to hide. The only thing I haven’t mentioned is my partner’s name, at his request.
Anyone with Google and 15 seconds could probably figure out my real-world identity. I am old enough to not not give a rat’s ass what anyone else thinks about anything I post here.
No one here can locate the real me, I have no internet presence under my real name, AND although I’ve given enough unique details that the CIA/NSA could track me down probably I’m not really worried about that.
With good reason, but… does VBulletin support a subforum where users can enter a username with a post? With rules as tight as for GQ and moderation to prevent abuse, it could be an asset.
That said, I am sometimes disturbed by some of the posts and discussions here - the net is eternal and even years later, a connection to a real identity could have disastrous consequences. Even those who seem savvy just don’t seem to understand that all the puzzle pieces can be patiently swept up and assembled. I once connected two abusive users on very different forums because the person made a joke about his unique license plate on each. In these days of eternal data, bots and big data, not to mention the ever-increasing scope of plain old Google… I wish people had to wait 24 hours before confirming a post with personal info in it, no matter how kleverly disgyzzed.
My problem is that my sister is a Doper. If I assigned my problems to her, not only would she know what they were, she’d be annoyed at me for saying they were hers.
I do occasionally delete something before posting if I realize that it’s something I really wouldn’t want her to know. (Now she’s wondering what it is that I’m not telling her…)
Just as an FYI: it’s almost always easy to find out someone’s old username. I discovered that when I changed mine. I won’t say how (it’s probably common knowledge but no sense putting it right out there for all to see), but it took me less than two minutes to find yours.