Personal question about...dolphins

I’m NOT making this up.

I read it OMNI Magazine MANY years ago…back when it was semi-reputable. Like around 1980 I think.

It was an article about the different uses for the penis–different animals.

Among other things which seemd pretty obvious and so they didn’t stick in my mind, the article proclaimed that the dolphin(porpoise?) you know…the cute mammal with a larger but somewhat less folded brain than ours…the male of the species that is…I mean, the females couldn’t very well do this because…well…

“The dolphin uses it’s sensitive member to search the ocean floor…” and then the memory fades. Presumably because I can’t possibly imagine what it could be searching for.

If this is true, why the hell would an animal do this if it could echolocate as well as this creature? Is it looking for critters buried just under the sand? What if it finds a lobster? no jokes please. I need to know that I didn’t just make this up!

In another discussion about dolphin sex, someone mentioned that the penis is used as an arm.

Ya know, no matter how many times I try to reinterpret that sentence, it still seems wrong on so many levels.

I used Google with “prehensile + dolphin”, and after wading through all the creepy furry slash fics, I found this:

Now if you need me, I’ll be in councilling trying to get these images out of my head…

That was probably me.

Picture a human with no hands and non-functioning elbows. Such a person would use their arms much in the same way as a dolphin uses its erect penis.

Having once been a dolphin trainer, and having spent hundreds of hours watching these delightful mammals, I can attest to the fact that a male dolphin sometimes rub its sexual organ against the bottom of the tank, the side of the tank, the diver cleaning the tank… you get the idea. I believe they do this because it feels good. Remember, they don’t have any hands. Nuf said.

Cetacean masturbation. Heh.

Ages ago I read an article by Carl Sagan in which he mentioned he was in a shallow tank with some dolphins. One in particular kept passing close by, rolling on its side to brush him. After several passes, Sagan was suddenly aware he could feel this nub about at the dolphin’s middle. Then in a flash, it came to him this was a male dolphin and he was . . . interested.

As Sagan put it, “I suddenly felt like a maiden aunt who’s received an indecent proposal on the street. I blushed and climbed out of the tank.”

With his back to the ladder, I’d imagine.