Back in 2010, I was living with ‘The Bloke’ in a relationship. We shared a dog, Boris, and then got another puppy, Daphne. I moved out 5 yrs ago, leaving the doggies with The Bloke. Boris passed about 12 months ago. The Bloke visited me about 5 months ago, and insisted I take custody of Daphne from that point on (totally unexpected btw).
So now I had a doggie that didn’t interact with kids at all (I live with young grandies now) and she was looking uber depressed.
As we were going OS for a holiday, I took Daphne back to The Bloke for the duration of our trip…and now he is insisting I take her back again. She is not a doggie suited to a young-kid house, she is totes depressed living here (even though I do dog runs down the beach every morning yada yada) and I’m feeling awful about not wanting Daphne back!
However there’s nothing stopping him from ditching the dog, and if he insists that this what he’ll do, it does put kambucta into a situation with only 2 bad options: keep the dog or leave it to the system and hope that it works out.
Since the dog is yours (if you so choose) perhaps you could find a new home for it yourself instead of relying on this ‘Bloke’ to act responsibly. Sorry you’ve been put in this tough position, you shouldn’t have to be the one to resolve this but it sounds like the time to take the path of least resistance.
So you and a past SO, have a dog that neither of you wants. Find someone else to take it. Each of you don’t want to do that and want the other to do it. Be the bigger person and take responsibility for finding it a new home.
Bloke agreed to take care of the dog for five years then suddenly decides he doesn’t want to anymore. It’s an unreasonable expectation that the OP should be obligated to.
If they had just broken up; yes. But five years later; no.
The Bloke has kept the dog for five years since kambuckta moved out, so I doubt he’ll just ditch her after all this time. Kambuckta should stand her ground. Daphne is not happy being around the grandkids. The Bloke should find a good home for her. The fact that he asked kambuckta to take care of her speaks well for him, but he should respect that circumstances just don’t make it possible. Dogs and kids don’t always work out well together, and one shouldn’t force the dog into a situation it won’t accept lest one of the kids ends up getting bitten. Not saying it will happen, Daphne could be the world’s most tolerant dog, but stress can cause unforseen things to occur.
When he visited, he obviously had prepared to leave Daph with us (he lives 400km away JFTR), and had brought a week’s supply of food, bowls, bedding, leads etc, and then just out of the blue said, ‘I think Daphne will be better off here, I’m going now…bye’. To say that I was shell-shocked was a total understatement!
If it comes down to it, I will find a home for her. She’s a nice enough dog, but refuses to interact with the kids at all and is somewhat overwhelmed even if they just want to pat her. Apart from her enthusiasm for our daily walks, she’s not interested in any communications with adults or kids alike really. Oh, and woe and betide any dog that wants to sniff her butt at the beach…especially if there is a ball or stick involved. Despite being WELL socialized to hang out with other dogs, her ball/stick is sacrosanct and growls and nips will ensue.
Thanks for all the advice though folks. I guess we’ll come to a resolution at some point.
You’re a good person, kambuckta. I know you’ll find a good home for the dog where she and her new people will be happy with each other. If I didn’t live on the other side of the world, I’d be glad to take her. No kids in the house, so no worries there.
It’s weird because when I lived with The Bloke, the (now 7yr old) kid played happily with Daph, and she revelled in the toddler attention, licking and cavorting away like a regular doggie. I don’t know what has happened in the interim, but that sort of stuff is now off the menu, and dog/kid escapades are out. Such a shame really.
